For feeling bullied by the FB "missing dog" group

[frillyfarts]

A dog in our village went missing just over a month ago, and since then her owners have obviously been beside themselves looking for it. We live at the edge the village and have just over four acres of land running down to the river, a few outbuildings and some stables where I keep my horses and five pet sheep. We have dogs ourselves so I do understand their panic/desperation to get them back, our dogs are part of the family and I can't imagine what they're going through.

When he first went missing, we checked all our buildings and walked the perimeter of the paddocks - I messaged the lady to tell her this and she acknowledged it. Since then, there has been a significant Facebook following on the dog's missing page and all kinds of people have turned up to help look.

This has slowly become an issue as we've had strangers climb into our fields and spook the horses, trying to access our buildings (some of which we have valuables in) and walking around the paddocks in the dark which has scared me as I was alone and not expecting to see flashlights on our land.

The final straw was last night when a group spooked my horse who jumped the fence and injured himself, I had to get the vet out, he needed stitches. I feel I've been accommodating and I would always allow the lady (whose dog it is) to come and look for him as she is known to me, but obviously I don't want strangers walking about our buildings and scaring the horses at night. So I sent her a text this morning to say please make everyone aware they are not to enter my property without my permission - I explained the back story with the horse and vet.

This evening I have seen on FB that she has posted a long rant that "everyone in the village is helping to search for Bean and has been so cooperative, apart from one mad horsey lady who has sadly refused us any further permission to search for the dog. This leaves a missing piece in the jigsaw and he could be laying hurt in her field because of her own selfishness."

I feel bullied - I don't dare to communicate further with her because I feel it will be twisted against me and I feel like I'm been made to feel like the villain in this. I don't want to send her an angry message either for fear it will be screenshot and posted. She hasn't mentioned me by name or address so I don't think there is anything I can do? I just feel so got at, and so annoyed that I spent so long looking for their dog and I'm just been made to feel like the bad guy.

I’m sorry that your horse was injured by people , erroneously, feeling that they could wander over you land.
I hope that your horse is ok now.
I feel that you need to post the brilliant response from @moctodtensmum .

As your horse has jumped out and injured itself, do you now find a pressing need to install electric fencing? To keep the horse in, obviously. With proper signage, naturally...

Your poor horse. I’d have been annoyed about that too x

Yep agree use the reply from @moctodtensmum it can scarcely be bettered.
Normally the advice in these situations is sit on your hands and say nowt but not on your nelly! The bloody cheek of her!!

YANBU. It's getting to the point where your own animals are being injured by these people. You have been more than accommodating. I would post something along the lines of what moctodtensmum said and add at the end 'I won't be communicating further on this matter. I wish you the best of luck in finding the dog. Then take yourself off that page. Anymore trespassers and I would call the police.

I would replying this instance although I would usually advise ignoring. Something very short like "I think I may possibly be the "horsey lady". There has been a misunderstanding here. I have been searching for Bean and continue to search every day. However groups have been searching unannounced on my land day and night. Last night one of these groups spooked my horse who jumped a fence and ran off, injuring himself. This resulted in an emergency vet call out and stitches for a nasty wound. My request, which appears to have been misunderstood, was that if people wish to search my land, please inform me first so that I can keep my own animals safe. I hope as animal lovers you will understand. Rest assured I will continue to search for the missing dog and will inform the owner should I see him."

THEN delete the thread and try to forget about it.

We had an issue like this in our area. Dozens of people turned up shining torches, stamping about and shouting the dogs name. The poor thing was so terrified that it ran away

I would think that most dogs would find this very intimidating - a large group of complete strangers could make even the friendliest of animals wary.

My own springer is very shy and would run off if approached.

Maybe reply as a horsey person and say something along the lines of “I’m sure whoever has stopped you coming onto their land to search has done it for the safety of the community. As someone who owns horses, I know first hand how unpredictable and potentially dangerous they can be when spooked”

I think that's the other thing that baffles me - the search parties are mostly after dark. I had assumed it was due to work commitments but we have just had Xmas and still the searches have been conducted in the dark. This is more likely to spook animals in fields but surely it also makes it infinitely more difficult to actually find the dog?

Sadly, I don't think the poor thing is alive - he's a Bichon so a toy breed, used to living inside and he's been missing well over a month now. If he is by some miracle still alive, he's sure as shit not going to be cowering in a hedge bottom waiting for someone to coax him out with a chewy stick?

The OP has posted here because of a spat on fb and now some of you are on here spitting at each other. Stop detailing the thread and sort yourselves out.

Just what I was thinking KitN - it's very tedious.

She is a twat.

God no, if she then gets identified as the horsy lady, she'll look a complete twat.

I second and third everyone here saying post this on fb. You need to protect your own animals and that’s very reasonable. Some people above have written very well- very considered and reasonable. I would cut and paste if I was you. I’m so sorry your horse was hurt.

She is distraught, probably best to communicate directly to avoid escalating it all.

Report it to the page admins and ask them to remove the post as it’s incorrect, and you have a text to prove it, and the fact your own animal has now been injured. I would also send a FB PM to her asking her to remove the post as that’s not was said, and that actually your own animal has now been injured and that she is welcome to look at any time, just not everyone else. Otherwise you will be sending her your vet bill

I think they are very lucky you are being as reasonable as you are! I know a few people who own horses who would have gone mental at them the first time the entered the fields without permission.

Personally, I'd consider sticking up some signs reminding people that it is private land and horse can become dangerous when frightened- maybe also add that one of your horses has recently been injured due to trespassers. That's not as dramatic as doing anything on fb, but may help avoid future problems and may make people think twice about what the lady has said.

I agree it's weird they are always searching after dark- personally I would be nervous about people coming onto my property after dark unannounced! It's also more dangerous for them and they're less likely to find the dog!

That coupled with her extreme reaction almost makes me think the "searches" are cover for something else- I'm sure I just have an overactive imagination though!

I agree with you that the dog is probably dead by now anyway!

Tenner on it not being lost but stolen...

@glueandstick I’m wondering the same...

I think even if the dog owner is legit some of the searchers are not entirely altruistic.
A publicly acknowledged reason for wandering around other people's homes and land after dark is the perfect opportunity to commit burglary.
I'd speak to your local police about all this nocturnal activity.
If you weren't on the Facebook group would you think someone spooking your horse at night was looking for a lost dog or looking to steal from an outbuilding?

What @moctodtensmum said but add in that your horse lept the fence injuring itself, and that you could have easily had two animals lost.

Make clear that you're happy for people to check your land but need to speak to the search first to check where your animals are etc.

I'd post on the Facebook page as that's where you've been maligned.

@NannySusan yes this is my concern - whilst I believe she is genuine (and known to me) some searchers are random people who have joined her FB group to help look for the dog. They could be opportunistic thieves for all I know and my husband is a contractor so we have sheds full of expensive farm machinery.

I think I perhaps will remove myself from the group so I can't become upset over the comments and then if anything further happens, I can contact the police directly.

I have screenshot what has been written on the group to date, but as I've stated due to my profession I really am loathed to comment on the thread as the comments are fairly vicious and I don't want to be drawn into an argument in public.

@frillyfarts
Have any of the points I made earlier regards lost dogs been covered by the group? from what you’ve said they don’t seem to be getting any decent advise if they’re wandering about shouting.

I normally wouldn’t want to get involved with spats on Facebook but I actually think in this instance you really ought to. If only to keep your animals and property safe - not to mention the search group from breaking their stupid necks whilst stumbling around on your land after dark.

Something along the lines of moctodtensmum‘s post would work.
But I would be sure to include the original screenshots where you explained your horse had been injured.
I would then ask the admin of the group to close the thread to further comments.

@JKScot4 they've been on every form of dog lost FB page going - tens of thousands of shares. They have had drones using thermal imaging, humane dog traps, camera traps, they've left clothes and food etc out.

Personally I think it's been stolen - it's a good looking toy dog breed. They are spurred on by sightings but these sightings always seem to be in poor light or at a distance. The advice is the dog is no longer white due to being on the run for so long and so logically I think people are seeing hares at dusk and calling them in as the missing dog as NOTHING has been seen or picked up since it went missing. And logically if a pet dog runs off and it's owner is wondering about looking for it, it comes back? Unless it's scared of her.

YANBU op. I'd call the police if someone trespassed on my land and scared my animals.