For feeling bullied by the FB "missing dog" group

[frillyfarts]

A dog in our village went missing just over a month ago, and since then her owners have obviously been beside themselves looking for it. We live at the edge the village and have just over four acres of land running down to the river, a few outbuildings and some stables where I keep my horses and five pet sheep. We have dogs ourselves so I do understand their panic/desperation to get them back, our dogs are part of the family and I can't imagine what they're going through.

When he first went missing, we checked all our buildings and walked the perimeter of the paddocks - I messaged the lady to tell her this and she acknowledged it. Since then, there has been a significant Facebook following on the dog's missing page and all kinds of people have turned up to help look.

This has slowly become an issue as we've had strangers climb into our fields and spook the horses, trying to access our buildings (some of which we have valuables in) and walking around the paddocks in the dark which has scared me as I was alone and not expecting to see flashlights on our land.

The final straw was last night when a group spooked my horse who jumped the fence and injured himself, I had to get the vet out, he needed stitches. I feel I've been accommodating and I would always allow the lady (whose dog it is) to come and look for him as she is known to me, but obviously I don't want strangers walking about our buildings and scaring the horses at night. So I sent her a text this morning to say please make everyone aware they are not to enter my property without my permission - I explained the back story with the horse and vet.

This evening I have seen on FB that she has posted a long rant that "everyone in the village is helping to search for Bean and has been so cooperative, apart from one mad horsey lady who has sadly refused us any further permission to search for the dog. This leaves a missing piece in the jigsaw and he could be laying hurt in her field because of her own selfishness."

I feel bullied - I don't dare to communicate further with her because I feel it will be twisted against me and I feel like I'm been made to feel like the villain in this. I don't want to send her an angry message either for fear it will be screenshot and posted. She hasn't mentioned me by name or address so I don't think there is anything I can do? I just feel so got at, and so annoyed that I spent so long looking for their dog and I'm just been made to feel like the bad guy.

The joys of village life.
A dog went missing round our way about a year and a half ago and there's still constant posts about it on the village fb

Reply something along the lines of
'My land has been searched multiple times and I'm happy to allow future searches if they are organised with me before hand.
However one of my animals has now been injured due to people trespassing.
Anyone on my land without my express permission will now be reported to the police and will be held responsible for the cost of any injury to my animals or damage to my property'

I'd also attach a screenshot of the original messages where you let her know you had checked if you still have them

Definitely defend yourself. There are some small minded, jealous, bullies around who sometimes make up stories to cover their own backs. I wonder how there dog went missing? there was a case where the owner of a dog abandoned it in the middle of nowhere and pretended it had gone missing. They made it public and gained so much attention and sympathy that they then decided that they would up the game so tried to blame the local recluse who then became the no 1 suspect and was bullied relentlessly until he moved. Some people are extremely small minded.

I honestly think you are obsessed with me @KnowBetterDoBetter! Also please stop trying to change the narrative to suit your own agenda and opinion.

The second comment you are focusing on is not what I told the op to reply!

It was a separate factual statement... YOU are the only person who can't comprehend that fact FFS! Get a life...

Some people on this thread as batshit as the Facebook villagers!

@KnowBetterDoBetter again your assumptions are wrong, I haven't been drinking... I just wanted you to read correctly and realise your mistake of you wanted to jump on 😂🤣😂🤣😂

What? I don't much care about which of your posts other people found most ridiculous, and I'm not sure why you think I made any mistakes in finding a different post of yours equally ridiculous. Sorry you have provided us all with so much choice.

I guess I just like to be direct, and my comment of she's lied about this is also polite and factual... 🤷🏼‍♀️

Factual, polite?? You're calling her a liar...

I honestly think you are obsessed with me @KnowBetterDoBetter*! Also please stop trying to change the narrative to suit your own agenda and opinion.

The second comment you are focusing on is not what I told the op to reply!

It was a separate factual statement... YOU are the only person who can't comprehend that fact FFS! Get a life...*

Ok, I'm out!

Thank you for all the messages, it's comforting to know a lot of you share my anger.

For those asking why I haven't replied - I'm not very "active" on FB and I don't generally like to get drawn into conversations such as this in the public domain. I'm a solicitor practicing locally and for that reason I think it's deemed relatively unprofessional to get into a public fracas on FB. That and the fact that some people have commented on her post calling me "scum" and other such pleasantries.

I feel like it's some form of character assassination and although I probably will just block and ignore, it has really upset me as I'm a community minded person. I grew up in this village, my children go to the school, my husband drinks in the pub, my dad is the local farmer. I suppose because I specialise in agricultural law she thinks I'm being snotty as I had referenced trespass when I messaged her detailing the injured horse last night.

To clarify - she hasn't offered any apology, offer to pay vets or asked after my horse. Not that I'm after any financial rebuff- horses are flight animals and accidents happen but it's a bitter pill to swallow when I know they were spooked by the rescue party in my field rather than from a freak accident.

Just post on the group with moctodtensmum's response.

She's taking the piss and most people will understand that calm reasoned response.

What @moctodtensmum said. I have a bit of land and it would completely freak me out if unannounced strangers were there in the dark, let alone how freaked out the animals would be. Yet, I’d be more than accommodating if I knew in advance that they wanted to search.

@KnowBetterDoBetter, might be joining you shortly! 😜

The OP has posted here because of a spat on fb and now some of you are on here spitting at each other. Stop detailing the thread and sort yourselves out.

OP as others have said, the reply on the first page is a good one. I think the mob need to know that your animal was injured in their desperate attempt at being heroic over another animal.
Hope it’s sorted soon.

If it was not for the fact you are in a small village I would have ignored it. I think I would say something like:

‘I think that I might be the mad horse lady. Just to clear up I have searched for Bean and will continue to do so. I am an animal lover so I can imagine what Bean’s owner is going through.

However recently there has been people searching on my land in the dark. Last night this resulted in my horse being injured which required stitches. I am sure that in my situation you would want to prevent your much loved animals being injured.

I am also concerned that people may be injured when searching in the dark.

There is really no need for anyone to search on my land as I am keeping an eye out for Bean. I would of course contact Bean’s owner if I saw him. As I said before there really is no need to search on my land. However if people contact me I will see if I can facilitate this. I am sure you understand that I need to ensure my animals are safe.”

Personally I would not mentioned the vets bill. While it is valid it may get twisted to make you sound money grabbing.

Personally I would not want people on my land. They could get injured etc. So I would probably leave out the last bit about getting permission.

10 minutes between 2 completely separate comments, and my stalker is still convinced that although they misread they are right... Wtaf? 😂🤣😂🤣😂

OP, reading your latest update on your professional status I think perhaps taking the dignified high ground and not saying anything may be the best recourse. It will soon die down hopefully.

@ProfessionalBoss I know exactly what you meant, don't worry. My father is a farmer and was incredulous that they had employed the local keeper to scout farmland with his lamping torch. Luckily he didn't call the police but honestly you can't tell the difference between a dog search party and a lamper with a rifle - it makes your blood run cold really.

OP, given your update and how embedded you are in the village, is there a village gossip to whom you could give the truth to spread the word, or your Dad mention it in the pub?

@Tiredafterthisweek she did lie about what the op said? Calling her a f*cking liar, or a COW as some people have would be impolite....

Really silence is your best way forward. Any fuel to fire will just keep it going. As people have demonstrated on this very thread, they can fight over a couple of words. Don't rise to it.

As a solicitor you no doubt know what legal moves you could make if it gets worse.

I would reply, simply because I'd be concerned that if anyone does figure out that it's you, they might feel justified in trying to search on your land. I liked the first reply that was posted, it was polite and professional, I would probably reply with that. But not engage in any name-calling or threats, of course.

There are some extremely thick people on Facebook so I’d assume she’s one of them and set her straight - publicly- with the perfect response suggested.

Really silence is your best way forward. Any fuel to fire will just keep it going. As people have demonstrated on this very thread, they can fight over a couple of words. Don't rise to it.

As a solicitor you no doubt know what legal moves you could make if it gets worse

Totally agree ^^

I would reply (prefacing politely) copying your original polite request reply to her into the FB group under her comment, make it clear to all how unreasonable she is being by behaving as she is!

@frillyfarts honestly, even hearing the gunshots in the distance is enough for me. Thankfully my family don't shoot themselves, which is another reason I never know when it's happening. The neighbouring farmers take care of it, and will knock the door to advise we stay indoors for a few hours at a time.

As a fellow horse owner I completely sympathise. I can understand that they’re devastated to lose their dog but causing further problems isn’t helping anyone.

I’d go with @moctodtensmum’s reply, then leave the group, at least for the time being.