For feeling bullied by the FB "missing dog" group

[frillyfarts]

A dog in our village went missing just over a month ago, and since then her owners have obviously been beside themselves looking for it. We live at the edge the village and have just over four acres of land running down to the river, a few outbuildings and some stables where I keep my horses and five pet sheep. We have dogs ourselves so I do understand their panic/desperation to get them back, our dogs are part of the family and I can't imagine what they're going through.

When he first went missing, we checked all our buildings and walked the perimeter of the paddocks - I messaged the lady to tell her this and she acknowledged it. Since then, there has been a significant Facebook following on the dog's missing page and all kinds of people have turned up to help look.

This has slowly become an issue as we've had strangers climb into our fields and spook the horses, trying to access our buildings (some of which we have valuables in) and walking around the paddocks in the dark which has scared me as I was alone and not expecting to see flashlights on our land.

The final straw was last night when a group spooked my horse who jumped the fence and injured himself, I had to get the vet out, he needed stitches. I feel I've been accommodating and I would always allow the lady (whose dog it is) to come and look for him as she is known to me, but obviously I don't want strangers walking about our buildings and scaring the horses at night. So I sent her a text this morning to say please make everyone aware they are not to enter my property without my permission - I explained the back story with the horse and vet.

This evening I have seen on FB that she has posted a long rant that "everyone in the village is helping to search for Bean and has been so cooperative, apart from one mad horsey lady who has sadly refused us any further permission to search for the dog. This leaves a missing piece in the jigsaw and he could be laying hurt in her field because of her own selfishness."

I feel bullied - I don't dare to communicate further with her because I feel it will be twisted against me and I feel like I'm been made to feel like the villain in this. I don't want to send her an angry message either for fear it will be screenshot and posted. She hasn't mentioned me by name or address so I don't think there is anything I can do? I just feel so got at, and so annoyed that I spent so long looking for their dog and I'm just been made to feel like the bad guy.

I would just respond saying ‘Hi mad horsey lady here, I have absolutely no issue with people searching my land with PERMISSION so that I may deal with my animals and not be spooked by flashlights in the dark and my sheds being looked into by strangers. I am out on my land working regularly and always keep an eye out for the dog. If you would like to plan an organised search, great. But please don’t just appear on my land unannounced, frightening me and my animals. To reiterate, I have no problem with my land being searched with permission.’

I'm laughing SO much at @KnowBetterDoBetter for failing to realise that the comment of mine that people were hating on was I would screenshot your message to her and post that, with a comment about "if she can lie about this then you've got to wonder what else she is lying about... passive aggressive, and in the attempt to jump on and be one of the crowd, deliberately misread my factual statement... 😂🤣😂🤣😂

Say you were happy to be accommodating up until now but, as this cooperation has resulted in harm to your prescious animal and an expensive vet bill, you can no longer allow people uninvited onto your land.

I'd say something like that OP. I'd be furious if my horse was hurt in this way and I would not allow people back onto the property. I wouldn't trust people not to be using it as an excuse to nosy around your property for their own nefarious reasons. Just state the facts and say you will continue to watch out for the dog, but that you will not tolerate trespass any longer as it has caused harm to your animals.

I would post a reply staying the truth and facts and then delete yourself from the group

Maybe you could put up signs saying night vision cameras in use - people surely wouldn't openly trespass if they thought they'd get caught.
We have cameras up in our garden and they are hard to spot. We are looking for wildlife but they would also photo anyone wandering past.

If you know who spooked your horse, OP, I would send them the bill. I think it is appalling that someone would frighten and injure another animal while searching for another and they would definitely be paying for their mistake!

Start your own post advising trespassers have spooked your horse and required veterinary attention . Request identifying the culprits and post cctv footage if you have any...

I don’t think the woman has clicked that you’re the horsey lady that already searched! She’s obv out her mind with worry, but her message wasn’t nice.
I’d post on her page as others have said, nicely saying searching is fine WITH your prior permission to prevent your animals needing vet attention for panic injuries and you have already searched and continue to do so daily and hope very much the dog can be found safe and well.
You could put up posters of the dog with a note that I Search Here Daily for him?

NO, I'm not getting annoyed at all, and my point was that unless I phone my relative before arriving on his land, there is a chance bullets may be flying, because shock horror, FACT, farmers shoot predatory animals on their land at unusual times, FFS give your head a wobble 🤦‍♀️

@KnowBetterDoBetter how on earth you misread this as a threat is unbelievable... I think you're talking bs...

Why have you screenshotted your post that I quoted in my post? what else is it if not a threat? A promise? A warning? OP should say she's often out shooting, so everyone should beware of coming on her premises again, as who knows where the next bullet will end up?

Don't know - seems a touch disproportionate to me. And it surely won't help her standing in the community - it'll just upgrade her to 'mad shooty horsey lady'. But sure, I'll give my head a wobble.

A missing dog group in my area turned against the owner of the dog when he wanted to cut back the searches after months of daily searches and buying expensive camera equipment failed to find the dog.

@ProfessionalBoss is your bold button broken? The random bolding is very distracting. You also seem very worked up and angry, accusing posters of being the dog owner, accusing the dog owner of hiding the dog(?!) and talking about shooting foxes which has nothing to do with anything.
Chill out.

Don't know - seems a touch disproportionate to me. And it surely won't help her standing in the community - it'll just upgrade her to 'mad shooty horsey lady'. But sure, I'll give my head a wobble.

Well I suppose it's a promotion of sorts? 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

@ProfessionalBoss yes you are behaving a bit peculiarly and no I'm not in the least bit involved in any angle of the missing hound. I just think that a calm, polite, factual response is far more preferable to your inflammatory reply.

@KnowBetterDoBetter I think you're just trolling to be honest... Clearly I never said that the op should threaten anyone, I shared a FACT about farming and farmers land... Clearly you're twisting it to suit your narrative, but I still believe you messed up trying to jump on 😂🤣😂🤣😂 I'm still laughing!

@KnowBetterDoBetter I think she was trying to point out how incredibly stupid and dangerous it is to trespass on a working farm. Even where there’s a right of way you should always approach with caution. As it stands when you trespass in the dark without any warning there is a good chance you could come to harm, being accidentally shot is just one example of something that might happen in this situation.

@ProfessionalBoss, I think you need a little lie down.

TBH I would post on the group:
Anyone entering our property without notice will result in the police being called and charges brought for trespass. We have searched for the dog more than once, it's not here and it is not our problem. Random idiots trespassing and scaring our animals is not acceptable, so stay away.

@OwlBeThere I'll bold anything and everything I want... If it distracts you, then that says more to be about your reading and comprehension to be honest... It was a factual statement about what happens on land where livestock is placed, so if you can't see a link, then you definitely need to work on your reading skills, or rather lack thereof... And I mentioned that it has happened in the past for people to claim their dog was missing because they love the drama and attention... I may have implied that she could be lying with my passive aggressive "what else is she lying about" comment, but at no point did I actually accused her of doing it... 🤦‍♀️

@BonnyConnie thank you, someone sensible!

I would respond to her status with a screenshot of the message you actually sent her as she’s taken it out of context

ProfessionalBoss bloody hell, calm down. You've @ed me four times in twenty minutes, with increasingly hysterical posts. I know it's Christmas, but honestly, save a bit of booze for tomorrow

So their searching has now cost you money.

Honestly, I’d be tempted to ask if they wanted to pay your vet bills

@Tiredafterthisweek I don't need a lie down, but thanks for your concern... Are you OK? I guess I just like to be direct, and my comment of she's lied about this is also polite and factual... 🤷🏼‍♀️

@KnowBetterDoBetter again your assumptions are wrong, I haven't been drinking... I just wanted you to read correctly and realise your mistake of you wanted to jump on 😂🤣😂🤣😂

@KnowBetterDoBetter I think she was trying to point out how incredibly stupid and dangerous it is to trespass on a working farm. Even where there’s a right of way you should always approach with caution. As it stands when you trespass in the dark without any warning there is a good chance you could come to harm, being accidentally shot is just one example of something that might happen in this situation.

But would you honestly post this on a community Facebook group, when you're already being labelled as a mad lady? Surely you'd just diffuse the situation by explaining the injuries your horse has faced due to these actions, rather than jump right in with 'I may well shoot you, btw, so watch out'?

Because if I saw OP explain the latter, I'd be massively sympathetic and condemn the trespassers. But if OP just posted the former, I'd honestly think they were a bit unstable. Of course it could happen, but it's a strange, inflammatory and threatening thing to post in this situation.