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AIBU?

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Original poster

To find new year's eve abit depressing

205 replies

londongirl86 · 30/12/2019 15:48

I am probably alone in this. I don't blame anyone for having an amazing night out or for having a party at new year's. I don't mind that. It's great if you can! It's just new year's right from being a kid has seemed boring and depressing for me lol. My parents did drink and have a few people over as a child. It was fun playing with my cousin's. But I do remember trying to hide at midnight so Drunk adults didn't kiss me haha. I sometimes remember feeling super tired and wanting to go to sleep. As an adult I've not done the parties since 19/20. Due to work and then having my babies.

Also I don't know why but it gives me this feeling of the end in a negative way. The whole goodbye 2019. New starts. Yes people have bad years. But there's plenty of good things I don't want to shut the door on this year. If that makes sense. Then new year's Day just feels quiet and boring. Plus my partner's back at work on the 2nd of January. So it feels like it's also the end of our family time. It also is like a goodbye to christmas. Christmas went so fast this year. It was lovely and we've been in a state of late nights, junk food and lots of Tele. I have loved it. I don't want it to end lol.

I'm not a misery. I'm not bothered that people have fun. I just can't get into new year's and never have been able to x

OP posts:
Justasconfusedwithnumber2 · 30/12/2019 18:39

It makes me anxious too OP, I feel totally overwhelmed by a whole new year ahead and contemplate the year gone by. We always have a family get together which is usually OK, but this year I am 38 weeks pregnant and due to other family circumstances it's been called off. I am so relieved, and I think my family are too. Me and DH are putting Dc1 to bed at normal time, have a few nice nibbles in the fridge and may attempt a movie which would ordinarily be too long to get through. Chances are I will fall asleep though! I am feeling so much better about it already (and now I will go into labour 😂)

Original poster
londongirl86 · 30/12/2019 18:44

@EssentialHummus ah really that sounds really wild. I'm glad you enjoy it though. It's great that you do! It's probably helpful if you have the right company to make it fun.

@justasconfusedwithnumber2 ah I honest don't blame you. Being heavily pregnant makes you even less willing to stay up late and party too lol. At least you have got something really exciting warranting the new year celebrations. If I had a little Baba due in a couple of weeks id be all happy snug in bed welcoming in the new year. I hope it all goes well and the new arrival brings you lots of happiness xx

OP posts:
GooseberryJam · 30/12/2019 18:44

It's underwhelming as a night out. But for some of us it's a welcome opportunity to draw a line. 2018 was shit for me and 2019 worse. I'm all for moving on to a new year if it helps me feel like a fresh start.

BentNeckLady · 30/12/2019 18:45

I always go to bed with a cup of tea and sit and watch the fireworks out of my bedroom window. NYE doesn’t do anything for me at all and it never did - even when I was a raver.

colouringinpro · 30/12/2019 18:48

I hate it. The last decade has been hideous. And there's a number of really hard/sad things ongoing. I struggle to face a new year, let alone a new decade.

Youvegotafriendinme · 30/12/2019 18:50

I used to love it. Having a drink staying up with family playing board games and singing. Then 2018 my DM was diagnosed with cancer and given 6months to live. Sitting around listening to To DHs family going on about the amazing new year we all had coming made me so angry. Then 5 months later she died. Knowing I’m moving into the second year without her is making my already anxious self even more so. Me and DH are staying at home this year for the first time in 16 years and I feel better about it. Still hate it now though.

HisBetterHalf · 30/12/2019 18:51

Its a new year to look forward too- something which some don't have the privilege of

Louise91417 · 30/12/2019 18:53

Im with you on this...hate new year..always have..dont no why but i find its very sad..its like you are saying goodbye to something and you dont no whatHmm

Haggisfish · 30/12/2019 18:56

I hate it too. So now I go to this Ceilidh with dc who love it -I stay sober. Then a walk on new year day sets me up nicely. thefleeceinn.co.uk/whats-on/

lebiscuit · 30/12/2019 19:01

I don't like NYE either. This year seems worse, it's a new decade, I turn 40 in Jan, my career isn't really going anywhere and had a miscarriage last month following my 3rd (unsuccessful) IVF cycle. And I'm in daily pain and struggle to do every day tasks thanks to autoimmune arthritis.
A new year, a new decade and a new number at the start of my age means I've been reflecting what I've achieved in my 4 decades and it's not very much as I've not managed to have my own family and I haven't got a high flying career either. I feel like I wasted and frittered my youth away and now it's gone for good.

I'll be hiding under a duvet tomorrow night.

Piplette · 30/12/2019 19:03

I've never been a fan. Now we have children we have a wee "party" at home just us for their benefit which I enjoy.

I'm one of those people who loves starting a fresh notebook therefore I like the idea of starting things afresh in the new year.

The80sweregreat · 30/12/2019 19:04

I've never been a fan and lots of my friends feel the same.
My 20 something sons are going to parties in people's homes , but I don't envy them at all. It's all hype and I know 2020 will be just as bad as this year has been. I know I'm negative.

Dh had friends who had a party every year in the early 90 s and I dreaded it all. Over tired children , couldn't drink as I chose to drive home , was pleased when it was all over and back to normal.
we tend to just stay in and watch tv these days. I don't even sit up. Tape jools Holland ( which isn't even live ) to watch another time!
The only sad thing is going back to work and jan and Feb can be colder / depressing months till the nights draw out a bit and we can look forwards to Easter which is much less stressful than Christmas can be!

HeIenaDove · 30/12/2019 19:08

I dont mind the dark nights. I like the dark.

Fishcakey · 30/12/2019 19:10

I don't like NYE. It feels forced. Ok it's a new year. Get over it. I wish I could just go to bed but DH and DS like to stay up for the bells. At least nobody expects me to go out anymore!

Leflic · 30/12/2019 19:10

My years have all been great so far. Dreading the sad ones. I have two glide friends that have list parents and it’s terrible knowing their years will always be a bit sadder now.

On the other hand theirs still a bit of magic in the air. A good party with lovely friends, meeting new friends..can be a fun night.

tillytrotter1 · 30/12/2019 19:12

I go for a long wee at about 11:55 and return about 12:15 when all the random groping is over, hopefully!

Tumbleweed101 · 30/12/2019 19:12

I have a tendency to spend New Year Eve alone, just the way it has worked over the years with working patterns etc... however I've grown to quite like it.

I find being alone for NYE a chance to really reflect on the year just gone and look at what I want for the year to come. So I don't find it boring, but also I don't go for all the parties etc.

CantstandmLMs · 30/12/2019 19:15

I completely agree. Dreading it

MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 30/12/2019 19:16

Cannot wait for the whole thing to be over and back to routine. Look forward, not back. Spring will soon be showing signs of flowering - warm days and light nights to come. All lovely.

kinsss · 30/12/2019 19:16

Just another day, exactly like Christmas. It is all marketing and advertising to ensure we feel odd if we don't partake or have the so called Perfect celebration. Bollix for many really.

When we all wake up on NYD it will be the same whether we celebrated or not won't it?

ooooohbetty · 30/12/2019 19:19

I love it. Always have. It's the start of something and new hopes and dreams. Out with the old. Nothing forced about my jollity.

needanewnamechange · 30/12/2019 19:19

I don't actually get New Year's Eve . I mean yeah it's a new year but every month is a new month/week/day we don't stay up till midnight celebrating. That's how I feel and it also bores me that on the 2nd Jan everyone is on a diet / health kick and complains that January is so boring depressing.

Lazypuppy · 30/12/2019 19:20

New years eve we have friends over for drinks and boardgames. Kids go to bed about 8, so then just adults.

New years day is basically xmas day all over again for my family, but we do beef wellington instead.

Original poster
londongirl86 · 30/12/2019 19:20

@youvegotafriendinme that's awful. I'm so sorry about your poor mum. It's horrible and as you say it highlighted something that didn't need to be highlighted. New year's feels exactly that. Leaving behind our loved ones or pets that have passed. We don't want to and will never leave them in the past. Yet new year cruelly makes these things come into our head.

@lebiscuit I'm sorry to hear you are struggling. Nothing more devastating than miscarriages, failed IVF and loosing a child. It's the worst. I've only ever had an early MC but I remember feeling so angry at my body for taking it from me. Especially as my friend was six months pregnant when it happened. Are you looking into further IVF etc? I don't know whether this will help you but I have an accupressure mat from Amazon. Absolutely brilliant for pain. I have back and neck trouble since having my second child. The mat gas significantly improved it. I have got many people to buy them for their aches and pains and all positively happy. You are not a failure lovely! Life is just crap at times and doesn't come with instructions. We all do things when they feel right and yes things don't always work out. That's not your fault. Keep going as I'm sure you have done alot of good over the years XXX

@The80sweregreat there is nothing worse than overtired grumpy kids in someone else's house is there. We didn't go to my mums annual boxing Day party this year. Just couldn't be bothered after Christmas day. We were shattered. I also agree ahead of us now are two months of cold, dark, icy, wet days, probably with stomach bugs and cold thrown in. Mid march I am living for. Can't wait for Easter either. Favourite time

OP posts:
kinsss · 30/12/2019 19:21

If you are interested and can be bothered, this clip from author Marian Keyes re New Year is good.

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