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AIBU?

Is 26 considered young to have a baby?

308 replies

Niki93 · 27/12/2019 21:32

Hi. Im 26, been with my partner 4 years now. We bought our first house in 2018, both work full time and we just about get on in life fine. We arent massive high earners, but we arent idiots with money, we prioritise and save up so everything works out well. Without sounding at all egotistical, we’re probably abit more ahead of others in our friendship group in terms of maturity/goals etc. But that’s not to say we’re Any better than anyone of course, we just put our heads together, work well together and work hard for what we have really. And now with a baby on the way we’re deffo growing up even more and starting a new chapter with new priorities. Which we enjoy!

We announced our pregnancy in November. Im due in May. Its my first pregnancy and we’re very excited. Everyones been over the moon for us, its been lush. But, one thing ive noticed a few people mention is categorising me as a ‘young mam’. I didnt really think this was the case. Is it?

Im not offended at all. Im just abit curious. I considered 16-23 young ish. Not 26. I know a mixture of people who’ve had children at different life stages. My cousins 30 and still wants to wait untill she has children which is absolutely fine. Then my mam had my sister at 18 and still managed well untill me and my brother came along a few years later. I thought 26 was more medium average age?

Not really a AIBU questions, just asking out of curisosiry if people would class 26 as young to have a child, or not. :) whats your thoughts x

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SandyY2K · 27/12/2019 21:35

No. Not young IMO. It's a good age to have a baby if you're ok financially.

I think it's just that women are having babies later...but 26 isn't young in that sense.

AiryFairy1991 · 27/12/2019 21:36

I was 25 when I had my first and now pregnant with my second at 28. I wouldn’t have considered myself too young but statistically speaking it is younger in comparison to the average age now.

modgepodge · 27/12/2019 21:37

Very much depends on your upbringing and social circle I think. My mum was in her 30s when she had me, I’m 33 and most of my friends were in their 30s when they had kids, I was 32. My NCT group of 9 only had 1 in her 20s in it. I don’t know many people who had kids at 26 and it certainly wasn’t in my headspace at that age. So to me, yes, it’s young, though i don’t think it’s wrong obviously and I wouldn’t judge. But in some areas/social groups/towns it would probably be considered old!

I wonder if there’s any data about average age of mothers in the UK?

ShiningTor · 27/12/2019 21:37

It's a great age!
I'm 43 with an eighteen and seventeen year old, happy days!

Whiskeylover45 · 27/12/2019 21:38

Pregnant with my first at 27, had him at 28. So not not young at all imo

Lepetitpiggy · 27/12/2019 21:38

Weirdly, every female in my immediate family - my grandma, mum, sister, me and eldest dd have had our first baby at 26

TheHonestTruth100 · 27/12/2019 21:39

"Biologically" it's probably prime age to have a child. A lot of people now seem to have kids close to their 30s/early 30s. Wasn't like that in my parents generation. Absolutely not too young to have a kid though. Congratulations!

Obsidian77 · 27/12/2019 21:39

No, I don't think 26 is young, and if you're in a stable relationship and sensible with your finances then there's no point waiting until you're older.

Slat3 · 27/12/2019 21:39

I think anything under 30 is considered ‘young’ these days.
I was 21 / 23 married at 26 and definitely felt young! The mrs part at 26 is the weird thing for me personally as I feel v v young - totally mature with a mortgag, car, etc - but still young to have babies & a husband Grin
It’s all very individual & everyone has their own option.

bluesteakandcheese · 27/12/2019 21:39

Not at all! Everyone is different and has varying views on this. I'm 29, 30 next year, recently married and own my own house, and don't have kids yet. Some would consider my "time is running out" (I've actually been told I need to "hurry up because I'm getting too old"Hmm) but I just do not feel ready to have a child yet. Nothing to do with age - it is simply a lot of commitment and responsibility that I'm just not ready for at the moment.
People will always throw judgement at you but you need to do what is best for you- if you feel ready to have a baby then go for it! But to answer your question, I would not consider 26 too young to have a baby.
Best of luck with your baby adventure! X

danadas · 27/12/2019 21:40

No I wouldn't have thought so - 26 is around the age my friends began their families. I had two by 21 and would have considered myself a young Mum then.

The first sign I noticed of getting older was when my friends started having babies on purpose Grin

Camomila · 27/12/2019 21:40

Its younger than average but not enough that you'd be officially counted as a 'young mum'

I had DS at 28, and wasn't the first of my friends to have DC - other friends had their DC at 26 and 27 and there was a 26 year old and another 28 year old in my NCT group. I think what we all had in common is that we'd met our DPs/DHs at uni so had been together and feeling more 'settled' for a while already.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 27/12/2019 21:41

Biologically no- socially (particularly amongst my circle of City, middle classers) yes!

Lwg87 · 27/12/2019 21:41

I was 27. I was the first of my friends to have a child but don’t think I was particularly young. That said, the mums I made friends with at baby groups were all in their 30s. Hasn’t made a difference though - we are all still great friends and our little ones are 4 now. When everyone is new to it, it doesn’t make any difference how old you are ☺️ Congratulations

bluesteakandcheese · 27/12/2019 21:41

@Niki93 apologies, I didn't read your post properly like a moron - congratulations on your pregnancy! X

OhWellThatsJustGreat · 27/12/2019 21:42

I don't think so, I'm the last of my friends to have a child at 28, they all started at 23/24 except 2, one had her first at 21 and the other doesn't want children at all.

Selene28 · 27/12/2019 21:42

I got pregnant at 22, had DD at 23. The sonographer was actually pleased that I was having her at that age as my eggs were healthier. Her words, not mine.

Verily1 · 27/12/2019 21:44

30 is the average now so 26 is young

It’s a bit of a class divider- wc tend to have dcs younger than mc so expect mc mums at baby groups to look down on you.

firstimemamma · 27/12/2019 21:44

26 definitely isn't a 'young mum' imo.

27 is the uk average (or so I read!) so in that respect you're only a year away from 'the average'.

I had my ds at 28, it was a great age to have him.

Kaykay066 · 27/12/2019 21:45

I was pregnant at 21 had baby at 22 was trained nurse so had a career second at 25 then 2 more at 31/32
Congrats on your pregnancy and you sound like you’ve got everything sorted I wouldn’t worry about your age

Chickychoccyegg · 27/12/2019 21:45

i was 26 when i had my first, so was my sister, sil and best friend, so must be a fairly standard age (on my hospital notes it had old first time parent, so that put an end to me feeling young 😂)

Biancadelrioisback · 27/12/2019 21:46

I fell pregnant at 26 and had DS when I was 27. I didn't feel young myself but people told me I was...but I think it's because I look very young and act like an immature twat.

Niki93 · 27/12/2019 21:46

@bluesteakandcheese i cant believe people have told you your ‘time is running out’. Its so rude and dates😂 what goes on in peoples heads when they say this out loud! My mam had my sister at 18, i didnt come along untill my mam was 33 so decent age gap between me and my sister. It’s absolutely fine to not feel ready! Everyones got their own agenda. And thank you x

OP posts:
CFlemingSmith · 27/12/2019 21:47

Had my first at 23. It’s brilliant. I have so much energy and have ‘snapped’ back into the shape I was prior to kids. Also, when DS has finished school and moved out, I’ll still only be in my 40’s. However, I am financially in a good position (own house/business etc) and if it weren’t for those things I would’ve probably waited longer

userabcname · 27/12/2019 21:48

I had my first at 29 and was the first of my friends and the youngest in my NCT group! People definitely are having kids later than they used to. That being said, 26 isn't really young - I'd class a young mother as teens, maybe 20/21. I think 26 is a good age. Congratulations!

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