Is 26 considered young to have a baby?

[Niki93]

Hi. Im 26, been with my partner 4 years now. We bought our first house in 2018, both work full time and we just about get on in life fine. We arent massive high earners, but we arent idiots with money, we prioritise and save up so everything works out well. Without sounding at all egotistical, we’re probably abit more ahead of others in our friendship group in terms of maturity/goals etc. But that’s not to say we’re Any better than anyone of course, we just put our heads together, work well together and work hard for what we have really. And now with a baby on the way we’re deffo growing up even more and starting a new chapter with new priorities. Which we enjoy!

We announced our pregnancy in November. Im due in May. Its my first pregnancy and we’re very excited. Everyones been over the moon for us, its been lush. But, one thing ive noticed a few people mention is categorising me as a ‘young mam’. I didnt really think this was the case. Is it?

Im not offended at all. Im just abit curious. I considered 16-23 young ish. Not 26. I know a mixture of people who’ve had children at different life stages. My cousins 30 and still wants to wait untill she has children which is absolutely fine. Then my mam had my sister at 18 and still managed well untill me and my brother came along a few years later. I thought 26 was more medium average age?

Not really a AIBU questions, just asking out of curisosiry if people would class 26 as young to have a child, or not. :) whats your thoughts x

I had my first at 24 (he's now 15) Dt at 29.
Dt were saying last week how I was one of the young mums (40!) in their class and that some of the parents are as old as their grandparents. They said they'd prefer a young mum. I like you was financially OK (had a house, stable career and pension etc in place). I occasionally feel different to others my age (who are at a totally different point in their lives with toddlers etc) however I'd do the same again. I think it's more important to be able to provide for child physically, financially and emotionally than what age you are (they'll be 18 years old out there that would make better parents than some 35 year olds).

DS1 is 24 and has a mortgage and has been with his partner for six years. I'd be shocked if they chose to have a child younger than 30. However, I was married and had a mortgage when I had him just shy of my 24th Birthday and no one said I was young. Whatever works for you, although I am a firm believer in marriage.

In my social circle (mostly privately educated / Oxbridge / media professionals), it would be surprising and seen as young. Nearly all of my peers were in their 30’s when they had their first and many were nearly 40.

@formerbabe I totally respect that. Only 2 of their friends have recently had babies, whereas at their age most of mine had.
Think it's a lot more expensive to live now, too.

Ive already done some travelling, I graduated from uni a few years ago and got my self a decent job now as a risk assessment co-ordinator for the north east region of my organisation. Im not a massive party person, havnt been for a few years. Pretty settled snd happy with my quiet little life so its fit in well for us.

But i do have some friends who had kids at 20-22, then i have another set of friends my age very terrified of the idea of children tbis ‘early’. I felt i sat comfortably in the middle. Again im not offended or phases at all by anyone calling me a young mam, i just personally wouldnt have thought i was ‘young’ at 26, but it is very subjective and i was curious to ask other people’s opinions.

Some of my friends my age, their mothers said the same that they couldnt imagine their daughters having kids at ‘this age’ and that they need to develop careers first but, their daughters (my friends) do still live at home with their mams (which is fine) but that probably adds to why their parents think they aren’t capable yet. its each to their own and ive got a good secure job. Good quals and experiences. As has my boyfriend. But i just wondered on other peoples thoughts on this. :) Either way im fine and happy, doesnt bother me what im classed as :) x

At 26 yes you are a young mum. I say this as someone of Indian origin- even my family in India (where marriages happen from 24/25) now wait until 30 to have kids to allow themselves time to become established in their careers and save enough for childcare / education.

Congratulations!

I think you're the perfect age! And seem to be in the perfect position too.

I was a 'young' mum at 20. I'm about to have another, any day now, and am considered an old mum at 35! Actually on my midwife notes I'm circled as a geriatric mother!!!! Charming!

I think for women, whatever you do, at whatever age you do it you'll always be judged sadly.

All the best with baby x

@Hellofromtheotherside2020 thank you. I would absolutely not class you as geriatric! Geriatric is a extreme term to use😂. Hope your baby comes into the world safely very soon! X

I had my first at 21 and the “young mum” groups at the children’s centres were available for up to age 24/25 as a cut off.
I guess 26 is young if you are in circles where everyone has kids at 30+ but I would say 26 is a very normal, not particularly young not particularly old age to start having kids!

I had my first two at 26 and 29 with my ex-husband who turned out to be more vile than I could ever describe. Financially I had no worries but everything else was pretty horrendous.

I'm now 39 and 18 weeks' pregnant with my third. It will be my fiancé's first bio child. We are far less well off financially and I'm definitely more tired but at least this baby will have a happy home full of love and a daddy who respects his/her mummy. I'm far more secure in who I am and this time can do things my own way (home birth, for example).

The two stages of my life are so completely different but that's just the way it's panned out.

I was pregnant with DD at 27, had her at 28. Fell pregnant with DS shortly after turning 30.
No 26 isn’t too young and if you are in a stable relationship and financially secure then I don’t see the point in delaying (if you both want kids).
I was the youngest in my NCT group, and I am the youngest of my ‘mum friends.’ If all the mums of children in my DC’s classes were to line up in age order, I would be at the younger end.
I’m 36 now and although I’m in good general health I definitely don’t feel as though I have as much energy as I did 10 years ago and would probably find another pregnancy/early parent hood harder. Each to their own though.

Depends where you live and your social circle I guess.

Around here, it would be classed as young - I had my first at 29 and was one of the youngest in our antenatal class. Now expecting No. at 32.

I wouldn't have been ready at 26 but doesn't mean it's too young for you.

I was 27 when I had my firstborn. I was the first of my friends to have a baby and in terms of the mum-friends I have made since, most of them are 2-5 years older than me. No regrets though - I look back and think what a great decision it was to do it then.

I was 25 with my first and where we live most parents are having their first babies around 35-45 so I was younger than average here BUT in my home town amongst the people I grew up with I was averAge / older

definitely not young average, a good age tbh. I its quite harmful actually how were normalising pregnancy later and later,

I had my first at 23, most of my close friends all had their first child in their mid 20's.
I'm 40 now, I didn't feel too young at the time. Had my second and third at 31 and 35, didn't feel any different becoming a mum again at any age.

I started the adoption process at 30 & my 5 year old came home 2 years later, so I was 27 when he was born. I was considered ‘young’ as a single adopter, but not out of the ordinary. I was looking at 5 - 10 year olds & the social workers persuaded me to drop a couple of years (I was approved for 3 - 8 year olds) on the basis that I would stand out as young as a mother of a 10 year old & that might be uncomfortable for them, given all the wider issues as well. NB I am not saying I agree with that, but you don’t argue unnecessarily when being assessed to adopt!

This thread has been an eye opener. I didn't realise this was so dependent on social circles and class.

I've always thought of mid-to-late 20s and early 30s as average, but I live in a somewhat deprived, very working class area of Scotland. Many people I knew from school had kids between 16 and 19.

My parents, though, were much older. My mum was 40 when she had me (I was her third, had her first at 35). When I was little she was much older than most of her mum friends.

I had my third at 26. Felt young at 20 with my first. Normal by 25 for a lot of woman to have had babies

@Niki93 “geriatric” is a precise medical term for pregnant women 35 and over. It is used less today because people react badly to it, but there is no judgment inherent in the phrase, it is simply a statement of medical fact.

26 is young if you compare it to the average age that someone might graduate from university as it only allows for a few years to form a serious relationship, have a bit of fun as a child free couple, establish yourself in a career. You’ve done all that quickly and that is unusual. You probably wouldn’t be getting the same comments if you hadn’t gone to uni; people are saying you are a young mother within your social circle, which is completely true.

I had my first just shy of 26 (she's almost 16 now). I didn't consider myself a young mum but I suppose it depends on your circle of friends and circumstances. Me and DH had been together since we were 14 so we had been together 12 years when DD1 was born, married and had our own home for 4 years and both ha still time jobs. I also had 2 friends who had their first quite young (early 20's).

I now have 4 kids in total, the last being 3 who I had when I was 38 so I guess I was an old mum then. You can't win really.

I had my first at 26 and my second at 28 (now pregnant with number 3 at 39). With my eldest I was told I was young and this time a couple of people have hinted I'm a bit old. So you can't win.
Congratulations on your pregnancy.

No I think it’s the perfect age. I had my dc between 27 and 32 and I think it was perfect as I wasn’t “too old or too young”. Not that there isn’t anything wrong with being a younger or older mum but I think it is great being in the middle. You’ve had some time to be childfree and do young adult things without a family to think of, like start a career and travel. You will also be child free again for a nice chunk of time before you retire.

I'm 20 and I'm pregnant with my first (planned) baby

travellover Not judging, but I’m curious as to why you would deliberately plan to get pregnant in the middle of a degree. Would it not have been easier to complete your degree first?

Had my first at 24 seemed to find that when to see the midwife everyone e was either a lot younger or older than me which suprised me as I thought it was a pretty good ages. I was married (had been since I was 19) and had a mortgage