Is 26 considered young to have a baby?

[Niki93]

Hi. Im 26, been with my partner 4 years now. We bought our first house in 2018, both work full time and we just about get on in life fine. We arent massive high earners, but we arent idiots with money, we prioritise and save up so everything works out well. Without sounding at all egotistical, we’re probably abit more ahead of others in our friendship group in terms of maturity/goals etc. But that’s not to say we’re Any better than anyone of course, we just put our heads together, work well together and work hard for what we have really. And now with a baby on the way we’re deffo growing up even more and starting a new chapter with new priorities. Which we enjoy!

We announced our pregnancy in November. Im due in May. Its my first pregnancy and we’re very excited. Everyones been over the moon for us, its been lush. But, one thing ive noticed a few people mention is categorising me as a ‘young mam’. I didnt really think this was the case. Is it?

Im not offended at all. Im just abit curious. I considered 16-23 young ish. Not 26. I know a mixture of people who’ve had children at different life stages. My cousins 30 and still wants to wait untill she has children which is absolutely fine. Then my mam had my sister at 18 and still managed well untill me and my brother came along a few years later. I thought 26 was more medium average age?

Not really a AIBU questions, just asking out of curisosiry if people would class 26 as young to have a child, or not. :) whats your thoughts x

I had my first at 22

I think 26 is fairly young these days. My mum had me at 33 and was considered an older mother, now I think she’d be normal. None of my 30 year old friends have kids yet and most own property, have long term partners etc. - most of them are still going full throttle on careers, travelling and having fun.

If you're in London/the south east and fairly muddy class then I'd say yes it's young. I had DC1 at 28 and was one of the first amongst people we knew in similar situations.
Elsewhere I don't think you'd be seen as particularly young though.

Middle class not muddy!

I'm the first of my friends to have a baby and ages range from about 25-33. I'm 27. But I've been with DH for 9 years and when I'm not suffering from PND we get on very well. We own our home and while we're not well off we can manage just fine. You can't keep everyone happy, you have to do what's right for you.

I'm 26 and have a 5 year old and a 3 year old. I view myself as a borderline young mum

I had my first at 26, and my second a couple of years later. In hindsight it made it harder to maintain some friendships as most of my friends were still living their typical 20s carefree life whilst I had young kids, and now mine are primary school age and I have more freedom again they are in the pregnancy/baby stage. But I was very broody by then and, not to sound morbid, but this way I'll get more of my life being a mum than if I'd waited a decade. Health wise it's a good time to do it too.

I had my first baby who is now three when I was 23 and I was the oldest mum on the maternity ward one night.
Most of my friends with children are older then me. I am a homeowner etc though so that is probably why I was able to have children younger.
I feel judged by my school friends at times. It wasn't the norm to get married when I did, in fact I am still the only one from one of the schools I went to who is married.
Lots of them still live at home.
I was 26 when I had my second baby.

I’m 23 and often have people ask how old I am when they see my pregnant belly.

I can sense judgement until I (feel like I have to) explain we’ve been together nearly 6 years, have a mortgage, both have good professional careers, earn good money and are generally very stable.

Even then I’ve had some tuts and eye rolls.

Seems like the average is about 30 now.
I'm 29 and expecting my first. I feel a bit old because my mum was 19 when she had my oldest sister, so I'm obviously older than she was.
I got told I was 'running out of time' by a coworker when I was 25! Weird thing is she was the same age as me and also had no kids.

It is young nowadays.
I was youngest by far except one at toddler group with dd1 (me aged 24)and dd2 (me aged 27) With ds I was young 30s and similar age to a few first time mums.

There is a class element to it.
I still have a better education then lots of the older mothers I know. A bigger house. More expensive car etc so I think I am just lucky to be financially secure and I was also in private school for a part of my education.

No I don't think 26 is young.
When I was 26 I had a 11year old dd😂😂.
Had Dd2 at 38 at felt old.

I was a ‘middle class’ professional and had my first child at 27. None of my friends or colleagues of a similar age were parents (and most were mid-late 30s when they started their families).

I lived in an area of London with a trendy, artsy professionals bit and a run of the mill working class bit. I used to go to two different baby groups and I was the odd one out in both groups. In one group I was the oldest mum (most first timers were early 20s, even a couple of teens) and in the other I was by far the youngest. The next youngest mum was 37!

Similar age to me (when I had my PFB). I think it’s a very good age to have your first.

I had my first at 26, now just about to turn 28 and due my second in April. Between having my first baby and now I've got two friends who have literally just had babies but it was a lonely year not having any of my friendship group there to understand what I was going through. Nearly all of them now are still nowhere near ready and definitely think we're too young still. I would say it was an ideal age as I had a mortgage, savings and a dog so pretty tied down anyway! I'll do the travelling etc after when I'm in my 40s with more money! :-)

Most of my friends didn't start having kids until about 32+ so along us you'd be young. I think that's just because we all spent quite a long time in education so were still establishing demanding careers at 26. We were also probably fairly young in ourselves. At 25 I first moved out of a student house so definitely would not feel ready to have kids a year later! Definitely wouldn't consider you especially young on a national scale though. I imagine they just mean within your friendship groups.

I was 27 when I had my first baby - I was definitely one of the youngest at the antenatal classes. Most women were mid/ late 30s/early 40s. So yes I would say you are quite young to have a baby but that is not the same as being TOO young to have a baby - which obviously depends on the individual person and their maturity. I definitely had more energy in my 20s so I'm very glad I was fairly young when I had my children.

I think it depends who you ask. Where I live & grew up, we have insane teen pregnancy rates and most of my school friends have at least 2 children. So getting pregnant at 24, when my best mate had a 9, 7, 3 &1 year old definitely made me an old mum.
But I’m a working professional so amongst colleagues I was considered a very young mum.
It’s all relative
Many congratulations on your pregnancy

It’s hugely dependant on social circles and upbringing.

Those from ‘comfortable’ (middle class but don’t like to say that) backgrounds with professional jobs tend to wait till their early 30’s. Their 20’s are filled with weddings/houses/travelling/career progression and having a baby is viewed as a ‘silly’ thing to do.

^ I’m in my 20’s, in these circles and currently 6 months pregnant 👍🏻 However, I get away with it as DH is in his early 30’s and we are well set up.

A few of my friends do find it really weird though (and struggle to hide it) 👍🏻😂

I had my first at 29, started trying at 27 and my second at 32. I wouldn't have a third as to me that's too old now for me at 37 but it's a personal choice . I have some friends who had babies 21-22 and others just starting in their 40's. It's whatever works for you

Yes I agree with you @WorldsOnFire

My husband is 34 and I am 27. I got married at 21 years old. All my peers thought I was a tear away!

I had my first at 23 and my second at 26. I'm 36 now and my SILs both have small babies and toddlers it exhausts me looking after my nieces and nephews, I'm so glad I had mine younger. Lol at PP who said middle class mums will look down on you. I am, and was then, a married, home-owning, 4×4 driving, Waitrose shopper so middle class by most definitions ( including the traditional one based one my fathers and grandfathers profession) I don't think my middle class friends ever looked down their noses at me.

I should probably add all my baby group friends are in their 30s so I'd say it's definitely well below average but not especially young

I'd say 26 is a normal age to start having children, I did have my first when I was quite young though!