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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is 26 considered young to have a baby?

308 replies

Niki93 · 27/12/2019 21:32

Hi. Im 26, been with my partner 4 years now. We bought our first house in 2018, both work full time and we just about get on in life fine. We arent massive high earners, but we arent idiots with money, we prioritise and save up so everything works out well. Without sounding at all egotistical, we’re probably abit more ahead of others in our friendship group in terms of maturity/goals etc. But that’s not to say we’re Any better than anyone of course, we just put our heads together, work well together and work hard for what we have really. And now with a baby on the way we’re deffo growing up even more and starting a new chapter with new priorities. Which we enjoy!

We announced our pregnancy in November. Im due in May. Its my first pregnancy and we’re very excited. Everyones been over the moon for us, its been lush. But, one thing ive noticed a few people mention is categorising me as a ‘young mam’. I didnt really think this was the case. Is it?

Im not offended at all. Im just abit curious. I considered 16-23 young ish. Not 26. I know a mixture of people who’ve had children at different life stages. My cousins 30 and still wants to wait untill she has children which is absolutely fine. Then my mam had my sister at 18 and still managed well untill me and my brother came along a few years later. I thought 26 was more medium average age?

Not really a AIBU questions, just asking out of curisosiry if people would class 26 as young to have a child, or not. :) whats your thoughts x

OP posts:
duebaby2 · 28/12/2019 00:29

I was 22 when I had my first baby and 25 with my second. I look too young to be a mum apparently, didn't realise being a mum had an age. I have a friend who had her son at 16. Some people have kids in their teens and others have kids in their 40's/50's/60's but I really don't agree with labelling what type of mother you are.

Tigger001 · 28/12/2019 00:35

So long as its the right time for both of you nothing else really matters.

But I had my DS when I was 35 (I think) and I thought I would be classed as really old, but apparently not, some women are waiting a little bit longer.

I think 26 is a lovely age. 💐💐

Mummyshark2019 · 28/12/2019 00:38

It's the perfect age OP. Congratulations and enjoy your baby x

SummerBreezemakesmefeelfine · 28/12/2019 01:13

I had our eldest at 26. He is now 34 and I am 60. Our children both talk about having children much later, maybe around 40.

During my fifties I developed osteoarthritis in my hips and hobbled around for quite a while before having a hip replacement in the hip most severely affected. The other one will need doing in the next 2 to 3 years.

Looking back this disability would have been a nightmare with teenage children. I was so glad we had them when we were young and fit.

26 is a great age to start a family. I wish you the very best of luck!

cultmaskid · 28/12/2019 01:43

@WorldsOnFire I was lonely too: because my life was easier then parents younger or the same age as me and it was the same as 40 year old mothers. One thing I was told over and over again was I was so young, didn't look old enough to have a child.

I also felt at times the older mums who I have lots in common with were frustrated I had "achieved" this life so young and before them. Now that I am 27 and I have a second son I am more secure and feel less judged.

My life looks perfect from the outside in but we all have our struggles.

cultmaskid · 28/12/2019 01:47

@TigerOnATrain your posts are coming across as rude and a bit smug.

I'm glad you're not my mother. I'm sure I would have let you right down with my son at 23 and working a couple of hours a week to support the business I started with my husband when I was 22. You would be really disappointed we own two homes, two businesses...

Isithometimeyet0987 · 28/12/2019 01:49

No way! I’m 22 and my dd is 4 I got pregnant at 17 and had her at 18!

QuietCrotchgoblins · 28/12/2019 01:58

It depends on the stage you are at in life. You are settled, have a good job and want a baby. Go for it.

At 26 I was establishing my career as was DH. We would have shot ourselves in the foot having a child at that age career wise. 5 years later we were both were we needed to be for job stability, finances sorted and enough seniority to allow part time work for me. I was lucky, it all fell into place, many aren't.

Emeraldshamrock · 28/12/2019 02:05

It is a perfect age as you have a home and a longterm relationship.
Congratulations Flowers

AlphaJura · 28/12/2019 02:06

Had my first at 26. My sister is 24 and has had 3, first at 20.

Acheypelvis · 28/12/2019 02:56

Had my 4th recently. I am 27. Married. We both work

Theroigne · 28/12/2019 03:17

I had my first at 28, second at 29. I was one of the first in my social circle to do so, and one of the youngest in my antenatal group due to the area we were living in.

Dh and I were married, had done our degrees and were in good jobs. We owned a large house with three spare bedrooms in a leafy area and we had both partied hard and travelled. There was no point in waiting any longer for children really. I was happy to take a break for a few years as I wasn’t especially loving my job and we could afford to do so. We moved out to the country just before dd2 came along and so I guess a lot of boxes were ticked quite young. I acknowledge that we were very fortunate.

Now I’m 44 with teenagers, and have been back to work for over ten years - and retrained in that time. I really like having teenagers while relatively young; they are still hard work and demand a lot of energy! However, they are a lot easier than little ones so dh and I have lots more time for one another; I’d like to think we are heading back into more peaceful times after the wilderness of having young kids!

The only disadvantage is that I have always been the youngest of my ‘mum’ friends and quite miss having more friends my age. All those that do and live locally are still going through the primary years and we have less in common.

Numptywallice · 28/12/2019 05:32

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I was just 21 when I fell pregnant with my first. I had my second exactly 2 years later.

AravisQueenOfArchenland · 28/12/2019 05:42

I'm 28 with a 9 year old, so 26 doesn't seem young to be expecting. I know a few people that age (and younger) with two kids.

overnightangel · 28/12/2019 06:16

Given your attitude of calling your in laws “bellends” on your other thread @Niki93 I’d say you’re an immature mum if not necessarily a young one

theunperfectparent · 28/12/2019 06:23

Everyone has a different opinion on what young is. I had my first at 18 and last at 29 as I think 30+ is old to have a child

EmrysAtticus · 28/12/2019 06:25

I got pregnant at 26 and had DS when 27. Going by all our friends we were young as they aren't having children yet and we are now in our 30s. I am mc but live in a deprived area so found a mix of ages at baby groups although I was definitely among the youngest but there were others a similar age. Don't regret having DS when I did, it was the right choice for us. Am now enjoying my 30s having left the baby and toddler stage behind.

Obligatorync · 28/12/2019 06:25

I was 28 when I had my first 10 years ago and I was definitely on the young side in my area, first of my main friendship group, noticeably younger at the school gate etc.
But I think it depends on area.

Montsti · 28/12/2019 06:38

Congratulations!

In my social circles, most people have had babies in their mid-late 30s, a few in their late 20s and a few in their early 40s..

I had my 4 at 33, 36, 38 and 41...

AliTheMinx · 28/12/2019 06:52

Congratulations! 26 isn't ridiculously young, but to me it still sounds young. Out of my friendship group, I was one of the first to become a mum and I was 33. Most had children in mid-late 30s/early 40s.

AlaskanOilBaron · 28/12/2019 06:55

It's not what I would choose for my own children, but it's out of the zone where I would feel entitled to discuss it with them.

So yes, it's young, but not scandalously so.

PlatoAteMySnozcumber · 28/12/2019 06:57

26 is young to me (although not very much so) but I suppose it depends on where you live and your social circle. Early to mid thirties is the usual age I see. As long as you feel ready then who cares. Some will be younger than the average and some will be older.

AlaskanOilBaron · 28/12/2019 06:59

I was 30 when I had my first and around 6 or 7 years behind most of our contemporaries. When we go to school things for my oldest, I'm around 7-10 years younger than the other parents, which is rather thrilling.

PlatoAteMySnozcumber · 28/12/2019 07:00

Given your attitude of calling your in laws “bellends” on your other thread @Niki93 I’d say you’re an immature mum if not necessarily a young one

Oh God if that’s you then you do indeed sound like very immature 26 year old. Let’s hope you grow up fast when you have this baby.

AlessandraBumbrosio · 28/12/2019 07:02

It is on the young side in MC circles.