Is 26 considered young to have a baby?

[Niki93]

Hi. Im 26, been with my partner 4 years now. We bought our first house in 2018, both work full time and we just about get on in life fine. We arent massive high earners, but we arent idiots with money, we prioritise and save up so everything works out well. Without sounding at all egotistical, we’re probably abit more ahead of others in our friendship group in terms of maturity/goals etc. But that’s not to say we’re Any better than anyone of course, we just put our heads together, work well together and work hard for what we have really. And now with a baby on the way we’re deffo growing up even more and starting a new chapter with new priorities. Which we enjoy!

We announced our pregnancy in November. Im due in May. Its my first pregnancy and we’re very excited. Everyones been over the moon for us, its been lush. But, one thing ive noticed a few people mention is categorising me as a ‘young mam’. I didnt really think this was the case. Is it?

Im not offended at all. Im just abit curious. I considered 16-23 young ish. Not 26. I know a mixture of people who’ve had children at different life stages. My cousins 30 and still wants to wait untill she has children which is absolutely fine. Then my mam had my sister at 18 and still managed well untill me and my brother came along a few years later. I thought 26 was more medium average age?

Not really a AIBU questions, just asking out of curisosiry if people would class 26 as young to have a child, or not. :) whats your thoughts x

My daughter and her husband had their 4 children by the time she was 26. She is now 34!

Teateaandmoretea I might be, but I’m not sure how much that of a consolation that will be if I’ve left it too late to conceive. There’s also plenty of things that could happen in the mean time that would destroy my financial security altogether. Who knows? Security doesn’t necessarily increase with age in real life but fertility does decline.

Swings and roundabouts isn't it? Advantages and disadvantages of different ages. Fertility is personal though - I didn't have regular periods until my late 20s, I doubt I was more fertile in my 20s than 30s once it all settled down. But if it's the other way round you don't have a time machine obviously.... You have to do what's right for you and if you feel ready and secure enough that's all that matters.

I always think about a mate of DH's whose wife had a baby at 25. She wanted everything including big house in nice area that they couldn't ever actually afford. But if they'd waited 5 years and saved her salary for that time they could have and she's never been happy with what they have. MIL always goes on about how they struggled when they were young, but she chose to have a baby at 23 it might have been more normal but it wasn't compulsory - my own parents waited a bit longer. Contraception was invented in the 70s after all 🤷🏻‍♀️.

It's just a very personal decision that there is no right or wrong. But if you've thought about it and know what you want to do then that's the right way for you

I would say 26 in the bottom of the 'acceptable' age range, younger than 25 I'd consider too young. But I didn't have DC until my late 30s/early 40s which I know some consider ancient.

TBH I'd be more concerned about you not being married. You are making yourself financially vulnerable having a child with a partner and I would encourage you to return to work FT after having the baby unless you get married in the meantime.

Yes I have a 14 year old at 43, and think there is a good feeling of having time ahead for me, more than if I had had DC late. Whereas having them later, say teens and you are 50s / 60s, less so.

The young mum groups at childrens centres were for under 25s

My dc are close in age and I had my first at 26. I was young in my peer group.

Glad I did

I had my first at 30 and will be having my second at 31. I'm not old but since having my 1st I definitely don't feel very young any more! 26 is pretty average I think these days.