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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would this be rude when I have guests?

202 replies

Rose789 · 27/12/2019 20:01

Dh’s cousin, wife and kids are staying with us for a week. Lovely family we both invited them and are thrilled they are here.
The only thing is I am knackered after a few late nights and early mornings. We hosted Christmas Day for 14 people, yesterday was spent at family parties, today we’ve been out and about all day with them. I’ve reached my limit of people for the day and just want to unwind and retreat into myself a bit.
I told dh when we were putting the kids to bed that I was going to have a long bath with all my new stuff and an early night to have a chance to recharge. He thinks that would be very rude and that the guests will think that I don’t want them there if I disappear upstairs.

Sitting downstairs dreaming of the red hot bath I could be having with all my new bath products. With a new book I got and can’t wait to read and then put on my new comfy pyjamas, dressing gown and slippers. While everyone rehashes the same conversations we’ve already had and opens another bottle of wine.

Ps: I would 100% tell them what I was doing and why I wouldn’t just disappear.
There are 3 bathrooms so if anyone else fancied a bath and an early night they also could.
And all of the kids are in bed, and fingers crossed will stay there they are all as shattered as I am

YABU- it would be rude
YANBU- get yourself in that bath and have an early night

OP posts:
eaglejulesk · 27/12/2019 23:41

Ha, ha - I should have read the whole thread before commenting! Cousin's wife sounds brilliant - what a wonderful outcome.

MoaningMinniee · 27/12/2019 23:43

I fed them earlier and they know where more food and alcohol are, and one of them is my oldest dd and knows where everything else is. These are all twenty somethings anyway.

FeigningHorror · 27/12/2019 23:47

It would not have been at all rude even if you hadn’t had express permission from one of your guests!

Ihavethefinalsleigh · 27/12/2019 23:56

Not rude, ignore your DH.

MintyMabel · 28/12/2019 08:59

Again @spingly, perhaps step away from internet forums if you can’t manage to grasp how they work.

Willow2017 · 28/12/2019 09:48

The bath is rude. YANBU to go to bed much earlier though

How on earth us having a bath in your own house when you are knackered and are going to.bed rude?
Is op to stay dirty for a whole week?

katmandoo · 28/12/2019 10:03

I am like you I have to have recharge time but equally your guests might want to too, but they can't because they are in your house. It is also stressful for the one left downstairs entertaining, as my DH has form for this just disappearing for a couple of hours whiles I am left saying, no he's fine, honestly just a bath, yes he does take a long time, no I have no idea why, yes really he is okay...and repeat!
Best way is to say you need an early night you might find your guests prefer this as they can have some time on their own or go to bed early. Then get up early the next day and have your bath.

Willow2017 · 28/12/2019 10:48

Katmandoo
If you read ops posts her guest did exactly the same in another bathroom.

I can't imagine any hostess/host of mine feeling unable to gave a bath in thier own house! Surely adults don't need to be babysat every second they are there? Your guests are very rude.

spingly · 28/12/2019 10:50

Why on Earth are the guests very rude @Willow2017 ?

I wish people would actually read the posts.

Willow2017 · 28/12/2019 10:59

whiles I am left saying, no he's fine, honestly just a bath, yes he does take a long time, no I have no idea why, yes really he is okay...and repeat!
Well if you are having to say all this then.surely they are asking questions continuously?
If they know he has gone for a bath why are they asking so many questions? Why do you keep having to justify his absence?

MyMajesty · 28/12/2019 11:17

Great updates, OP!

There was nothing rude about your idea, anyway, though. Crown Smile Xmas Smile

itsgettingweird · 28/12/2019 11:23

I don't think it's rude. People need differing amounts of sleep and have differing levels of social contact they can handle.

As long as you say, offer other bathrooms up for others too polite to mention it and leave them access to snacks etc then I'd do it!

Palaver1 · 28/12/2019 15:43

Your blessed shes ace

mrswhiplington · 28/12/2019 16:12

It's not rude at all. I would tell you to go and enjoy yourself and not to worry about me.

Also jealous of the 3 bathrooms.Grin

Tessabelle74 · 28/12/2019 17:29

When staying with other people, I'd love the chance to head to bed early, most of the time I think adults stay up later than they want to just to be polite!

Tistheseason17 · 28/12/2019 17:33

Love that people are still posting negatively without reading OP's update! :)

Esspee · 28/12/2019 17:34

There should be some consequence to posting on a thread where you haven't read all the OP's posts.
Situation resolved but still loads of people giving out of date advice.
Suggestions welcome. e.g. banned for a week Grin

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/12/2019 17:42

Cousin wife sounds lovely

And fine to go for a wallow and early night

Entertaining is hard work even for people you love

And whoever said being on mn /rude Is insane

People can go on phone /forums even if guests

bonitabowbows · 28/12/2019 17:56

I won’t say my plans for hot bath and book I would just say am a bet tired tonight and need an early night , if after all your hosting they think it’s rude then they are being unreasonable,after they enjoy the wine they won’t be bothered anyways ,but I would only do it once in the week they r there .

Lovely13 · 28/12/2019 18:22

Personally, I’d be glad of the excuse to do the same. But I’m now quite old and no longer keen on staying in other people's homes. I like my space! So go for it!

56ers · 28/12/2019 18:35

As a guest I'd be happy that you were taking some well deserved time to yourself.

WatchingTheMoon · 28/12/2019 18:40

Glad it's resolved and can't believe how many people said it was rude. Do you honestly expect to live in other people's pockets for an entire week?

MrsBadcrumble123 · 28/12/2019 18:58

A week hosting is exhausting! Two nights is enough for me! YANBU to say you’re having an early night run your bath and relax

FelicisNox · 28/12/2019 19:00

YANBU.

Only selfish idiots who expect to be entertained 24/7 would think this rude.

You've done a heck of a lot, your DH is only moaning because he will have to run around after them instead of you.

Just explain you're tired and will be having an early night, tell them to help themselves to whatever they want, they'll be thrilled to have the tv to themselves.

icedgem85 · 28/12/2019 20:01

No!! It's fine. If it was just one night and a couple came round for dinner and drinks then sure, it would be rude, but they're there for days. Enjoy your bath!