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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would this be rude when I have guests?

202 replies

Rose789 · 27/12/2019 20:01

Dh’s cousin, wife and kids are staying with us for a week. Lovely family we both invited them and are thrilled they are here.
The only thing is I am knackered after a few late nights and early mornings. We hosted Christmas Day for 14 people, yesterday was spent at family parties, today we’ve been out and about all day with them. I’ve reached my limit of people for the day and just want to unwind and retreat into myself a bit.
I told dh when we were putting the kids to bed that I was going to have a long bath with all my new stuff and an early night to have a chance to recharge. He thinks that would be very rude and that the guests will think that I don’t want them there if I disappear upstairs.

Sitting downstairs dreaming of the red hot bath I could be having with all my new bath products. With a new book I got and can’t wait to read and then put on my new comfy pyjamas, dressing gown and slippers. While everyone rehashes the same conversations we’ve already had and opens another bottle of wine.

Ps: I would 100% tell them what I was doing and why I wouldn’t just disappear.
There are 3 bathrooms so if anyone else fancied a bath and an early night they also could.
And all of the kids are in bed, and fingers crossed will stay there they are all as shattered as I am

YABU- it would be rude
YANBU- get yourself in that bath and have an early night

OP posts:
PeonyTruffle · 27/12/2019 21:17

YANBU

I left my DH, DS and DSC at my PIL's earlier and went off for a couple of hours on my own. I love them all dearly but I had reached my limit of people and needed some time on my own before I lost the plot

Deminism · 27/12/2019 21:18

not rude at all. Guests are probably wanting to do the same

londonrach · 27/12/2019 21:21

Cant see how this is rude is you honestly tell them. If they normal human beings they understand and be grateful as excuse to relax themshelves with wine and book. Enjoy your bath op x

MintyMabel · 27/12/2019 21:26

Not rude.

Your husband can surely entertain them. Sounds like he cares more about their feelings than yours.

orangejuicer · 27/12/2019 21:28

Not rude at all. Tell them exactly what you're planning. As PP have said, they might want a break too.

fedup21 · 27/12/2019 21:31

Not rude at all!!

AnyFucker · 27/12/2019 21:31

Do it, do it, do it

spingly · 27/12/2019 21:32

@MintyMabel this isn't an OH bashing thread; plenty about so go find one?

londonrach · 27/12/2019 21:32

Op..i like the sound of your cousins wife. Enjoy your bath and book x

Would this be rude when I have guests?
munzero · 27/12/2019 21:37

I wouldn't find it rude and would welcome being able to do the same! Guests don't need babysitting 24/7!

Smashtastick · 27/12/2019 21:40

My DH nan has this hosting down to a fine art and I love visiting as I feel so welcome and at home.
The first time we went to visit she told me; 'do as you please, do not stand to attention on my account'

THAT is how it should be. I had the enforced socialising/ jovality and small talk when I visit other family members. It leaves me really stressed.

If it's your DH family they are infact HIS guests anyway.

doorbellringer · 27/12/2019 21:41

Best outcome I have ever read on an Xmas thread!
Ladies, please enjoy your mutual, well deserved relaxing baths and alone time and be thankful you have such like-minded, lovely relatives!
Amazing thread! 🎄🎉💞

EwwSprouts · 27/12/2019 21:42

I think it's rude at 8pm bevause that's most of the evening. After 9pm wouldn't bat an eyelid.

letsdolunch321 · 27/12/2019 21:45

Awww bless, enjoy your baths ladies. 😁

Bubblysqueak · 27/12/2019 21:51

Cousin's wife sounds like the most amazing perfect house guest! I'm guessing she'll be welcomed back!

So nice to hear a nice family house guest post!

MintyMabel · 27/12/2019 21:55

@spingly

I'll post however I like, wherever I like.

Maybe apply for a mod position if you are so keen on being the thread police.

CooCooCoo · 27/12/2019 21:56

Youve bloody fed and hosted them at Christmas, bash on with a wee hour or two to yourself!

CooCooCoo · 27/12/2019 21:57

Just saw she’s ran a bath for you WHAT A WOMAN 👍🏻

spingly · 27/12/2019 21:58

@MintyMabel just pointing out the obvious! Shouldn't need the police, just stop bashing OHs when is not required?

It's the season of goodwill to all men, after all. Grin

Tabitha990 · 27/12/2019 22:00

As long as you explain in the right way, they should understand. Christmas is exhausting at the best of times and it's miserable if you can't recharge!

PleasantVille · 27/12/2019 22:01

Have I got this right - the cousin's wife was obviously MNing, is that not a bit rude as a guest? Grin

what2do1979 · 27/12/2019 22:01

Not rude as staying a week. Tell them and go for it.

NoProblem123 · 27/12/2019 22:02

I would definitely do this and as a guest I would appreciate a bit of quiet time downstairs or the ‘permission’ to retreat myself.
Shows you’re comfortable with each other and that your home is their home. Do it, hosting is hard work !

thebakerwithboobs · 27/12/2019 22:04

But just imagine he's equally hosted, is equally knackered and thinks I'm having to carry on though....... of course very few on mumsnet would like to believe this possible, he's obviously not at fault somehow. He's now just allowed an opinion, which some MNers agree with.

Perhaps he is, in which case he could have said 'you do it tonight, I'll do it tomorrow!' But instead he insisted it was rude which it's not...and clearly from the update not even the guests think so.

Pixxie7 · 27/12/2019 22:08

As they are staying with you for a week go for it.

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