To be so angry at my family going to Glastonbury?

[rosess]

Brother and sister in law informed everyone yesterday that they got tickets to Glastonbury this year, and they will be going for the full duration. Which means they are going to miss out on not only their daughters 15th birthday which is on the Saturday of the festival, but also my parents 50th wedding anniversary party, which has been arranged since last year that we will be hosting a party for them on the Sunday. Their two eldest children who are 20 and 23 also bagged tickets along with their mates, so they also won't be there.

I told them all that it's not fair or responsible for them to have booked tickets, they all obviously knew it was their daughters/sisters birthday and my parents wedding anniversary. The whole weekend was going to be a huge family get together, however not anymore. My eldest niece even tried to argue with me about it, saying how it's the 50th anniversary, always been on their bucket list etc. I don't care, they are missing important family dates.

They have said they are celebrating their daughters birthday the weekend prior and that they are even going to attempt to get a ticket in the resale for her, although it will be tough to get, however if they do, they'll then take their youngest who is 12, and can get in for free. So potentially the whole family will be absent.

I'm furious. They have ruined the party already, they should of never of even thought about getting tickets, it's so unfair for my parents.

I'm tempted to message my brother, and beg him to not go, my mum is quite upset that he won't be at the party. Aibu to be so angry at them all?

Last night my mum said my brother rang her, explaining that he can't not go to Glastonbury as he's paid for glamping, which is non refundable, and is very expensive. He also said that he'll host a family bbq during the summer holidays to make up for missing the party.

Well, he shouldn't have booked it in the first place, seeing as he knew it clashed with his parents' party.

Hosting a bbq doesn't make up for the fact that he's been selfish. Plus, the family in America won't be there.

@ReanimatedSGB

Blimey!
Where did all that bile come from?

Sorry OP but YABU.

You can't expect to be able to command what others do. They have given plenty of notice that they can't attend your party on those dates. It's unfortunate, but you can't expect people to miss out on a festival just to attent an anniversary party.

@Nokiding they had notice of the party in August but booked the tickets afterwards. They are the ones being unreasonable.

People saying he’s BU, clearly have never been to Glastonbury.

Different people have different priorities

So my brother has known the date of the party since August, tickets went on sale at the beginning of October

And that’s why YANBU.

Fucking hell, everyone wanks into a chipped mug about “Glasto”. Sends even the most measured festival goer into a frothing fap.

Nothing wrong with Glasto, I’ve been but they said they’d be at the party then booked tickets elsewhere. How would you feel if you invited someone close to your party, they accepted then said sorry we’ve had a better idea?

People saying he’s BU, clearly have never been to Glastonbury.

He is. He agreed to go, and then found a 'better' offer so chose that instead.

Yabu, I can’t believe you begged him not to go .
Really? Grow up ..
and then missing their own dd’s birthday is none of your business

It’s just a party though. They’ve hardly ruined it if everyone else will be there.

Some self centred knobs on this thread. Hope they never plan a party and have everyone decide there is something better on down the line. Wouldn’t that be karma?

Well I would till say, following the update that it is entirely possible that OPs brother/SIL/nieces hadn't quite comprehended the upscaling of it to family reunion status, the significance and magnitude the event in the OP's eyes, or saying they would go along to something, a year hence being taken as a commitment.

Why are they only mentioning it 3 months after getting tickets? Scared?
Or has the details and expectations revealed over Xmas? Or do they just not see or speak to the family very often at all?

In any case, as everyone trots out on here "it's an invitation, not a summons". You can't make them attend, nor should you try to guilt them into it.

On the other hand, everyone else at the party will now know what a knob he and his wife are. Justice.

Namechange - I think hes being unreasonable because he was involved in setting the party date, knew family were flying in from overseas for it, knew it was being put that weekend to fit round one of his DCs, yet still after the event date was set, applied for tickets.

At the point he applied for tickets, he knew that getting them would mean missing the big family do that was being set around his family's availability. Even back in October, he didn't think to warn his family that he might not be free, so if flights hadn't been booked yet, the party could be moved.

Its her business they agreed to it THEN changed plans.
OP you have to accept this or change the date for the party.
YANBU

@lilgreen there’s also so massive drama queens .. it’s a party , not a funeral or wedding .
Get a grip

*some

@lilgreen
Hi. I realise this but they couldn't have been expecting to secure all the glasto tickets at that stage.

I understand it annoying when people change plans and in this respect he is being a bit flakey, but they will all have such a great time at Glastonbury, I couldn't ask people to miss out on this for an anniversary party. I do realise it's a bit unfortunate for the OP and have sympathy for her though.

Some self centred knobs on this thread. Hope they never plan a party and have everyone decide there is something better on down the line. Wouldn’t that be karma?

This imagine if the parents ditched their wedding bet there'd be all hell to pay.

People saying he’s BU, clearly have never been to Glastonbury.

No, I haven't. I have been to Torhout (when it still existed), Roskilde, Pukkelpop, Dour, Hurricane, Lowlands, Pinkpop and a few others. I've done big festivals across three decades. A big festival is just that, a big festival. You can't see 100 stages at once anyway. I fail to see how Glastonbury is so much more special than Roskilde.

This isn't just an anniversary party. These are elderly people and in all propability it will be the last time the family can be together before people pass away.

It’s a very important party to their parents. That should be enough.He is not just another party guest, he’s her son. I imagine she will feel very embarrassed as well as upset.

People saying he’s BU, clearly have never been to Glastonbury

No. It’s not my idea of a decent festival. I favour line-up over pretentiousness.

Doesn’t matter if it’s Glastonbury or a day playing golf. It’s deciding after being part of the agreed plan and date, to dump your parents’ important party in favour of something you prefer to do more.

If there's one thing I've learnt from this thread it's that Glastonbury ain't what it used to be. When did it get so middle-aged middle-class?

Some friends and I have been trying to get tickets for Glastonbury for years and keep missing out. We don't advertise it and we don't plan for going because everything that people say about tickets being like gold dust is true. Maybe this family have been trying to get them as well for years and assumed they would fail again?

If one year I am successful then anything else I've planned for that weekend would be jettisoned I'm afraid. Though to be honest as someone for whom the words "family event" is enough to bring me out in hives, I'd have been strategically working that weekend anyway!