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Original poster

DD kicked a child in the face

833 replies

OutlawTorm · 27/12/2019 14:04

Took DD (10) shopping for clothes to spend her Christmas money. She was trying on clothes in a cubicle when a little girl (aged about 6?) came along and bent down to look under the cubicle door. DD told her to away. The girl laughed and stuck her head under the door again. DD shouted at her to stop it. I tapped the girl on the shoulder and asked her to stop it as it was rude. The girl laughed at me and stuck her head under the door again. DD shouted and banged on the door. I asked the girl where her mum was and she stuck her tongue out and put her head back under the door. DD then kicked her in the face. The girl scrambled away, started crying and holding her face. I shouted at DD and asked the girl if she was ok and where was her mum (so I could go and speak to her!) the girl shouted “shut up” at me and ran off. I followed her, out of the changing room, into the main store, followed her until she went up to an adult and started walking over. The woman asked her why she was crying and the girl shouted at her to shut up. I walked over and explained that my DD had kicked her as she kept sticking her head under the door whilst she was getting changed. The woman said “well, now you know not to do that!” ... she apologised to ME and walked off!!!

DD came out of cubicle as if nothing had happened. I said “what were you thinking? You could have seriously hurt her” and DD replied “wish I had”.

She is currently under CAHMs for behavioural problems, suspected aspergers, worrying behaviours. DH thinks I’m over reacting as “even the kids mum wasn’t bothered” but I am! It’s not a normal reacting to being annoyed is it? Kicking them in the face?

OP posts:
VanyaHargreeves · 27/12/2019 14:55

Yes she kicked a younger child in the face which isn't great, but she was seriously provoked.
Yes you got REALLY lucky in the other Mums reaction, but all power to that Mum having a sane response in a world gone precious.

Spacebowlisback · 27/12/2019 14:55

It’s good practice for changing rooms of the future. I’d let it go. She told her numerous times.

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal · 27/12/2019 14:56

Your DD absolutely did the right thing. If anybody tries to intimidate her while she is in a vulnerable state she has the absolute right to defend her privacy.
I hoe the little shit did hurt.

WheresMyChocolate · 27/12/2019 14:57

I'm really shocked by the replies on this thread. Since when has it been acceptable to kick a bloody annoying child in the face?

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal · 27/12/2019 14:58

Also I agree with some PP you were about as much use as a chocolate tea pot here. You and the other useless mother hold more blame than the children

JeezyPeeps · 27/12/2019 14:58

I would expect my child to cover up and stop changing. Not attack a much smaller kid

I would expect the parent to deal with it much more effectively. Then the child would not have been put into the position that she had run out of options and had to resort to getting physical.

saltysally · 27/12/2019 14:58

You should have done more to help your daughter. Her privacy had been repeatedly invaded and you seemed to be doing more than to be nice to the girl than your daughter. I'm sure your daughter was really frustrated and felt invaded. It's you OP who should be reflectiing and remorseful about their actions. You owe your daughter an apology.

Cherrysoup · 27/12/2019 14:58

I honestly think the girl’s mum was right-served her right. Hopefully she’s learned a hard lesson.

Primrosepenny · 27/12/2019 14:58

I'm really shocked by the replies on this thread. Since when has it been acceptable to kick a bloody annoying child in the face?

Well..she will think twice about doing it again.

JeezyPeeps · 27/12/2019 14:59

I'm really shocked by the replies on this thread. Since when has it been acceptable to kick a bloody annoying child in the face?

At about the same time as it became acceptable to spy on other people in a changing room.

Straycatstrut · 27/12/2019 14:59

At your DD's age I'd have done the exact same thing. I'd have lost it with the other girl.

Wouldn't you if it was another woman doing it to you? If it was me I'd have tried to push the persons head away. But your DD is 10 with behavioural difficulties and the fact she asked more than once first - even impolitely is just the same as what an adult would do! you'd be shocked to see someone staring at you like that.

What would have done OP? just let someone stare at your naked bits? or be shocked and get cross with them?

She was trying to protect herself. She'd have done the same (hopefully) if it was an older boy or even a man doing this to her (I know obviously you wouldn't allow that to happen) but no one would even think to blame her in that instance.

Aaarrgghhh · 27/12/2019 15:00

Meh, she kicked a rude little girl in the face. The mum clearly knows what her kid is like and didn’t have a go at you. What I’m earth is there to be worrying about? I do wonder why the kid was alone near the changing rooms and the mum our on the main shop floor.

DragonUdders · 27/12/2019 15:02

Natural consequences, no?

Hollyhobbi · 27/12/2019 15:02

If this was in Ireland the child's mother would be suing you! And she'd probably get €30,000 for it too. Your daughter wasn't right and the other child's mother should have been looking after her!!

churchandstate · 27/12/2019 15:03

Meh, she kicked a rude little girl in the face. The mum clearly knows what her kid is like and didn’t have a go at you. What I’m earth is there to be worrying about?

Erm... having a ten year old who thinks it’s normal to risking breaking the nose of, teeth of or potentially blinding a small child?

redexpat · 27/12/2019 15:03

Good for your DD. And good for the other mother.

MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal · 27/12/2019 15:03

If this was in Ireland the child's mother would be suing you! And she'd probably get €30,000

😂😂😂

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 27/12/2019 15:03

I don't disagree with how the other mother handled it.

However, I would appalled if my DD had deliberately kicked a small child in the face and said that she wished she had seriously hurt them. I'm honestly surprised that anyone thinks it is OK. I can't imagine the same responses had it been a DS who kicked the child.

She does need to know that responding to a situation with violence is wrong. I hope CAHMS manage to help her with her issues.

TBH, you should have removed the child when it was clear that she a) wasn't listening and b) had no parent with her. I would have taken her to the member of staff at the cubicles as a lost child.

Baguetteaboutit · 27/12/2019 15:04

The six yo was annoying and you could have dealt with it better op to stop this escalating.

I think your dd must have been very reserved with her kick. As you say, she could have easily done some damage but she didn't - it was a warning shot.

The mum of the 6yo dealt with the situation sensibly.

Meanwhile, adults who call small children little shits are scum.

HairyFloppins · 27/12/2019 15:04

I'd have been half tempted to kick her in the face as well.

Hopefully she won't do that again.

LeNil · 27/12/2019 15:04

Wtaf with some of these replies. Kicking anyone in the face is not a normal reaction.

WaterSheep · 27/12/2019 15:04

Erm... having a ten year old who thinks it’s normal to risking breaking the nose of, teeth of or potentially blinding a small child?

But she doesn't think it's normal. She tried to sort the situation out by asking, then asking again and being repeatedly ignored. You make out like the daughter just kicked the child for no reason.

Aaarrgghhh · 27/12/2019 15:04

OP, it isn’t okay - as I think you can tell - for your DD to assault a child. You need to put consequences in place before she lashes out again.

No, what the op needs to do is actually parent when it’s needed. She could have easily protected her vulnerable daughter but chose not to. Easily could have stood in front of the door to stop the girl peering under. She chose not to which is concerning actually.

wanderings · 27/12/2019 15:04

I'm glad common sense is prevailing on this thread. So often the replies would be "you should have taken her home immediately, confiscated her Christmas money, and grounded her for a month...". I'm glad you didn't issue a draconian punishment to your DD.

The advice adults sometimes give to children who are being wound up by another child is "remove yourself from the situation". Your DD couldn't remove herself from this situation; she tried calling out; so she made it stop happening the only way she knew.

CarolinaPink · 27/12/2019 15:05

I'm amazed that so many people think it was ok for your daughter to kick a smaller child in the face in those circumstances, no matter what a nightmare the other child was Shock

I agree with you. OP. It wasn't ok. I feel bad for you, though, as clearly it wasn't your fault Thanks