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AIBU?

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Original poster

DD kicked a child in the face

833 replies

OutlawTorm · 27/12/2019 14:04

Took DD (10) shopping for clothes to spend her Christmas money. She was trying on clothes in a cubicle when a little girl (aged about 6?) came along and bent down to look under the cubicle door. DD told her to away. The girl laughed and stuck her head under the door again. DD shouted at her to stop it. I tapped the girl on the shoulder and asked her to stop it as it was rude. The girl laughed at me and stuck her head under the door again. DD shouted and banged on the door. I asked the girl where her mum was and she stuck her tongue out and put her head back under the door. DD then kicked her in the face. The girl scrambled away, started crying and holding her face. I shouted at DD and asked the girl if she was ok and where was her mum (so I could go and speak to her!) the girl shouted “shut up” at me and ran off. I followed her, out of the changing room, into the main store, followed her until she went up to an adult and started walking over. The woman asked her why she was crying and the girl shouted at her to shut up. I walked over and explained that my DD had kicked her as she kept sticking her head under the door whilst she was getting changed. The woman said “well, now you know not to do that!” ... she apologised to ME and walked off!!!

DD came out of cubicle as if nothing had happened. I said “what were you thinking? You could have seriously hurt her” and DD replied “wish I had”.

She is currently under CAHMs for behavioural problems, suspected aspergers, worrying behaviours. DH thinks I’m over reacting as “even the kids mum wasn’t bothered” but I am! It’s not a normal reacting to being annoyed is it? Kicking them in the face?

OP posts:

Lizzie0869 · 29/12/2019 12:58

My point really is that we shouldn't be too quick to judge the behaviour of the OP's DD, as there are SN involved. There's been too much demonisation of both girls on this thread, which is very sad.

I know that you can't really compare 2 children with ASD; actually in my DD1's case, she has SN but her behaviour is also very much affected by the fact that she's adopted. And she hasn't actually been diagnosed as ASD, though DH and I both have long suspected that she's somewhere on the spectrum.

As for the 6 year old involved in the incident described, she might have SN, but it sounds more like very poor parenting; children don't naturally learn how to behave, parents are supposed to teach them. Obviously it could also be both those things.

eveshopper · 29/12/2019 13:10

My point really is that we shouldn't be too quick to judge the behaviour of the OP's DD, as there are SN involved. There's been too much demonisation of both girls on this thread, which is very sad.

I have not done this at all. I'm judging the sick individuals who think a 6 year old deserved a kick in the face.

Whatever the reason, it's disgusting that anyone thinks the actions of the 10 year old were correct. Yes she was provoked, she may have ASD etc etc, but none of those things make it ok. They explain why it might have happened, but the cheerleaders waving their Pom Poms upthread and calling a 6 year old various names are disgraceful.

The parents on both sides are at fault. I can see why a 6 year old with no guidance, supervision or bound would push for attention. That doesn't make her a rat or a brat or any of the other earlier mentioned names. I can also see why the 10 year old potentially kicked the younger child, but the whole point t of the thread is that it's not ok to do that, even when you are 10 and potentially autistic. My very first post on the thread actually emphasised the need to make sure she knows it not ok, particularly In light of the possible ASD.

People who think a 6 year old deserved a kick in the face are sick. Whatever the circumstances.

PanicAndRun · 29/12/2019 13:15

There has been plenty of name calling and vilifying of the 10 yo as well.

eveshopper · 29/12/2019 13:26

@PanicAndRun

Yes there has. Neither of these things are ok.

This thread has been an absolute eye opener and it just makes me fee incredibly sad that so many people lack basic understanding of both 6 & 10 year olds. I don't know why it's a surprise though, neither parent had a clue about how to look after their own children.

PanicAndRun · 29/12/2019 13:29

I suppose I am guilty of having more sympathy/empathy for the 10 yo, not just because of her issues but also of the way her mother dealt with the incident.

RTFTP · 29/12/2019 13:32

Suspected....that doesn't come from nowhere.

It absolutely doesn't come from nowhere but it also does it mean we label children before they get a diagnosis.

My nephew is Autistic and his mother can not stress enough how important it is to get a proper diagnosis before people start labelling or self diagnosing children.

The child is currently not diagnosed as Autistic, she has behavioural problems and being assessed, the parent is concerned at her attitude towards this situation.

RTFTP · 29/12/2019 13:33

Does not mean we label children before proper diagnosis that should say

eveshopper · 29/12/2019 13:36

I suppose I am guilty of having more sympathy/empathy for the 10 yo, not just because of her issues but also of the way her mother dealt with the incident.

I feel for the 6 year old for the same reason. If her mother didn't give a shit about her in the shop, it's unlikely she gets the guidance she needs at home.

Irrespective of that though, by far the worst thing in this thread is the 'good' 'she deserved it' 'that will teach her' posts.

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