To ask whether these ‘man habits’ are really considered acceptable?!

[Vilanellexc]

At least a couple of times a week, DH will manage to miss the toilet and spray urine on the tiled bathroom floor or all over the toilet rim. He seems to be oblivious that it’s happened and I’ll then be left to step in a puddle of his urine when I go to use the toilet myself, or notice it all dried up and stained on the floor. At times I’m not sure he’s aimed at the toilet at all! We’ve had numerous conversations about this as I find it absolutely revolting. I’m normally the one who has to clean it up too as his own attempts to clean it up aren’t thorough enough (splashes of urine still left around as he can’t ‘see’ it!). It often seems to happen when he’s woken up in the night to use the toilet and is still half asleep, though there has been incidents in the day too.

This coupled with DH leaving his clothes crumpled up around the room or shoving his clothing in drawers without folding/hanging, crumbs and oil splattered all over the kitchen after he’s been cooking and loudly passing wind all over the house and I’m feeling totally repulsed.

Was chatting to a few friends about this the other day and the consensus was that this is normal for most men and I should just turn a blind eye to it and accept it! AIBU in thinking that these disgusting habits are NOT normal or acceptable and surely can’t be the norm for most men?!

It's not normal, your DH is an inconsiderate idiot.

However, unfortunately for people saying it’s not normal for men to make a mess, why are blokes public loos so minging?

I have come across many women’s minging public loos. Women seem incapable of not pissing all over toilet seats.

Would you also say it’s normal for women to make a mess?

It’s not a sex based problem. It’s a not giving a flying fuck about whoever has to use the facilities after or clean up problem...

I used to clean blokes loos and I can definitely say they are multiple times worse than women’s loos!

“ It’s not a sex based problem. It’s a not giving a flying fuck about whoever has to use the facilities after or clean up problem...”
Isn’t it? Do you think that the country is full of men cleaning bathroom floors after their wives and daughters?

Isn’t it? Do you think that the country is full of men cleaning bathroom floors after their wives and daughters?

No, because women are socialised to keeping their homes clean.

But when it comes to public spaces they are socially not responsible for, they can be equally as disgusting.

Men aren't more unclean or disgusting by nature.

I completely disagree. I (adult female) go to ridiculous lengths to leave the loo clean for the next person. If there’s bits of loo roll, or paper towel in the floor, I get myself another piece of roll/towel and pick it up so that I leave the place nice. I even feel daft doing it.

We once had a several meetings at work where the subject of men’s loos came up and there was a plan to improve them, but they still treated them like shit.

I have very rarely been into a disgusting women’s public loo. It’s something to comment on if it happens. My male family and friends are more likely to comment on a clean men’s loo.

To the pp that said women leave splashes of urine on the underside of the seat without realising. This is much more likely to be water from the flush than urine. Not an excuse, just physics!

How do women leave pee underneath the seat? I understand that hovering can leave dripson the seat....

My DH does everything on the list except piss on the floor. I've actually never been out with a man who isn't a prolific farter!

“I've actually never been out with a man who isn't a prolific farter!“

What if you say “Please don’t do that- I don’t like it”?

OK I need to advise against asking blokes to sit down for a wee because that sometimes results in an actual mini waterfall between the seat and loo bowl, cascading down the side to create a mini lake. I've got no idea how but it definitely happens.

OK I need to advise against asking blokes to sit down for a wee because that sometimes results in an actual mini waterfall between the seat and loo bowl, cascading down the side to create a mini lake. I've got no idea how but it definitely happens.

That's kind of what I was alluding to. The ideal for optimal usage with least mess is for the wee to be directed straight towards the centre/bottom of the toilet. With female biology, this is achieved by sitting down. With male biology, this is best achieved by standing.

The need to use a toilet carefully and clean up any mess is a separate issue, but I don't think some PPs have thought it through - that for a man to sit down to wee necessitates extra care to be taken and means that the wee is directed perilously towards the top of the bowl, under the seat or even through the gap between them, unless measures are taken to prevent this.

Think about if you're pouring hot water from a kettle into a mug - you would always aim so that the flow hits the middle of the mug rather than angling the spout to make the flow hit the side of the mug, half a centimetre from the rim.

All toilet users need to do so with care and consideration for others, but I don't see the need to proclaim that people should be shamed into ignoring their basic biology and adapting, just because yours happens to be different. I thought we were moving on from this now, as brilliantly documented by Caroline Criado Perez, among others.

You wouldn't demand that a very tall person unnecessarily stand on a chair and have to contort their arms and upper body awkwardly to change a light bulb, just because a petite person would find using a chair the most practical way.

I couldn't live with that

I am a man.

I would be concerned if you considered this acceptable and had such low standards.