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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask whether these ‘man habits’ are really considered acceptable?!

190 replies

Vilanellexc · 26/12/2019 10:25

At least a couple of times a week, DH will manage to miss the toilet and spray urine on the tiled bathroom floor or all over the toilet rim. He seems to be oblivious that it’s happened and I’ll then be left to step in a puddle of his urine when I go to use the toilet myself, or notice it all dried up and stained on the floor. At times I’m not sure he’s aimed at the toilet at all! We’ve had numerous conversations about this as I find it absolutely revolting. I’m normally the one who has to clean it up too as his own attempts to clean it up aren’t thorough enough (splashes of urine still left around as he can’t ‘see’ it!). It often seems to happen when he’s woken up in the night to use the toilet and is still half asleep, though there has been incidents in the day too.

This coupled with DH leaving his clothes crumpled up around the room or shoving his clothing in drawers without folding/hanging, crumbs and oil splattered all over the kitchen after he’s been cooking and loudly passing wind all over the house and I’m feeling totally repulsed.

Was chatting to a few friends about this the other day and the consensus was that this is normal for most men and I should just turn a blind eye to it and accept it! AIBU in thinking that these disgusting habits are NOT normal or acceptable and surely can’t be the norm for most men?!

OP posts:

DickDewy · 27/12/2019 10:16

Not sure about the anatomy of any man you live with, Cantdoleft.

Inhismemory · 27/12/2019 10:19

I don't think these things are normal. Neither my husband or my 3yo son do them.

Nanny0gg · 27/12/2019 10:19

My DGS actually use toilet paper to wipe the ends of their penis as they sit down to wee. No need to shake (and don't tell me that doesn't go everywhere too)

Cantdoleft · 27/12/2019 10:21

I am a man, and genuinely can’t get my head around how that works without making a load more mess than just standing up. There is no way everything empties properly sitting down. It’s not how things work.

A man sitting down to have a wee is just weird

FlamingoAndJohn · 27/12/2019 10:36

My DH manages to sit down to pee and has done for the last 20 years.
I’ve yet to clean up any piss.
It’s not weird.

FlamingoAndJohn · 27/12/2019 10:38

Plus, they must be touching the water in inside of the bowl.
How long is your husband’s dick that it touches the water? I’m guessing you sit down to pee, do you get water all over your arse too?

Aquilla · 27/12/2019 10:55

Lots of Mumsnetters married to very short men here.
Normal to do this occasionally, OP.

fantasmasgoria1 · 27/12/2019 11:11

Mine doesn't pee on the floor but he does fart a lot and chuckles about it. It doesn't really bother me because it's a natural bodily function, everyone does it and I'm not precious about it. He always puts his clothes away or into the laundry whichever is needed. He doesn't pee on the floor as far as I have seen, if he ever does he must clean it up! He is a much tidier person than me! But we are very clean but just a bit of untidiness!!!!!

Inhismemory · 27/12/2019 11:29

Lots of Mumsnetters married to very short men here.
Normal to do this occasionally, OP.

I would assume if my (not short) husband made a mess when he peed then he wipes it up himself because he's not a pig.

k1233 · 27/12/2019 11:33

If guys can't sit down to pee because their penis touches the bowl or water, that explains why it takes them hours to shit. They're obviously playing a dangerous game of keep the penis out of the shit, then having to tear the loo paper single handedly whist juggling their penis to prevent touch down...

DickDewy · 27/12/2019 11:33

There is no way everything empties properly sitting down. It’s not how things work.

What rot.

My dad has incipient bladder issues and has been told by his urologist to pee only sitting down as it empties the bladder more effectively and is better for the prostate.

Bluebutterfly90 · 27/12/2019 11:34

I dont think its a short thing.
As a short lady in a family full of giants, my brothers manage not to piss on the floor just fine.

PhilCornwall1 · 27/12/2019 11:45

I can't get my head around sitting down to have a slash, unless there is a medical need to.

It really isn't difficult to make sure you pee in the toilet when standing up!

FlamingoAndJohn · 27/12/2019 11:52

I can't get my head around sitting down to have a slash, unless there is a medical need to.

I can’t get my head around pissing standing up unless in a public toilet or needing to assert your masculinity.

DickDewy · 27/12/2019 11:55

Even a good aim when standing will create a fine mist of piss. Yuck.

Lucky for me, my husband does not think standing to piss at home is a barometer of his manliness 🙄

PhilCornwall1 · 27/12/2019 11:59

Having a pee standing up is asserting masculinity?

nakedelfscientistOfThigh · 27/12/2019 12:01

Neither My DH, nor DSSs leave pools of pee on the floor. I have not had to "train" them either. I think it's odd behaviour.

Equally, do not use their clean clothes or cashmere jumpers to mop up pee, that is frankly, unhinged.

Does your DH have an alcohol problem? Eyesight or even prostrate may be an issue. Can you talk to him? Possibly leave the light on at night too.

labazsisgoingmad · 27/12/2019 12:03

though its not nice and gross may i just say it can sometimes be a medical problem? due to diabetes complications my partner has troubled with his foreskin and that causes it to be difficult urinating. the only way to stop this is sit down like us women do

Cantdoleft · 27/12/2019 12:07

Since you have gone there, then yes, depending on the toilet I often have to hold my manhood to stop it touching the bowl - which is grim. Then stand up to wipe for exactly the reason you mention.

The day I can no longer by jeans with a fly or boxes with an opening designed to pee through I will start sitting down to have a piss.

Until then, despite any mans best efforts there will sometimes be sprinkling which will be cleaned up.

None of you advocates of sitting down have given any idea how these perfect men have a wee if they wake up in the night or morning with what is commonly referred to as “morning glory”

Maybe this just isn’t an issue for blokes who prefer to sit?

DickDewy · 27/12/2019 12:19

Blimey! I thought the fly on my jeans was designed to allow me to, you know, undo them. Seems not! 😂

And surely your morning glory needs encouraging downwards regardless of whether you sit or stand?

MerryDeath · 27/12/2019 12:23

it's not normal, it's disgusting, lazy, inconsiderate, many other things. my DP is the same and it is a source of tension in our relationship! if he cared he'd get a lot more of things that he wants from me.

DowntownAbby · 27/12/2019 12:27

YABU for saying these are 'man habits'.

They're disgusting slob habits.

PlanDeRaccordement · 27/12/2019 12:35

This is not normal even for a minority of men. My DH has never done any of those things except for the passing wind. I think everyone does that occasionally. He also notices mess and cleans it up without my having to ask.

TrueRefuge · 27/12/2019 12:44

God no wonder you aren't sexually interested in him. Let alone no respect for you, he has no respect for himself! Leaving his piss on the floor and fatting left, right and centre. Just gross.

I couldn't live with a man like that. Nice, polite, respectable men who clean up after themselves and apologise for burping ... These men exist OP!

TrueRefuge · 27/12/2019 12:45

*farting haha

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