"He's been" posts

[Lxx16]

Apologies if you do it but I cannot stand the "guess who has been to our house" posts. Is it just me that gets irritated by them? I am pregnant so may be my hormones but I have seen 5 on fb already and it's Christmas Eve, not Christmas Day! Also, I find them quite braggy and think people only do it just to show off how much they have spoilt their children. I hope I don't turn into one of them 😂🙈

"How would you know how much I've spent by looking at a pile of wrapped gifts?"

I assume you're not posting with the intention of how little you spent, and how modest your Christmas is?

No, you want people to know you've got enough cash to treat your kids because they deserve it.

As we've said, you can post what you want, but I guarantee you that at least some of your fb friends will be rolling their eyes at it. It's great that that doesn't bother you though. It's probably quite nice to go through life with very little self awareness.

Letmein - I post a picture of my presents because I take a lot of time wrapping them and do different themes every year. My friends do similar. That's why I have said they wouldn't laugh at me, because they do the same, plus they are decent people.

We all enjoy looking at each others gifts, and feel happy for each other. If I was boasting, I'd be posting pictures of them opened, or how much they cost, or on public social media. I do none of this.

I have plenty of self awareness. But again, I don't associate with nasty twats, so I don't need to be aware of what I "should and shouldn't" post online.

I'm the least braggy person ever, by the way. I'm disabled, I have very little money, we are a small and modest family. I don't go overboard. I just don't care what people think, because I know I'm not showing off, bragging or spending insane amounts of money.

Just own it people!

Used to have a fb “friend “ who did this at Christmas, birthdays and Easter. Floor to ceiling wrapped presents. Holidays are recorded with up to a hundred photos. But the post just before Christmas was an interesting repost about child mental health and how modern helicopter parenting is actually causing rather than solving the issue. I am fairly certain she hasn’t read a word of it since the “ how not to” describes her parenting method exactly. Most reading it will be thinking WTF. I have now unfollowed her.

"Letmein - I post a picture of my presents because I take a lot of time wrapping them and do different themes every year. My friends do similar."

I'm pretty sure that you spend a similar amount of time to everyone else on your wrapping. Unless you are very slow at it.

If your real motivation was to show your wrapping theme, you would put on a thoughtful photo of a single gift being opened by your delighted child.

Or set up a WhatsApp group for your especially interested friends.

But no, it's got to be a giant pile. Of course. To make people a tiny bit envious.

Yet the people calling you out on it are the twats apparently.

And just because all your friends do it, doesn't mean that any of your motives are noble.

I think the best plan with SM posts is to post photos you think will make other people happy. Not posts that will make you look good. Most people aren't interested that you have a posh house or that you have a huge pile of pressies. They might like to see kids having fun, family being together, cute animals always make me smile too.

Letmein - I'm so glad I'm not friends with you. You sound like just the type of person I don't associate with.

How on earth do you know how much time I spend on my wrapping? You don't. So you can't comment.

How do you know what other photos I post? Again, you don't.

How do you know how large my pile of presents is? Guess what? You don't.

Why would I want people to be envious of me? I am a wheelchair user, I have little money, I have a chronic illness, a tragic past and bucketloads of empathy for those who are in similar positions. There is nothing to be envious of.

Thank goodness we are all normal people and not the weirdos on Mumsnet who look down on every single thing that others do.

By the way, no one has ever "called me out" on posting Christmas photos. Again, I am friends with decent people.

Run along, now. Go and be righteous on some other posts. You are clearly lacking in something

Crisps - I disagree. I post photos that make me happy. Seeing as it's my social media and all.

"You sound like just the type of person I don't associate with."

The sort of considerate person who considers the feelings of other people before bragging on Facebook? It's a shame you don't know more people like me, some thoughtfulness might rub off on you.

" I disagree. I post photos that make me happy."

It is possible to do both you know, but I doubt you're interested. For me, this line from you says it all really.

Letmein - you don't sound considerate at all. You sound like the complete opposite, actually. Should other people consider me, then? Not post pictures of themselves standing up or walking, because I can't? Their baby photos, even though I'm infertile? Photos on holiday even though I can't medically fly?

Get a grip.

Don't be daft mrsenglish, none of the examples you describe are particularly bragging.

I find it poor taste to “show off” how many gifts your dc have received. It’s what adds to the stress of Christmas I think. My dd had a fair bit but nothing compared to others and it wasn’t about affordability it was about her not having the brainpower to possibly play with it all (that and I can’t cope with the mess!)

Nobody objects to others having a good time. In fact most people want to have a good time. Just most people don't need to take photos of their present piles for social media to note how magical and great their festive season is.

It feels a little like the "tree falls in a wood" situation. "Sarah and Mark wrapped presents for their children like millions of other parents every year, but if it isn't on Instagram and Facebook was their Christmas really magical?"

Dan bought Emma a lovely thoughtful present for Christmas, but if there's no photo of carefully stacked expensive gifts with a glass of fizz next to it and the caption 'the boy did good ♥️', did Dan even get her the present or should she LTB?

I absolutely LOVE seeing ‘he’s been’ posts. It has, never, ever, ever entered my head that they are bragging posts. They are clearly posts by parents who are bursting with relief at a secretive job successfully pulled off and brimming over with excitement about the joy to come in the morning and eager to share that relief and excitement with their friends. I look at those photos and the memory of my childhood Christmas mornings is visceral. How weird to think that it’s anything other than a sharing of joy.

My absolutely favourite thread on the internet is this 7 year old thread of Santa’s Been posts and most posters on it recognise it for the lovely excited post it is.

I find MN’s inability to cope with social media baffling.

People are free to post whatever the hell they like (in the context of the T&Cs of the site). If people don’t like seeing what others post, they should hide/unfriend them or quit SM altogether. Simple.

The 30 day block thing is particularly helpful this time of year.

Exactly. It says something when others try to control or mock what people post on their own social media. Very bitter indeed.

www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056839142

If you don't like the way other people use their own FB, then maybe facebook is not for you.

If you don't like the way other people use their own FB, then maybe facebook is not for you.

If you don't like threads that criticise those who brag on fb, maybe the thread is not for you...

It says something when others try to control or mock what people post on their own social media

Whose trying to control? As I said before people are free to post & people are free to judge/mock etc

"If you don't like the way other people use their own FB, then maybe facebook is not for you."

"I find MN’s inability to cope with social media baffling."

I love fb. You don't need to overreact with these things, just unfollow the irritating ones.

" It says something when others try to control or mock what people post on their own social media."

Who can possibly control what you post on your own sm, or even try? Mock, yes.

Then I'm free to mock you for not knowing how to unfollow someone on FB or because you add people you clearly find irritating.

Personally I don’t mock my friends.

So if I found myself in a position where I felt like doing that, based on someone’s FB posts, I’d unfriend/hide them rather than be that person.

Me too, Laurie. I don't have 500 friends on FB though, just family and real friends

I tend to just assume they’re excited tbh.

God forbid anyone is excited on Christmas Eve.