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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be uncomfortable around topless sunbathers?

165 replies

corgo · 22/12/2019 14:27

Went away for a bit of winter sun in a Spanish island. First day there, we were sat at a table - two middle aged women and her teenage DS and two young DC pull up loungers right near us. One woman proceeds to whip her bikini off - has been topless for hours now, walking round, up to the bar, swimming etc.

She’s the only one doing it and it’s a very family orientated resort, seems weird to do it around her teenage DS! It’s not 18-30 territory (and I’m in that bracket, not an old prude!).

Aibu to feel uncomfortable??

OP posts:
lifeisgoodagain · 22/12/2019 15:33

Just don't go to Germany, it's perfectly acceptable in swimming pools and spas to be completely naked and nobody bats an eyelid. It's surprisingly liberating, all body shapes, men and women. Personally I wouldn't walk up to the bar topless but sunbathing is fine (and I'm older!)

SpoonBlender · 22/12/2019 15:35

Shoved in your face? She's presumably minimum ten feet away from you! You're being oversensitive.

That said, topless is generally regarded as okay for the beach, not for elsewhere like bars and restaurants.

BloodyCats · 22/12/2019 15:37

It makes me feel uncomfortable but I know this is my problem.

Havaina · 22/12/2019 15:48

Interestingly, I think only small chested women can get away with sunbathing topless!

By 'small-chested' I bet you actually mean 'perky' and 'young'

YABU as I think you're ageist.

An who cares if you're uncomfortable? Stop gawking at them.

loutypips · 22/12/2019 15:50

If you're in the canaries I'm surprised you've only seen one pair of boobs. Most hotels/beaches have nudist sections. If boobs offend you, definitely don't go to fuerteventura! There's lots of nudity there. Confused

Keepmewarm · 22/12/2019 16:05

‘SO many other places to sit...’

And so many other places to look.

I would cover up to go to the bar

LaurieMarlow · 22/12/2019 16:09

but having a pair of boobs shoved in my face when I looked up from my book was very off putting

Ok OP. How far from your face were they actually.

BlaueLagune · 22/12/2019 16:12

it's perfectly acceptable in swimming pools and spas to be completely naked and nobody bats an eyelid. It's surprisingly liberating

Not for me, I manage to drape a towel over me so I cover the main "bits".

The thing that makes me laugh is the Claudiustherme in Cologne - which has a nudist section - and a cable car going over the top of it. Which came first?

damnthatanxiety · 22/12/2019 16:14

I know it’s most likely my hang up, but having a pair of boobs shoved in my face when I looked up from my book was very off putting sad especially as there was SO many other places to sit..

Then go and sit in one of the other places perhaps?

beautifulstranger101 · 22/12/2019 16:15

Unless the woman is trying to get you to motorboat her, how on earth is she "shoving them in your face". She's lying on a sun lounger in a place where you can easily move away or choose not to look if it upsets you.
Noone is forcing you to continually look at her breasts, you are doing that yourself by the sounds of it. Why do you keep looking at them?

pumpandthump · 22/12/2019 16:18

Doesn't bother me at all and I don't see why it is an issue around her teenage son, unless he is uncomfortable with it.

ManiacalLapwing · 22/12/2019 16:19

She's the only one? So any overweight men or boys are wearing rash vests or t-shirts?

WorraLiberty · 22/12/2019 16:22

know it’s most likely my hang up, but having a pair of boobs shoved in my face when I looked up from my book was very off putting

You're getting silly now. Like she really shoved them in your face ffs.

It's not 'most likely' your hang up, it's definitely your hang up.

Dinosaursdontgrowontrees · 22/12/2019 16:29

I have sunbathed topless in Spain before (when I was i my early 20s before I had saggy tits Blush) i have no problem with it, each to there own BUT I think walking about like it and going to the bar is a bit much, I guess it shouldn’t be, men do it after all but it is.

Branleuse · 22/12/2019 16:34

I wouldnt be offended but id think they were a total exhibitionist if it wasnt a nudist resort.
Id probably be delighted if she was attractive, as would dp and my teenagers in all honesty, but would try not to be too obvious about it Wink

ooooohbetty · 22/12/2019 16:36

@loutypips I've been to loads of hotels and beaches in the canaries and not one has had a nudist section. Even in fuerteventura Shock

dirtyrottenscoundrel · 22/12/2019 16:43

Can’t stand it.
Why we only holiday in the UK.

LaurieMarlow · 22/12/2019 16:48

Can’t stand it

Why though? What’s so terrible about boobs?

GruciusMalfoy · 22/12/2019 16:50

It's not something I really care about, par for the course when you're on holiday in certain places.

Original poster
corgo · 22/12/2019 16:52

@Havaina - Not ageist, literally mean those with smaller boobs, regardless of sag etc. I’m in my twenties but wear a 32H bra, I would never be able to get away with topless sunbathing even if I wanted to - it’d be indecent exposure!

OP posts:
pinkhousesarebest · 22/12/2019 16:52

Nope not acceptable out of your own personal place. She should be picking up on the dress code. Topless sunbathing is a bit passé now anyway, is it not?

Stockmarketup · 22/12/2019 16:53

If it’s legal then I couldn’t care less.
Mind your own business or go to another beach.

Pfefferkuchen · 22/12/2019 16:55

She should be picking up on the dress code.

she is. It's absolutely fine in Spain - and many other countries.

Wildorchidz · 22/12/2019 16:55

So how close were you to her?

CalishataFolkart · 22/12/2019 16:58

Why are large breasts less “decent” than small ones?