To be uncomfortable around topless sunbathers?

[corgo]

Went away for a bit of winter sun in a Spanish island. First day there, we were sat at a table - two middle aged women and her teenage DS and two young DC pull up loungers right near us. One woman proceeds to whip her bikini off - has been topless for hours now, walking round, up to the bar, swimming etc.

She’s the only one doing it and it’s a very family orientated resort, seems weird to do it around her teenage DS! It’s not 18-30 territory (and I’m in that bracket, not an old prude!).

Aibu to feel uncomfortable??

No, not you. Good for you.

I'm topless around DS14 lots of times. It's completely natural to him as I've done it all his life. He didn't bat an eyelid when our friend breast fed her baby when we visited them because to him that's what they're for.

I always sunbath topless but I don't walk around doing it. I always put the top on to go in the sea or too the bar.

I hardly notice when women lie on a sunbed top less etc but walking around to the bar etc I would assume they quite liked attention. I am very large of nork so have never sunbathed topless unless around a private pool. I remember as a teen loads of women of all ages being topless on beaches in southern France but not so much now. I wonder if that's related to the wave of religion in Europe. Either way I think its one thing to sunbathe and another to walk about. If a woman was breastfeeding I wouldn't bat an eyelid but just meandering around I'd wonder why she felt the need.

Given that most men have bigger boobs than I have (thanks obesity epidemic!), i don’t see whywomen should hide theirs, and men not?

@lifeisgoodagain

Just don't go to Germany, it's perfectly acceptable in swimming pools and spas to be completely naked and nobody bats an eyelid. It's surprisingly liberating, all body shapes, men and women.

Not just Germany. A friend went with her husband on a business trip to Holland. His opposite number and his wife took them out for a spa type day on the weekend and went in a sauna/steam room and the other couple removed everything before going in. She said her and her DH looked at each other, struggled and followed suit lol but said it was a bit of a shock and at first she didn't know where to look.

I'm easy about topless abroad but I think staying around the sun lounger and pool is better. Not keen on walking to the bar and sat for lunch with nothing on but hey...maybe we are prudes

It should be culturally appropriate. (I think why men have issues with women's bodies in some cultures is a whole other thread) I'd probs not go to the bar, but then I don't sunbathe! They are just breasts so Yabu.

I'm on the fence. I don't mind male if female being topless whilst sun bathing but not whilst wandering around.
Don't care how fab they look keep it for the sun lounger or towel then pull something on when you start walking about.

Yanbu, I don’t like it either and makes me feel uncomfortable but I realise that it is my issue. I would never go top less even in my 20s when all my friends use to, I wouldn’t want men staring tbh!

Not very common nowadays is it? Rarely do I see this on holiday. Used to be widespread in the 90’s with more out than in!

There is nothing better than swimming topless. I have fond memories of a summer in the south of France after A levels. I was more topless than er, clothed. A lifetime ago! Wouldn’t do it now though, but that’s a body confidence thing.

I don't have a problem with topless sunbathing or swimming but I do feel its bit icky to be in a bar or cafe with your baps out - same as sweaty male chests do.

Not very common nowadays is it? Rarely do I see this on holiday. Used to be widespread in the 90’s with more out than in!

I agree. In the last few years, topless seems to be the exception rather than the norm. Very different from 20/30 years ago when everyone was getting their baps out.

I also wonder if it's more awareness of skin cancer etc., as we've also noticed a lot more people are sitting in the shade or wearing t shirts or wraps, so perhaps people aren't as keen as laying out in the sun for hours like they used to either.

I always sunbathe topless abroad HOWEVER as soon as I get up to go to the bar, the loo, swimmimg , I put my bikini top on. It’s a bit weirdly exhibitionist otherwise

I find it strange and a bit funny that some people feel embarrassed or uncomfortable by seeing naked breasts on a beach or by the swimming pool in this day and age. I grew up in the 1970s/80s and in those days quite a lot of women would sunbathe topless on the Continent. My mother did it, and so did friends of my parents who came on holiday with us. I never found it embarrassing.
I myself never went topless on a beach or by the swimming pool but it never bothered me if other women did.

A previous poster mentioned people stripping off before going into a sauna/steam room. In some countries on the Continent this is completely normal.

Perhaps it's a British attitude to nudity?

I think I heard from someone that people strip off all their clothes when they use a public bath in Japan, but I don't know if this is correct or not.

YNBU to feel uncomfortable.

I'd feel awkward too. As it's a family resort, nobody else is topless and she's not putting her top back on to walk around, the woman is either incredibly lacking in awareness or is a self-centered exhibitionist.

I grew up in Southern Spain and the etiquette is topless on your towel or sunbed, ok in the sea, but you cover up to walk away or go into seaside bars. I have a G cup so never did topless, too self conscious, but my friends have and that's how it was done. I was young in the 90s and it was very common, but slightly less now.

I’d be fine with it, don’t really care but I also don’t go on holiday so it’s something I’m not going to come across any time soon lol.

I think topless on the beach is fine, walking around is fine and depending on where the bar is it’s probably okay to grab a drink and walk back to the lounger, having a meal is what stands out as odd to me, again I wouldn’t say anything to her but I’d probably notice and then nudge my partner or something, more of a raised eyebrow kind of thing. This is for men and women, your sex doesn’t matter but a sweaty shiny naked top half while having a meal doesn’t seem nice lol.

YABU. But I spent a lot of time in Germany and Scandinavia, where not just topless but also fully naked was common.

Very common in Spain. Sorry, you're going to need to get over yourself. I would steer well clear of German campsites if I were you too!

Grow up OP.

All those posters going on about how common this is in certain parts of Europe seem to have missed the point that nobody else is topless. I think that does make the situation more uncomfortable.

We used to see a lot of topless sunbathing every year in France on holiday growing up.
People do it less now, probably worried about camera phones.
I would probably feel very slightly uncomfortable but I wouldn't move or post on here about it

Its is very naff. Not a case of just breasts blah di blah. Naked breasts swinging about get a lot of male attention and its very tedious chatting to someone ogling a stranger. Very bad manners and luckily going out of fashion. It was a total pain in the 70s. Apart from anything else most adult bodies are not attractive , its not about body shame, just a little dignity. Genitalia are just body parts but I wouldnt want them male or female on display

I'm not sure what the issue is here?

I do it myself, to get a tan. It's not sexual or weird, it's just a pair of boobs.

Try it yourself