To think its ok that my 8yo is not dry at night

[Luna28]

My DS 1 age 8 is still not dry at night. I have tried everything but nothing works (alarms, lifting, ext.) and he is still wet every night. I know MIL will bring it up this xmas but AIBU to just say we are waiting for him to grow out of it?

Don’t want to panic you but when DS was 9 he confessed to me that he LOVED wearing Drynights and wetting his bed on purpose. I think it might be some sort of sensory thing.

My youngest DD was 6 the only thing that worked was taking dry night nappy off her going to bed as usual but covering bed with towels it took a week and she was completely dry I so wish I had tried this year's before

Should have mentioned, DS has Aspergers so isn’t quite “wired” the same as NT children. I doubt an NT child would have told me if this was so, or would have even liked it.

Jeez I hope MIL at least manages to have this “none of her bloody business” discretely enough that your DS doesn’t here. I have 2 autistic sons and one of them was wet until around age 13-14. We used dry nites nappy pants. He saw a urologist to rule out a number of biological causes at around age 10 but he just grew out of it in the end. So long as there is no medical concern and they are comfortable and have their self esteem intact (careful management of staying away from home etc.) then that’s all that matters.

It’s difficult for other parents to understand if they’ve not been through it themselves. I have a DC who has struggled with night wetting and one who is totally fine. Teachers told me it’s quite common to have a few in each year who have wetting issues on school trips but parents don’t discuss it, so everyone thinks it’s just their child. Ignore your MIL. My FIL was the same - judgmental. They should either try to help or just shut up.

Obviously that’s meant to say “none of her bloody business conversation and hear not here.

Am sorry, have not read the whole thread but it looks like you've had some good advice. Re: the mil - it's really none of her business. The only ppl that need to know are the people washing the bedsheets. X

My son is 8 and soils/wets self and wets thr bed I’m constantly washing bedding clothes etc I don’t know if he’ll grow out of it but working with continence nurse and he’s being assessed by Ed psych and waiting for cahms in mainstream school copes well but hates it. But I’m sick of washing sheets etc never ending

OPyes use drynites.
We used to double wrap the bed - bed mat, sheet, bed mat sheet. Then in the middle of the night you just strip & dont need to re-make.

We have seen specialists, tried alarms (woke everyone else but not DD) and desmopressin.
DD (10) still not dry. But much better than it was (4/5 wet beds every night including all bedding wet- that’s a lot of washing!)
Now wet every week or so.

I was told the MOST important thing is getting them to drink more in the daytime, then stop at 5/530.
Good luck OP. Tell MIL that it’s a medical issue, and not to be discussed. Unless she wants to discuss her medical issues over dinner?

DD is nearly 8 and not dry at night at all. Saw the GP and school nurse recently. All say nothing to worry about. Apparently 1 in 10 kids aged 10 not dry at night. We got her blood tests a few weeks ago to check all ok and nothing wrong with her. She's ok and knows it's not her fault and will grow out of it. As a pp said they make drynites up to age 15 and that size is regularly sold out in my local supermarket so it must be relatively common. Her beaver leader said there were 3 others her age on the camping trip that are the same. If he's been checked out and there's nothing else wring I'm sure it will sort itself in time.

Anyone that says you are unreasonable hasn’t been where you are. You are doing everything you can. Just ignore the hate.

My Grandson was 8 at the end of October and is only just reliably dry in the last few weeks. He was having drinks restricted after 6pm but GP said to make sure he drinks at least two litres of water a day, this has been difficult with school getting him to remember but since he has been drinking this regularly he has been dry. He has a 1 litre water bottle and knows he has to drink one bottle in the morning and one in the afternoon and is managing this.

It is no one else's business, but it does need addressing. I would buy cotton nappies. The reason I suggest this is that I used these when my kids were babies and they were dry almost every night at about six months - well before potty training. I think that feeling the dampness next to the skin is important for training the brain and the kids in disposable nappies don't get that feedback. Obviously most will learn anyway, but if they are not I think it is the easiest way to help them. If that doesn't work then ask your GP. He is getting to the age where they are likely to have sleep overs. It isn't really fair on him to have to worry about this.

I used an alarm for my son and discussed a treat if he could use it. I didn't pressure dry nights I just wanted him to respond to the alarm so that eventually he could recognise when he needed to wake. It worked really quickly. I also stopped him drinking dark colour drinks like blackcurrant cos that's what the specialist suggested. It's upsetting for you both but you can resolve it together.

YABU. Take him to the doctor they should be dry by 7.

Hi @luna28 My 9 year old son still wets the bed - we've tried with/without pull-ups to see if either helps, he would wee so much it would saturate the pull-ups and still wet the bed, it was so bad.. I took him to the doctors about 10 months ago and we were referred to a clinic. Every month we would go and were given tips on what to do, charts to record liquid in/out, an alarm which was useless as it wouldn't stay in place - and the whole time he continued wetting.
Anyway, about 4 weeks ago I saw an advert for Therapee bed wetting solution with loads of amazing reviews. I thought sod it, let's try. It cost £160 which is big spend for us, but I was desperate..... so far it has been worth every single penny. It is a combination of an alarm and CBT with video updates from the doctor who invented it. He has just completed 13 nights dry in a row, which is nothing short of a miracle. I feel your pain, good luck x

Google ERIC, a brilliant charity supporting children with bladder and bowel issues. Website has loads of information. Ignore mother in law. Good luck

Sorry INRTWT.

I wet the bed until 15. No one knew why. Turns out I have a rare syndrome which affects the amount of collagen in my body hence my bladder can't hold as much as others.

I also suffered umpteen UTIs as well. I ended up with alarmed mats so that when wet they'd go off to tell you.

It's also not your MILs business

I haven’t read the whole thread but are you aware that there is something in black currents that can make children wet the bed at night? Sounds bonkers I know but a friend was told this by her health visitor and once they cut out blackcurrant cordial the bed wetting stopped! Definitely worth a try

@Tanweazle37 interesting comment regarding the drynites pull ups. As posted previously DS was under enuresis clinic and we followed advice given, he became dry around age 8 but whether this was nature taking its course or interventions I don't know. However DS has since said to me that he could actually feel himself weeing but because he was wearing the pull ups he was warm and comfortable and just couldn't be bothered getting out of bed

My DS wasn't dry at night until he was 9.5. I wouldn't worry about it, I think it is very common with boys.

Lynsey what syndrome is that ? The collagen one? Asking for my DC.

My son was in his teens before he became dry every night and he spent a few years taking desomelt. We did all the usual things to try to help him but nothing worked. He just. 'grew out of it' in the end.

One point that comes up over and over is to cut drinks out before a certain time/before bed and ensure he's drinking enough during the day.

The reason for this is that the bladder needs to recognise what full feels like before voiding. Sometimes children are so busy enjoying the day they are drinking a few sips of a cup and never finishing a whole drink in one go so are dehydrated during the day which adds to bed wetting.

Suggestion:
Wee as soon as he wakes.
Drink one whole drink by his bed on his return.
Breakfast with another drink.
Drink at about eleven with snack.
Lunch with a drink.
Drink at about three with another snack
Drink with dinner
Last drink at about 5/6pm.
Wee before bed.

Initially watch him drink the whole cup of fluid to ensure he's drinking it all and not leaving most of it. Drinks should not be fizzy or caffeinated.

20 minutes after a drink, ask him if he needs a wee but don't encourage him to have a try. After a bit of trial and error you can help him learn what a full bladder feels like.

He should not wear nappies/dry nights etc during this time.

You might want to wake him at about midnight/before you go to bed to see if he needs another wee but try to phase this out over a week. Once he has this under his belt, his body should recognize the feeling of a full bladder which should wake him even in a deep sleep.

Being on a Christmas holiday with family backing this sort of plan could be a great chance to get him dry at night.

If it doesn't work, then a GP to investigate if it's actually a medical problem.

@luna28 my DS (now 16) had issues overnight and so we saw the school nurse. Before they suggested hormones or alarms, she recommended bladder training. This involved drinking 200ml drinks (I think 5 or 6 times a day) up to a certain time, avoiding fizzy and citrus drinks. The idea is they learn the feeling of a full bladder and emptying it during the day and then it helps at night. You might have already tried this but I can recommend if not. It solved his problem within a few weeks! All the best