To think its ok that my 8yo is not dry at night

[Luna28]

My DS 1 age 8 is still not dry at night. I have tried everything but nothing works (alarms, lifting, ext.) and he is still wet every night. I know MIL will bring it up this xmas but AIBU to just say we are waiting for him to grow out of it?

Surprised by the vote to be honest, it's more common than you think, especially for boys. They sell Drynites up to ages 8-15 so someone must be buying them.

Best thing to do is normalise it. Don't give it anymore attention than is needed so you don't reinforce it and don't be negative or worried about it either. He'll get there when he's ready.

Tell MIL to keep her nose out and that if she brings it up in front of everyone and humilates your son you'll rightly be fuming with her.

My DD8 is still not dry overnight. I’m not worried, I know it will happen eventually. More importantly she isn’t worried because I reassure her.

My son wet most nights up until he was over 8 and then suddenly it just stopped.

Lie to your mil. It's nobody's business and your 8 year old son probably doesn't want to be the topic of conversation.

My youngest is 5 and wears pull-ups in bed. She's embarrassed by it and terrified of her friends finding out. I tell her it's nobody's business and it's the one time she's allowed lie and deny if anyone asks! It's our "family secret" and she's happy enough knowing that.

If your MIL can't be civil tell her not to come. No one should be ridiculing a child for something beyond his control.

Get a referral in new year to paediatric eneurisis clinic. If Mil asks (why?) just say you don’t want to discuss or he’s under care of paediatrician. My brother was very late as was cousin can be hereditary. It does cause issues as they get older with School residentials etc

He will grow out of it. With my son, it helped to say no drinks after dinner time.

My son is 9, almost 10, and only just dry.

This issue I have to say, gets my goat! There's absolutely nothing a child can do to stop night time wetting, until a hormone in the brain kicks in.

If my mil got involved in this she would've been given shirt shrift! Talk about the quick way to give the child a complex and dent their confidence.

Stand up for him op. 'He's doing just fine, thanks, he'll get there' - and then rapidly change the subject.

Poor lad.

Short shrift, that is...

I used to wet the bed about 2-3 times a week until I was 11/12.

I saw an Eneuresis nurse every week, had alarms, medication etc but nothing made any difference and then it suddenly stopped.

I later went on to be diagnosed as having epilepsy and one doctor did query whether the bedwetting was actually a result of me having had a seizure whilst I slept (not saying that’s what’s happening in your case of course).

At age 8, and with the frequency it’s happening, I would definitely go to the GP.

How does she even know?

It's certainly not "very normal" but it is more common, especially in boys than people think.
What is important is that your husband (his mother, his problem) makes it clear to her that the GP has examined your son and given the appropriate medical advice, and that she (MIL) is not to embarrass your son about it.

I think you need to have it investigated. It is not usual practice for his age. Do you limit drinking before bed.

In my experience, parents are reticent to admit this, and actually it is fairly common.

No need to worry too much, I would say. The likelihood of a condition such as epilepsy is surely very small.

I'd see a gp in the new year and let your son have his say.

I was probably 12/13 before I was dry at night they tried everything, I found it very embarrassing.

As people have said there's a genetic element my mum and grandmother both had the same and my middle DD is 10 and not dry the GP won't start doing anything until she's a bit older with my family history and I'm happy with that as she's otherwise healthy.

I've met at least two other parents with similar and older age children so it's not uncommon.

I guess your Mil is worried about your child but shouldn't bring up in conversation.
I would though book an GP appointment,as for want of a better word-bedwetting at 8 is concerning. One of my siblings did bedwet till 13 and upon proper investigation had childhood diabetes.

My friends daughter only has investigations at 13. It is very very common. It is not unusual. As another poster mentioned maybe a lot of parents won't admit to it (and really it's nobodies business anyway) but it is very very common.

Like I said lie to your mil. If you are in her house and he needs to put on a pull-up tell him he can go to the bathroom with his own bag of stuff and nobody needs to know anything. Same with over nighters with groups. You can be guaranteed he wouldn't be the only child in the group wearing a pull up, and the leaders of groups are usually very discrete about it and ensuring everyone is OK.

He's 8. He's still very very very young. And until that hormone kicks in he has zero control.

This was me and it was never fine, it was always awful. Are there more treatment options?

Your school nursing team may do an enuresis clinic and are well placed to advise. No further advice really but it doesn't seem to be that unusual in boys of that age. Hope all works out - and also that MIL keeps her neb out and doesn't embarrass him.

As Sam said, it could be diabetes too, so that’s worth getting checked out.

As for your MIL. TELL HER it’s a medical situation, and it’s private - she is not to discuss it with DS or anyone else. If she’s generally nice, she’s probably just concerned for him and thinks you need to do more to help him, but if she’s not very nice she just needs to be told to mind her own bloody business.

Took my son to the GP when he was just over 9. Sounded very common in boys.
We got some tablets to help. By the time he was 10 he didn’t really need them anymore. Now 10.5 he’s consistently dry at night.

It’s really not unusual in boys even if it’s not the ‘norm’.

I would be concerned if it was me but then my 8 year old, 7 year old and 5 year old are all dry now so seems unusual to me.

My son is 6 and is 3 months In on desmomelts the hormone tablets and has now stopped wetting the bed. They told me that if the hormone hasnt kicked in the only thing that will work is tablets and thankfully they have x

My friend's DD wasn't dry until she was 9. Mum tried everything, alarms, drugs, special classes for parents, waking, lifting, fluid restriction.

Eventually she just suddenly stopped overnight.

That said, I would seek advice at this point, but it WBVU for your MIL to bring it up, especially in front of him. But how would she know?

By 8 I'd start to look in to it, as a pp said it's at the upper end of normal. I do remember my brother being very late though and alarms etc daily and he certainly doesn't wet the bed now as an adult. It's fine though to tell your MIL whatever you want, no need to cause extra stress over Xmas

My eldest ds was not dry at night at 11 or thereabouts. He had been dry at night for some years, but went backwards at about your ds's age, @Luna28 - and like you, we tried everything, including the hormones (Desmopressin) if he was having a sleepover or on a trip).

One thing that did help us was lifting him for a last wee at around 11pm-midnight. I know it's not what the experts recommend, but by lifting him, we managed to make the problem much more bearable - it went from every night to half the nights of the week, or a bit less.

We tried the alarm early on in the problem years, but without much success, but tried it again when he was about 11, and it did work then. I am guessing it worked because he was ready for it to work, so I would advise you to keep on trying it periodically - if you haven't tried it for a year, it might be worth another go.

Ds1 got over it in the end, and I am sure your ds will too - but I can remember how worrying and frustrating it is, so you have my sympathy.