To think its ok that my 8yo is not dry at night

[Luna28]

My DS 1 age 8 is still not dry at night. I have tried everything but nothing works (alarms, lifting, ext.) and he is still wet every night. I know MIL will bring it up this xmas but AIBU to just say we are waiting for him to grow out of it?

I was wet til about 13 (not what I'd call a late developer either as started my periods at 11!). I was on an antidepressant for about 5 years, I guess there weren't really many alternatives back in the late 70s. My mum was great about it, she was a late drier, and my nan was too so in the family clearly, and we tried all the stopping drinks by 5pm and to be honest it made no difference. I'm not even sure the tablets helped, I think I just eventually dried out.

Anyway, realise that doesn't help you at all @Luna28 but I just wanted to say thank you for caring about how your DS feel, it's really important x

I tried everything then a new GP prescribed medication. One week later he was dry. Wish it had been years earlier.

Really surprised by the vote. DS was referred to paediatrician at age 7(I think). Was prescribed basically the hormone you’re waiting for your own body to make, as he explained it. I didn’t bother at home but we tried it for 2 weeks to see if it worked, which it did. It was a great relief to him to know he was ok to go to a sleepover etc. We used occasionally on holiday where spare sheets were an issue. He became dry around 8/9.

bless my Ds was not cast iron until end yr 6 - used desmopressin for resientdials as did seem to help him....i was so concenred sent him with 2 sleeping bags and did the same for scouts...
and actually at 15 he had an accident as was so exhausted but seemed more blase..
apart from eric website which is fab- the best thing was removing the stress -from everyone.. he was dry during the day from 2! but at night 10-11ish....

It takes some children longer than others, and that’s fine. My DD wasn’t dry in the daytime until she was older than this, with no medical reasons found. She just grew out of it.

I think there’s a much more relaxed attitude to PullUps generally these days- maybe because they take the pressure off parents.

I’ve seen potty training kids more than once being in an inconvenient situation, such as a queue, asking for the toilet and being told by their parents “it’s OK- you can just go in your PullUp”.

I couldn’t imagine having done that with mine, but I did stop the Drynights when he told me he liked using them and he was dry very quickly.

Maybe it is normal maybe it isn’t. Either way I think you should be investigating more than you are. Why don’t you want to try medication? I bet your son is super embarrassed.

All medications have side effects and not all respond well, DS only used medication for sleepovers and trips. It only embarrassing if people make it so and why people think it’s so rare because of the judgement of others.

I haven’t read the whole thread but I spoke to the school nurse about DS who referred us to the local bladder & bowel team who were amazing, probably know more than a gp. He did end up taking the hormone but not for that long

To those saying OP is BU, or it's "not normal" etc - are any of you medical professionals? If not then kindly do one....

My DS was day dry at 2.5 with barely an accident since. At 6 I took him to GP as still not night dry. She said it's very common and wouldn't even investigate further until 7 at earliest as it's most likely to do with hormone production and is more common with boys. She did mention alarm but was dubious if it would even work with DS given that he's such a heavy sleeper.

I can see why people don't mention it. I happened to with a small group of friends when DS was about 4 and was met with "really?! My DC were dry at night two weeks after being dry during the day" type responses. Those experiencing it simply don't discuss it due to other's reactions/social stigma.

We've tried the usual stuff - he never drinks black currant juice, no drinks after dinner, and have tried to get him to drink plenty of water during the day - this is tough at school though when it's difficult to monitor!

My boy is 12 and still very wet every night. He wears pull ups but his bed is still absolutely soaked!! His older brother was the same and so was his sister. They were all under the local enuresis clinic for years but it made no difference. The older two both stopped being wet around the age of 13.

My Grandson struggled with this until 17/18 years old and was very worried as due to go to University. He was recommended Arm and Hammer toothpaste. Apparently one of the ingredients is a help. Well it worked for him. He was dry almost immediately and remained so ever since. He is 24 now and still using. Worth a try???

My friend’s son was the same. He was 10 when they took him to the GP. He took a hormone drug until he was 16, but it did work. At 16 he stopped taking the synthetic hormone as his own production finally kicked in. All very embarrassing for the poor lad.

My nephew was 13 before dry & he tried everything. As a year 6 teacher, taking class on residential each year, there is at least 1, usually a few who aren’t yet dry.
We deal with this in a matter of fact way - it’s a medical condition & no one takes any notice!
Your Mil needs a stern word.
Good luck OP & know that being dry will happen x

Ask your GP to be referred to the enuresis nurse/clinic. They will sort out a drinks chart and bladder training routine for him and give him a bed wetting alarm( a thin mat that goes under his sheet and triggers an alarm when moisture hits it.) My son was 11 and slept so deeply he didn’t notice he had wet the bed until he woke up. He was asked to drink plenty of fluids through the day with his last drink no later than an hour before bedtime. He had to train his bladder to hold more by not going to the loo as soon as he thought he needed a wee. He had to gradually increase the waiting time by a few mins at a time and take his mind of the urge. He had to pee into a measuring jug and record the volume and how long since his last wee. Obvs’ we only did this when we could quickly get to a loo. Took about 12 months and he was pretty much sorted then.

Sorry not read the whole thread so if this repeats what someone else said, sorry.
My eldest was the same, we were told 10% of 5 year olds and 5% of 10 yr olds wet the bed, we tried alarms, hit and miss. My son grew out of it eventually but we tried all sorts, firstly we stopped black currant juice and switched to orange and summer fruits. Blackcurrant can aggravate bladder. We dealt with the bullying at school. We restricted juice after 6pm. We bought loads of water proof sheets and double layered them and had second duvet on hand to quickly deal with it. It’s hard work and stressful. I hope it all resolves quickly for you.

Unless MIL is washing the sheets, its none of her business.

I wet the bed regularly at that age and still occasionally until I was about 13. I am grateful to my mom, looking back, for her total nonchalance about it. When I asked her about it later she said she had done the same. I was an extremely heavy sleeper (once famously sleeping through an actual hurricane) as a child, but once puberty hit my sleep patterns changed and the bedwetting stopped. My mom still sent me to uni with a plastic mattress cover just in case, though. ;)

The point is, no amount of worrying or stressing your son about it is going to be useful. I much recommend my mom's total relaxation on the subject and not traumatising your son by exposing him to other people's judgments. Tell his GM to leave him alone. If necessary tell her the doctor said that drawing attention to it would only make it worse so not to mention it to him.

My DN was like this he had the alarms fitted, tried waking him up etc it just didn't work and he would rip the alarm off. He was in the Huggies pull ups until he was about 8. The doctor then prescribed him a tablet and he didn't wet the bed anymore. He's now 13 and doesn't take them anymore and as far as I know he doesn't wet the bed anymore

@lynney88 - thank you for that. A few years ago my DC's Occupational therapist recommended that I look into Ehler's Danlos Syndrome as scores very high on hypermobility.

My youngest DS is nearly 10and is still wet at night. We've restricted his fluid intake for a good period before bed, he goes to the toilet before bed, he still wets. We have tried alarms, taking him to the toilet a couple of times during the night and also medication from the doctor. Nothing works. He occasionally has a dry night but more often not. He sleeps very heavily and just does not wake up. I am now thinking he may have a smaller than average bladder, I just don't know. We do not make a fuss about it but just hope he will grow out of it.

We had the same with my son. He attended all the clinics who prescribed medication and alarms, none of which worked. Earlier this year at 8 1/2 it just stopped. He's now been dry since, apart from 2 nights. It'll come. I know it's really difficult. Oh and do not let mil discuss. At 8 it's embarrassing for them.

DS1 took til almost 8 to be dry every night. It was just one of those things. We visited the GP who was convinced he would grow out of it and he really did; it just took his bladder a while longer than some others.

Mine had a couple goes with Desmopressin and then I bought an alarm that fits to pants - it put it on the pants then put pull ups over the top so bed didn’t get soaked. Worked after 2 weeks

Not unreasonable but have you had him checked if it is a medical issue. If nothing (hopefully) then it is just perseverance