To think its ok that my 8yo is not dry at night

[Luna28]

My DS 1 age 8 is still not dry at night. I have tried everything but nothing works (alarms, lifting, ext.) and he is still wet every night. I know MIL will bring it up this xmas but AIBU to just say we are waiting for him to grow out of it?

Some of the replies it’s understandable why it’s viewed unusual as many parents would probably not share in real life. I know with DS I would only of used the medication for one off events. DD would very rarely wake up to use the toilet in the night because she was producing the hormone, whereas DS could be lifted at midnight and then wet at 2 in the morning. He was also the only one who slept through the alarm. It was then I decided to do as much as possible to reduce any stress or embarrassment around wetting rather than finding a cure to something he was and did grow out of.

YABU. It's reasonable for you to be ok with it (and to convey that to your DS) but from your DS perspective it's not ok at all. It is humiliating at that age to still not be dry at night. It has all kinds of implications, including going away for school trips, sleepovers etc

My DS is 7.5 and still wets most nights. We limit fluid intake after 6pm, lift him at 11pm and he can still be absolutely sodden by morning. He uses drynites pyjama pants for 8-15 YO and they do a great job as he has a high sleeper bed which is a gig to change every day!
Spoke to health visitor and GP and both have said not to worry until age 10 plus as it's very common in boys.

It's normal. My DS was 11 before reliably dry as was his father.
It's horrible for them but in time your DS willget there.
DDs were dry before 2yrs old. I think this can be a boy thing

Your MIL clearly hasn't a clue about what is normal and her lack of empathy is shocking. My MIL is similar, so I know what it's like. People like that will never change and will spend their lives wondering why other grandparents have closer relationships with their grandchildren.

DS1 was 8 when he suddenly became dry at night. Up until then, there was only the rarest of dry nights and his pull ups thudded onto the floor like a canon ball every morning when he took them off. DS2 is now 7 and not dry either. Luckily he has zero interest in staying at his granny's house (I wonder why?), so we're spared the judgy comments. I'm not stressing about it. It runs (no pun intended) on both sides of the family. I remember going through the whole buzzer thing at night when my sister still wet the bed at 9 - I say I went through it because the bloody buzzer woke me every time and she slept through it. It didn't work. She just became dry when her body was ready.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/bedwetting/
NHS website says 5.
Some sites were directly sponsored my diaper manufactures.

@Emeraldshamrock

Thanks. Yes we are now totally dry and Pull-up free.

The only time she has been back in Pull-ups was during a bout of Norovirus that we all suffered (and frankly we could all have done with them then!)

Fortunately her discovering that two of her friends still wore them did not set her back too much and she quickly forgot about it.

Here’s the original thread in case it’s of use.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3730964-AIBU-to-just-let-her-be-DD6-night-routine-related?pg=1&order=

My 10 year old is still wet.Seen by urologist,GP,clinic.ERIC is a good website to show your MIL. We don't use the hormone tablets now although they do work for her she doesn't like them.It's getting better.She's less likely to wet if she drinks loads in the day.At your son's age she was wet up to 3 times a night and no amount of restricting drinks helped.If the hormone hasn't kicked in yet there isn't much you can do about it If you don't want to try meds.

I cannot understand why certain people cannot get this, you do not wet the bed at night because your body produces a hormone that decreases urine production. I haven’t woken for a pee since pregnancy 15 years ago. No amount of parenting can change this, even the alarm system tackles the triggering of waking and not the production of urine so not much help to deep sleepers. There use also is at a time when the hormone is about to kick in. The GP will help to rule out other conditions but as this usually regulates itself most take the wait and see approach.

I would take him back to the GP even though I think chances are high he will grow out of it soon.

However, definitely not MILs business

@Boulshired

I took my son to an endocrinologist who specialized in bed wetting in children. He recommended to us, no drinks after 6pm and to make sure he went to the toilet before bed. We did both and it definitely helped. He still had occasional accidents when he forgot and drank water before bed, but it did reduce incidents. The rest was wait and see though.

Pull ups can be expensive, but they are fantastic. They allow children to participate in certain activities with their friends, ie sleepovers, school trips. I'll bet there were plenty of kids years ago who simply didn't go because it would have caused embarrassment and disruption. They have been great for my 2 and allowed my eldest to finally transition from wet to dry at 8 with no drama. The youngest (7) is getting there and now has many dry nights, whereas eldest just went dry overnight. I suppose if pull ups didn't exist, I probably would have gone to the GP out of sheer frustration - all that washing. Buy I suspect the washing would have continued until my children's bodies caught up.

It's normal. DS is 12 and he's just recently become reliably dry at night. We tried alarms, desmopressin etc and had an ultrasound, nothing wrong. Specialist wasn't worried.

@milliefiori in what way is desmopressin not good for you?

There is a good reason pull ups come up to age 13 and that is because people buy them!

My DS is 13 and has been dry at night for 2 1/2 years now.

We tried desmopressin, but it wasn't a great success. We were told not to lift, as it doesn't work. We tried the alarm but that failed to wake him.

We encouraged day time drinking, did not give fizzy or red drinks, restricted drinks after dinner.

The main thing we did was just accept that it will happen when it happens and not before! We let him have his 'night pants' and we were all grateful for good night's sleep.

It helped that my friends boys were in the same boat, the eldest not being dry at night till age 14.

It is common, people just don't talk about it!

Thanks eveyone! I will make an appointment in the new year to see if anything more can be done however won't worry that he is still in pull ups for now.

If anyone can recomend any pull ups that would be appreciated? We use pampers which have been good but have started to leak every few nights

Prepare yourself to tell her it is not her concern, if he is dry at night or not.

Ds1 was 4, ds2 was 7 and ds3 was 6. I remember with ds2, being told that after the age of 7, it was worth seeing a dr for a referral.

@Luna28 - I use the Tesco Easy Fit Nappy Pants in size 6. DS(7) is quite small and slight and, so far, hasn't complained that they look babyish! Believe me, he wouldn't hold back if he thought this. I sometimes buy Drynites, which look a bit more grown up and I also used these for my eldest who loved Spiderman at the time and was happy to wear them.

I haven't had any issues with leaking from either of these.

The ones my daughter wore were called Dry Nites and they’re available in all big supermarkets.

The ages are on the packaging - They are gender specific and come in age 4-7 and 8-15 varieties.

They rarely leaked for DD.

I think the Pampers pants aren’t designed for children of that age and are meant for potty training toddlers.

It might be worth having the “is he wetting on purpose out of laziness?” conversation. At least just to rule it out.

A friend even once told me that some children actually enjoy the warm feeling of wetting a Pull-up on a cold night!

Whatever the case, it’s best to try and find out the cause before taking any action. I can only speak from experience of having the revelation of DD turning out to be a laziness wetter (at least at the end!)

Good luck!

He is definetly not wetting his pull up on purpose.

Thanks for the recommendations will look at drynites and the tesco nappy pants. We used the pampers pants because they seemed to be the same as baby dry nappies (which worked well) but he could pull them up.

My 10 and 12 years olds are still wet. Both been pk tablets for 4 years and 12 year old now on a second tablet.

Its horrible and i hate it but his consultant was at pains to assure me its normal and many children are still wet at this age.

My 10 year old is slowly growing out of it. It runs in the family although his brother was dry at night at 2. We use bed pads or night pants when away but otherwise we just change the sheets a lot. I think overuse of night pants masks them from sensing the wetness when they *are growing out if it so it draws the process out. But no not unreasonable. It's hormonal largely.

My DD was dry at 2ish and then when her baby brother was born when she was 7 she started bed wetting. It lasted for a few months. I know it’s not the same but I asked my GP about it and she said that it was incredibly common as some children such as my dad do it when stressed but for many their bladder just isn’t well enough developed to hold it all night and they sleep deeply. She said it’s common but just something that parents don’t like to share with others because they think that they are the only ones.