To think its ok that my 8yo is not dry at night

[Luna28]

My DS 1 age 8 is still not dry at night. I have tried everything but nothing works (alarms, lifting, ext.) and he is still wet every night. I know MIL will bring it up this xmas but AIBU to just say we are waiting for him to grow out of it?

With my friends lad this turned out to be a hormone issue. She was told that still wet after age 7 needed investigating.

My twins were still not dry at night until 10+

From the age of around 8 they were being seen at the enuresis clinic. The first requirement is to ditch the pull-ups which I'm sure you can imagine was fun with two of them, two lots of wet bedding to deal with every morning. As others have said, lots to drink during the day, avoiding drinks after 6pm, no squash. We also had to measure wee output for a time. They both had bladder ultrasounds which found no abnormalities. We tried the drug treatment which didn't really help. One became spontaneously dry at around 10.25, for the other one we progressed to trying an alarm which he hated, I think he was finally dry just before 11.

One thing that did help - brolly sheets. They are tumble dryable and although expensive to buy, they saved an awful lot of washing.

I must say I don't like to think of it as bed wetting - to me that always sounds like a regression of a child who is normally dry at night. In our case, they never had been dry at night despite cracking daytime potty training very easily at about 2.75yrs.

Neither were dry for their year 5 school residential and it was absolutely not an issue - the school was very used to it.

Yes it is, zdjg; my cousin's eldest had enuresis for years, there was nothing wrong with him and he outgrew it. Poor kid had one of those machines that make an awful noise and frighten the child into waking; glad to say they didn't use that for long. He was fine eventually but naturally quite embarrassed to be wetting as he was growing older. Family were all kind about it though, thankfully.

If there is no medical problem, the op's son will stop soon enough. Grandma can be quietly fobbed off.

They make dry nites like up to age 15 for a reason. www.amazon.co.uk/DryNites-Pyjama-Pants-Girls-Years/dp/B015ZK3KEW/ref=asc_df_B015ZK3KEW/?hvlocphy=9046693&linkCode=df0&hvptwo&psc=1&psc=1&hvnetw=g&hvadid=309990490538&hvpone&hvlocint&th=1&hvpos=1o1&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&hvtargid=pla-469550980055&hvrand=6533876862809768636

I remember being really shocked at this, then thinking it must be normal and prepared myself with DS1. He toilet trained at 2.5, and that was it, dry day and night. That's with juice in his room at night too.

His brother has only just cracked being dry during the day at 3.5 - he now recognises the feeling and controls himself. The comments I had about this for the last year to hurry him up sheesh- only prolonged it! but he still has a pullup at night. He's usually dry in the morning - will charge out of his room to the bathroom declaring a wee is on it's way but the odd morning the pullup is a bit wet so I don't risk it.

Don't listen to the bitchyness (I wish I hadn't) - don't pressure him, it will only make it worse for him, making out like he's abnormal - when what he needs to be told if he's worried is that it is completely normal for some children his age, and much older! he needs support. It will stop when it stops.

I pissed the bed right up into my early teens. I was mortified but there was nothing wrong with me.

I would go back to the doctors but if you are not willing to consider hormonal meds then not sure what other options they would suggest? I have not had much experience of this as dd has been dry at night for the last 6 months, she is 3.5years. More than likely he will get there on his own but it wouldn't hurt for him to be referred for extra tests? I think the main thing would be to seek support but not make him feel embarrassed about it.

DD wasn’t dry until she was just over 8. We contemplated raising it with the GP (but didn’t) and we were about to buy the alarm, then with no warning she was suddenly dry at night.
She went on a 3 day school trip with pull ups and a Brownie trip when she’d only been dry a month - both times the teachers/leaders didn’t see it as an issue and were incredibly supportive (and subtle).
Even for the end of Year 6 week trip the teachers asked as a matter of course to be told whether any children needed toilet support at night.
My advice is try not to stress, reassure your DS and confidently tell your MIL it will happen when he’s ready (and to butt out).

I discovered recently that DD6, who I had never tried to “night train” as I was told she would grow out of it in her own time, was wetting her Pull-Ups on purpose as it was easy and convenient for her to do, and she had never known any different.

There was an expert on here who verified that it is the case that some older children who still wear nappies or Pull-ups to bed will use them out of habit rather than need.

I’m not saying this is the case with your DS, or even the majority of older children who wear Pull-ups to bed, but it might be worth having the conversation with him to see if he is.

If there is the possibility that this is the case, as he’s older perhaps you could offer him the choice of continuing to wear them or (as they are expensive) having some of the money saved as extra pocket money if he chooses not to wear and use them?

Worth a try as it really was the case in my DD’s situation.

If it’s a genuine need, then don’t worry- DryNites are made up to age 15 for reason!

While waiting out the long years of DS's enuresis, we did regular 'trials' of pull-up free weeks. The first time we tried, he was wet several times a night, every night. Over the years, we could track improvement - a couple of times a night, mostly once a night...and once we hit the point when he did have a dry night, we tried to use pull ups as little as possible,even though that did mean we were washing sheets several nights a week.

Most gps won’t even investigate until 7-9 years old and it’s not uncommon at all. People here get funny about it but medically it’s really common

She better not bring it up in front of anyone and embarrass him!!

@Christmastreejoy - not what the NICE report on this topic says...

It's what all the consultants and doctors we have seen have said too. 🤷

Aridane,

The thing is - and we went the GP route, followed by referral to the enuresis clinic - 'seeing a GP' or even 'seeing a specialist' doesn't mean doing anything you aren't already doing.

Reasons for and patterns of bedwetting were discussed.

Recommendations were made about drinks, double voiding etc.

Choices - for DS, hormone treatment or waiting it out, because the pattern of his wetting clearly indicated hormone insufficiency - offered.

We chose waiting it out.

There was nothing 'magic' that the medical professional could do that we weren't doing / couldn't do ourselves, unless we wanted to go down the hormone treatment route.

So the NICE guidelines (I think be under professional care from 5?) might actually mean ' see someone, chat, do nothing different, wait for 5 more years...

I'm really surprised by this thread. DD dry from age 4 but the way people around me talked I assumed she was late. DD age 3 is usually dry and assumed this was a more normal age.

My son was 8 and 4 months before he was dry. Don't worry. He will grow out of it!

My DD was 3 and my DS was 10, nothing to do with routines or the type of liquids and certainly nothing to do with parenting. Purely medical that DS grew out of. I have helped with scouts and had plenty of wet beds, and lots of medicine given for it. DS had the medicine for sleepovers it’s how we knew it was hormonal because they wouldn’t of worked if it was another reason.

My dd has this issue, we've tried everything. She's had ultrasounds and everything is normal. My dh is a year 5 teacher who has been teaching for twenty years. He told me that lots of kids take pull ups on residential trips.

I certainly wouldn’t be “okay” with it. I’d be working with a medical team.
I’d keep family updated about appointments and tests so they knew I was doing everything possible.

I certainly wouldn’t be “okay” with it. I’d be working with a medical team
I don't think it is a choice. If a DC has an issue they have an issue.
This thread has opened up my eyes it really is a taboo subject and affects many. It must be very difficult and anxiety inducing for a DC.

@Softskin88 I remember your thread. There was lots of interesting advice. I hope your DD kept up all her hard work.

Really don't worry about this, my DS grew out of it eventually at 12. We went to a specialist and tried alarms when he was 7/8 and it didn't work, so then I just made the decision to invest in really good waterproof sheets and let the poor kid grow out of it in his own time.

My dd was 8- we never worried about it. We did have all the usual checks, but nothing was found. I think she was just a bit lazy tbh. It certainly hasn’t scarred her for life.

I know so many men who weren't dry at night. One of my closest friends wasn't dry until he was in his teens. His mother did take him to the GP but it was just one of those things that no one understood the reasons behind it. He did grow out of it.

I'd be concerned, but it's not unusual so I wouldn't be too worried!

I assume you're under the gp/paediatrician?

It's no one else's business though and I'd be worried about ds being embarrassed with mil knowing.