To think its ok that my 8yo is not dry at night

[Luna28]

My DS 1 age 8 is still not dry at night. I have tried everything but nothing works (alarms, lifting, ext.) and he is still wet every night. I know MIL will bring it up this xmas but AIBU to just say we are waiting for him to grow out of it?

DSS was 12 when he grew out of it. DS was about 10 I think. Both incredibly deep sleepers.

Mine was finally dry around 7yrs night time, (3yrs daytime) but also a heavy sleeper and slept through from about 10 weeks. (He was 42 weeks gestation and 10lb when born.)

Pre-warn MIL not to mention it and try not to worry as in most cases, they will grow out of it eventually without drugs or other interventions. You just need to be patient.

To clarify MIL is comming over this Xmas and is usally very judgmental. About a year ago DS stayed with her for a few days which is how she found out. Since then every time we see her she brings it up.

It's on the spectrum of normal.

I'd tell MIL very firmly it is NOT for discussion.

However, is it worth trying some desmopressin (the hormone) for sleep overs /school / cub trips to try to make things a little easier for your DS?

@museumum - period pants won’t absorb a full wee - they’d manage a small leak, but not a lot more.

I agree with the person who said to tell her if she mentions it, she won’t be welcome.

My friends sister had that issue with her seven year old.

This was before pull-ups. I only found out while babysitting when the child asked me to help he get her nappy on. I thought she was joking. I asked her about it and she said it was ok mum just changed the bed during the night if it happened. I did wonder if she enjoyed the one on one attention she got from mum during the night as she got no other attention as it was a large family with babies.

The mother gave her full glass of juice or milk before bed. I’d wet the bed if I drank that much! Yet she thought it normal. Bet she didn’t mention that to the doctor when telling him about her kids bed wetting.

I know none of that prob helps you but she grew out of it so it was ok in the end.

I wasn't dry in the night until I was 10. I went on a school trip (with my rubber sheet) but refused to used it and I never wet the bed ever again!

As long as your DS isn't present when she brings it up, just tell her you are following GP's advice and are sure he'll be dry when it's time. Then keep repeating it.

If she raises it in front of DS, ask her if she'll be happy about discussing her incontinence, when she is older.

I don’t think it’s usual but it’s also none of MIL’s business.
I would book an appt with GP and tell her before you see her you’re not discussing it with her as DS is embarrassed.

Both my boys weren't dry until they were 10. I had 16 years of wet beds. Rather than washing bedding every day I bought sleeping bags. Much easier than duvets and covers.

At 8 years old, he could be going to friend's sleep overs and youth club camps but will be sent home when wet.
You should be referring him (via GP) to an incontinence team and be in touch with your school nursing team.
You're being extremely cruel to assume he will grow out of it. How very unfair on your son.

He does go to sleepovers and has been on a camp this year and has not been a problem.

He is obviously embarrassed by it but waking him in the night or taking away pull ups has not helped so far.

I think you have a MIL problem that your DH will have to sort. Our DS was about six and luckily the alarm worked. However the pressure to sort came from MIL visit and in hindsight it wasn't fair on DS. Tell your DH his judgey mother is not welcome unless she keeps her opinions to herself. Our MIL has moved on from bedwetting to food, weight, everything really. Once they feel they can say what they like, they will.

My daughter has never been sent home if wet, how cruel! Anytime it has happened she has been treated by the other adults with care and discretion.

How DARE she keep bringing it up? Poison her turkey.

DS is 8 and he has been dry the last 2 weeks. We had the alarm but it was faulty so just went cold turkey. He never really drank much during the day so we gave him a bottle of water to drink throughout the day - I think this has had an effect. Pretty sure we will have wet nights but they will, hopefully, become less

Why don't you lie to her and tell her he is dry, none of her business , she sounds like a right cow.

My cousin wet the bed until he was 10, his parents never got to the bottom of it. It stopped when he got to 11. I don't know if it was a medical problem or what. He had a secure home life.
I'm sure your son will grow out of it.

Jut tell her it’s none of her damn business. You don’t need to discuss your families private stuff with your MIL.

I have to say this was the 1960s and he had no choice but to grow out of it, do please take him to the GP, these days there is so much that can be done.

I wish this issue was better understood. DS2 was the same. Most children's bodies release a hormone that keeps them dry at night before age three. If they don;t then it won;t release until the onset of puberty, some time between the ages of 8-14. That's all it is. It's not weakness or bad parenting or a sign of anything in itself (although ASD children have a higher incidence of it) but it will sort itself out.

Don't tell MiL. Make sure he has well-fitting dry-nite pants and if you stay over anywhere, add a bed mat that sticks to the top of the sheet. Bring some scented nappy bags to put them in if they get used and a carrier bag to hide the nappy bags in, in the suitcase.

@madcatladyforever - I'm not sure there is so much that can be done these days. You can get desmopressin but it's not good for you. The alarms don;t work and nearly all the other devices are in some form shaming or drawing attention to something the child has no control over. We just said: You'll grow out of it and never mentione dit. I often had to egt up at night and change sheets. Just did it without any fuss or comment and went back to bed. At puberty, he grew out of it.

Sorry, wrong thread! Asked for it to be removed.