DH said he was leaving 2 hours ago

[Whentheleavesfalldown]

His works do last night, ended up going into town. His phone's flat, also with my brother so text me off his phone.
Text at 3 to say he's coming home just getting food first.
Two hours later, no where to be seen, brother hasn't replied or picked up my calls.
No food or taxi transactions on his card (joint account), club shut at 3.
This isn't like him at all, but we have had trust issues with drugs in the past but i thought that was all behind us.
Where the fuck would he be? No idea what to do. Part of me thinks he would have thought to walk home if the wait for a taxi was long, but it would take an hour to walk back home.
I have never ever suspected or thought he would cheat on me, but it's 5 in the morning and he's still not back? Or what if he's been attacked and is laying half dead somewhere?
Christ. If i didn't have 8 month old DS asleep, I'd be driving round searching the streets for him!
Any advice on what to do?? If anyones awake :(

One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother waiting for my father to come home. It wasn’t a drinking situation, but one where he was unable to get home or contact her.

That was 100% not his fault, and fortunately he contacted as soon as he could. I would never choose to cause someone worry by my own behaviour.

If he hadn't texted at 3 to say he was coming home then it wouldn't have been a problem would it?

If he was sober enough to text and say he was on his way then he was sober enough to text and say they were going somewhere else and he would be home later.

We don't text if we are out for the night but if DH has gone by train then I pick him up off the last train (00:40) unless he tells me otherwise. The only time I get pissed off is when he messages after the trains departure time and I've stayed up to collect him only to find out he's not on it

Who gets that wrecked when they have a baby at home? He'll spend the day being completely useless.

@QueenoftheBiscuitTin the conversation has moved on a bit and now the concern is his weekly cocaine use

DH has fully admitted he has a problem with cocaine and he seems genuine when he says he wants help. He has been in contact with local drug services who will be contacting him tomorrow.
I'm under no illusion that this isn't going to be easy and it's a long road ahead for us as a family.
I am committed to my husband and the vows I made, as long as he is willing to accept help, which he seems to be at the moment, I will be supporting him through this and his recovery.
Thank you all for your comments

I'm glad he's opened up to you and you can now get him the help you need.
Good luck OP x

My ex used to take cocaine on nights out. He then started to do it weekly, then at work in the middle of the day. I have tried endless amounts of times to help him.

He has two children and still can't kick the habit. Believe me after 5 years of trying to help him it got me nowhere. He just improved his lying skills.
Such an addictive drug

I can’t believe some of the responses on here!

DP can go out whenever he likes and stay out as late as he likes but if he messages me to say he’ll be home soon and then doesn’t show up damn right I’ll be worrying and wondering where he is. Pretty sure that doesn’t make me controlling.

He’s entitled to a lie in and a hangover every now and then but if it got to the point where he was always having a lie in and nursing a hangover and I was continually picking up the slack then I’d be pissed off with that too.

@Whentheleavesfalldown
Really sorry to hear that he is having difficulties with drugs. Admire your integrity to your vows though!
Wishing all the best and strength to both of you (likely you will need it...)

You’re one of those ‘cool wives’ who doesn’t mind her husband doing shit like this, are you?

Actually I looked at it from my point of view - would I be happy if DH was stalking me while I was out. The answer was no.
Yes, he should have let her know. But haven't you ever got drunk? You can make poor choices.
Having said, that, I'm not "cool wife" enough to be happy with habitual cocaine use - that's very different to an occasional drunken night.

Maybe talk to your brother first? Ask him what they were doing? Considering he didn't return home either the probability is they were together. Sorry you're left to pick up the lack today cause your DH decided to be twat, I hope he apologises!