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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think wanting a drink doesn't make you an alcoholic

198 replies

pumpandthump · 21/12/2019 19:14

Because some mnetters do.

This isn't a taat more a thread about several posts on various threads.

I very rarely drink, for example, the last time I had a drink was 15th November at my works Christmas do. Before that I'm not sure, but probably a glass of wine in September or October. I drink roughly once a month, slightly less often. Usually just 1 or 2 drinks, with or after a meal. This year I have been 'merry' but not drunk, once.

Christmas day I enjoy a drink- bucks fizz as we open presents in the morning, a glass of red or 2 with our meal and then a Bailey's in the evening once the kids are in bed. I don't HAVE to have them, but I'd be really disappointed if I couldn't, it's part of the tradition.

According to some posters, being unwilling to forego this alcohol makes me an alcoholic. Aibu to think this is ridiculous?

OP posts:
SlightlyStaleCocoPops · 21/12/2019 20:15

Has anyone asked OP how she would get her children to hospital yet?

MargotB7 · 21/12/2019 20:17

I saw one comment earlier which made me laugh.

Can’t you all have a teetotal Christmas? Because, if not, she’s probably not the only alcoholic.

I'm not an alcoholic and will not be having a teetotal Christmas. I think it's hilarious how some Mumsnetters think.

Trewser · 21/12/2019 20:22

I'll be staying on coffee until about 2pm, then I'll drink a glass of champagne when guests arrive, a couple of g and ts while cooking, the best part of a bottle of red over the meal and possibly a glass of sauternes. Not an alcoholic.

Original poster
pumpandthump · 21/12/2019 20:22

cyclingmad you could say that on any thread. I don't care what people on the internet think, but I'm bored and enjoying discussions on a forum.

OP posts:
FromEden · 21/12/2019 20:22

If you truly had no attachment to alcohol you wouldnt miss it or feel less than because its not there

What a ridiculous statement. Theres loads of things I like to eat and drink that I would miss if they weren't there. It wouldn't be a proper christmas dinner without roast potatoes for example. If there werent any I would be disappointed. Doesn't mean I have an unhealthy attachment to potatoes, just means that I like them.

YellowSubmarine94 · 21/12/2019 20:23

I'm teetotal by choice, I can't stand alcohol. I enjoy drinking tea, juice and fizzy soft drinks far more.

And I couldn't care less if people think I'm "boring" I live for myself and not for others.

OnlyTheTitOfTheIceberg · 21/12/2019 20:24

It's precisely because I don't need a drink that I occasionally like to have one. (And I do mean occasionally - one or two drinks every two or three weeks or so.) Just as I occasionally like to have a pizza or a cream cake. It's a nice treat, something to look forward to, and I'd be briefly annoyed if something prevented me from having one once I've decided I'm in the mood for one, precisely because it isn't such a regular occurence that it's commonplace.

I have a functioning alcoholic in my family so I know the difference between someone who enjoys an occasional drink but can take or leave it, and someone dependent upon it.

shortaris1 · 21/12/2019 20:24

I just don't recognise the way people behave about booze on here with anyone I know.

We all drink at weekends and sometimes in the week.

No one is an alchoholic. I could stop drinking tomorrow. Id just rather not.

gamerwidow · 21/12/2019 20:24

If you had a recovering alcoholic come to Christmas lunch and couldn’t forego it for them then yes I would say that’s a problem
It's funny this attitude is so popular but if you suggested a meat free Christmas for everyone because a Vegan was coming over all hell would break loose Grin.

Original poster
pumpandthump · 21/12/2019 20:25

MargotB7 that's the comment hat sparked my thinking, but I've seen it on many threads over the years I've been on mumsnet.

The first year I went to the in laws for Christmas I was disappointed to discover then don't have yorkshire puddings with Christmas dinner, that doesn't make me addicted to yorkshire puddings!

Lucked I already made that point.

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 21/12/2019 20:25

It's perfectly reasonable to be disappointed not to be able to enjoy a drink at Christmas just as I might be disappointed not to be able to enjoy nuts for a snack. But if I were staying with teetotallers or a recovering alcoholic, I would be willing to do the former, just as if I were staying with someone allergic to peanuts I would be willing to do the latter.

If there's a good reason to not have a drink and you are unwilling to do it, then that's definitely selfish. I don't think it necessarily makes you an alcoholic, just a wanker.

gamerwidow · 21/12/2019 20:26

*I'm teetotal by choice, I can't stand alcohol. I enjoy drinking tea, juice and fizzy soft drinks far more.

And I couldn't care less if people think I'm "boring" I live for myself and not for others.*

And that is exactly the right way to be. I have tee total friends and drinking friends and we all manage to enjoy each others company without it ever being an issue.

Crystal87 · 21/12/2019 20:31

I've got a friend who doesn't drink at all and when I tell her I'm having a glass of wine she'll always reply with "bad day?" Err, no I just enjoy it.

Cineraria · 21/12/2019 20:31

I'm enjoying reading about other posters' apparent addictions to meringues, mince pies and roast potatoes according to what level of need other posters' consider to be worrying. Mine is cheese. It's never been something I eat a lot by choice, although it is hard for a vegetarian to avoid it when eating out but I do like a nice cheeseboard with crackers, fruit and pickles on Christmas Day or Boxing Day. I am on my third year of avoiding milk for breastfeeding an allergic child and every Christmas I crave it, look at cheese selection packs in the shops, feel a bit cross, resentful and frustrated that I shouldn't have it, politely irritated with anyone who suggests I stop breasfeeding for the day/altogether, feel tempted to buy one anyway "just one piece of cheese on a cracker can't hurt, will it?" and have to picture DS2 horribly itchy and with stomach pains keeping me awake all night to completely put me off it. I probably need help!

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 21/12/2019 20:32

Op, I drink even less than you, but I do like a drink at works xmas do.

I drink about 5 times a year and I look forward to a xmas do drink.

TheFormidableMrsC · 21/12/2019 20:33

Jesus Christ. MN has such a weird relationship with alcohol. I don't drink during the week. I totally overindulge on a Saturday. I am not an alcoholic. Speaking with a recovering alcoholic this week (and also close and respected friend), it is clear that very many have no idea whatsoever what being an alcoholic actually is. I recall somebody on here talking about drinking a bottle of wine over a WEEK and somebody telling her she had a "drink problem" and needed to seek immediate medical attention. ODFOD.

I don't even know why you're asking OP, you know you're NBU. Just enjoy your Xmas routine.

TheFormidableMrsC · 21/12/2019 20:34

@gamerwidow 100% Grin

Skidzer · 21/12/2019 20:36

Medically speaking (and this is the point where medical doctors begin to care or intervene) you're classed as 'alcohol dependent' at 12 units per day. So a bottle and a bit of wine per day. At that point, your body is physically dependent on alcohol. Withdrawal from alcohol at that level will require some level of detox (no idea why).
Below that, you're not touching alcoholism.
The hysteria (no other word could describe it) on MN about alcohol intake is funny. I'd say if they knew how much an alcoholic can sink, they'd probably pass out from the fumes heh heh.

Northernsoullover · 21/12/2019 20:38

@Dapplegrey iit isn't a disease for goodness sake. Alcohol is addictive. People can be physically (as in have to drink or risk a dangerous seizure) or psychologically addicted. I hate the 'always in recovery' bollocks. Once you stop drinking you are an ex drinker. Much the same as an ex smoker. You don't have cocaineaholics either.

missyB1 · 21/12/2019 20:38

So all these people who think it’s an issue to have a drink now and again, I presume you never eat chocolate, cake, biscuits, burgers etc? There are lots of things that aren’t good for us but in moderation won’t kill us.
I would be disappointed not to have champagne on Christmas Day but I would also be disappointed not to have chocolate and cake on Christmas Day.

Skidzer · 21/12/2019 20:39

For reference, most alcoholics I know would average 30-60 units per day.

MrsEnglishh · 21/12/2019 20:40

Alcoholism is not a disease, ffs. How insulting to those with actual diseases. It's a choice. Drinking a liquid is a choice.

I think if someone can't enjoy an occasion without having to consume alcohol, they must be quite empty.

aggitatedstate · 21/12/2019 20:41

"what it really means to be an alcoholic and it often has little to do with how much they drink"

@rosie

SPOT ON

TheFormidableMrsC · 21/12/2019 20:42

@Skidzer Yep, I'd say that was my Dad. He drinks a bottle and a half of good red wine a day and has done for about 40 years. Since he retired around 6 years ago, he opens a bottle at lunchtime. Goes to bed at about 11. Never gets pissed. He's nearly 81, fit as a fiddle and slim. I don't care if he's alcohol dependent. He's enjoying his twilight years and has the money to do so. He's no danger to anybody and is chilled and relaxed. Who cares?

Skidzer · 21/12/2019 20:43

@MrsEnglishh How about you say that to my face.Grin

Alcoholism is not a choice.