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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say I warned him, and it's his own fault.

345 replies

DieHardISaChristmasFilm · 21/12/2019 12:34

DS is 2 weeks old. I'm BF and hungry constantly. I also had gestational diabetes for the last 10 weeks if pregnancy so very limited carbs.

Last night I wanted fish and chips. DH has unfortunately inherited a bit of competitive under eating from his mother (oh that's me done for the day if there's a big lunch- this is never actually true!) So I was very specific with my order, and being hungry.
He arrives home with a fish each, but one single chips (not even a large one) to go between me, him and DD. He also missed out the curry sauce Xmas Angry
I served up for myself and DD leaving almost no chips for him, then told him it wad his own bloody fault and he needed to go back to the shop if he wanted chips. He's been sulking since last night. WIBU? He knows how much I hate the meager little portions when we go to his parents, it shouldn't be too much to ask for a reasonable portion if chips, esp while breastfeeding!

OP posts:
gamerchick · 21/12/2019 14:33

Small portions of chips are enough for anyone. Are you fat by any chance and DH thin?

ODFOD Hmm

Good for you OP. Remind him of that the next time he goes to the chippie if he doesn't come back with what has been asked for.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 21/12/2019 14:33

Small portions of chips are enough for anyone. Are you fat by any chance and DH thin?

I'm impressed that you know where OP lives and the portion sizes sold by her local chippy, as these vary significantly; but even so, you aren't the chip police and you cannot speak for every other person as if their circumstances couldn't possibly differ from your own. YOU believe that a small portion of chips is enough for anyone, but how would you feel if you ordered them at the counter of your local chippy (which is what OP did by proxy) and the assistant refused to sell you that many as, in their opinion, "a small portion is enough for four people and far too big for one".

In answer to your rather rude question, yes OP did have a big belly until recently, because she was something called 'pregnant' - and now the baby has been born, but is being breastfed, which requires significantly more calories than normal to sustain healthily.

Asking a woman who is being deliberately deprived of the reasonable amount of food that she has ordered and she (and her baby) needs "Is it because you're fat?" is not all that different in principle from asking a woman who has been violently assaulted "Well, did you nag him a lot?"

LurkingFather · 21/12/2019 14:34

This will probably pies you off, but a portion of chippy chips has between 800 and 1k calories.

Add the fish and the batter. You are looking easily at a day and half of nutrition or more in a single chippy portion. Without breakfast or else.

While he might have behaved like an arse, it seems your hunger and your actual needs are also not well lined up. Having pregnancy diabetes sets you up for becoming diabetic long term, so you might as well address that now.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 21/12/2019 14:38

So that's TWO men now who have been forced to step in and save a brain-addled silly little woman from herself.... Hmm

MsChnandlerBong · 21/12/2019 14:38

Nobody asked to be told the calorie content of chips.

OP is breastfeeding. It burns a lot of calories. It's hungry work. Your contribution to this thread is bollocks.

joystir59 · 21/12/2019 14:39

You know what? We are a seriously overweight nation who thinks eating great big portions is fun, something to uphold, laugh about and get really defensive about. Hardly anyone would need to eat 1,300 calories in one meal would they? I love fish and chips but it is a rare treat and a fish with a handful of chips is plenty.

Skinnychip · 21/12/2019 14:40

There were no snacks provided. I know some people would say they aren't necessary, but they bloody well are when you're expecting lunch at 3pm ish, and SIL doesn't put the roast potatoes in the oven until 7pm when an aunt insisted she got on with it. We didn't eat Xmas dinner until 9pm.

We might have the same IL!! Mine always announce a time dinner will be served, we always add 2 hours. They are in the kitchen faffing preparing literally all day. It's a constant mystery why it takes so ridiculously long to make (usually fairly basic) meals. When my DC were little they would get really upset and crabby as they were so hungry. We would give them snacks or bread as they couldnt wait til 7 or 8pm which was allegedly going to be a "late lunch" at 4pm and then FIL would get annoyed with them for eating all the bread and not eating dinner!! Now we take our own snacks or help ourselves.
Although once MIL said dinner was going to be at x o clock. We did our normal x + 2 hours and DH suggested going to the pub. We had a leisurely walk to the pub, had a drink and came back and everyone was sat at the table waiting! MIL said I told you dinner would be at x o clock and DH said well I didnt think you meant it!!

joystir59 · 21/12/2019 14:40

I'm not a man btw

joystir59 · 21/12/2019 14:41

I'm an ex obese person who believes that the worst thing about being obese was definitely not being fat shamed

gamerchick · 21/12/2019 14:41

This will probably pies you off, but a portion of chippy chips has between 800 and 1k calories

Add the fish and the batter. You are looking easily at a day and half of nutrition or more in a single chippy portion. Without breakfast or else.

While he might have behaved like an arse, it seems your hunger and your actual needs are also not well lined up. Having pregnancy diabetes sets you up for becoming diabetic long term, so you might as well address that now

Fucking hell Grin I hope your lady told you to fuck the fuck off when you uttered those words to her when having babies Hmm

Christ Grin

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 21/12/2019 14:43

Good for you OP. Remind him of that the next time he goes to the chippie if he doesn't come back with what has been asked for

Yes, if he treats her like a small child who doesn't know how much food she should be ordering, it's only fair that she treat him like a silly little child who can't be trusted to relay a food order and should phone the chippy ahead with it 'as he's liable to forget something'.

MsChnandlerBong · 21/12/2019 14:43

If you want to talk about an obesity crisis Joy then go start a thread. This isn't the one. Nobody on this one cares. You can take that mansplaining calorie counter with you. Fun.

SmuggyMcKnobson · 21/12/2019 14:45

Small portions of chips are enough for anyone. Are you fat by any chance and DH thin?

How fucking dare you.

joystir59 · 21/12/2019 14:45

The British love forgive portions of food needs to Be challenged IMO. It us actually embarrassing- we have French and Italian friends who eat really well but would not dream of eating our portion sizes.

Skinnychip · 21/12/2019 14:45

This will probably pies you off, but a portion of chippy chips has between 800 and 1k calories.

I dont think any pies were involved in the original post!! 😂

joystir59 · 21/12/2019 14:46

For huge, not forgive, sorry

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 21/12/2019 14:46

I'm not a man btw

I don't think anybody suggested you were.

I was referring to OP's husband and the PP called LurkingFather.

CheshireChat · 21/12/2019 14:46

But the chips are the best bit! And I can't eat just fish/ meat on its own so I'd probably eat half the fish and all the chips and have leftovers

Original poster
DieHardISaChristmasFilm · 21/12/2019 14:47

Wow, always amazed by the sanctimonious food police!
I've had words. I'm an adult woman and will control my own food intake.
Between nausea and GD I'm 20lb under my booking weight and HUNGRY! I'm not going to cause issues with milk production to try and restrict my calorie intake

OP posts:
QueenoftheBiscuitTin · 21/12/2019 14:47

I'm pretty sure OP knows fish and chips is calorific. That's really not the point here.

gamerchick · 21/12/2019 14:48

I think joy is preaching a bit like an ex smoker does. This is the wrong thread for it. Go start your own if you want to educate the masses.

alittleprivacy · 21/12/2019 14:48
  1. Where are you getting your figures from Lurking? I just googled it and opened the first three links that popped up and got 838, 840 and 842 for an average portion of fish AND chips.
  1. The OP is breastfeeding a pretty newborn baby, she actually needs quite a lot more calories than the average woman, in these early months.
  1. Where did the OP ask for dietary advice? She didn't, so maybe fuck off with it.

Yours truly, the tiny woman with a BMR of 1200 who, like the OP, will eat fish and chips whenever she damn well chooses to.

MsChnandlerBong · 21/12/2019 14:49

It wouldn't matter if you were the size of a house OP! As you say, you're an adult and what you eat is up to you. Not your husband and not the orthorexia obsessed bored of MN!

lottiegarbanzo · 21/12/2019 14:51

This has bog all to do with being fat, thin, or over-eating.

It is about OP's DH believing he knows her mind better than she does.

If he was concerned about her weight and her health, an adult conversation would be the way to address that. Not trying to 'share' her into submission.

So bugger off 'I love to miss the point by a mile and talk about myself' Joy.

LurkingFather · 21/12/2019 14:54

Thanks for the encouragement.

Anyway, breastfeeding adds just about 400 - 500 calories to your daily needs. That's a small sandwich. Per day. And only if you do not need to loose weight anyway, which I guess is the case for most who have become diabetic in their pregnancy.

So definitely not a whole adult portion extra. Quite possibly, no extra food at all needed for breastfeeding.

BF is an idiot and arse if he tries to "fix" a problem he perceives by controlling, hence I suggested to reflect yourself instead of applauding him.