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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say I warned him, and it's his own fault.

345 replies

DieHardISaChristmasFilm · 21/12/2019 12:34

DS is 2 weeks old. I'm BF and hungry constantly. I also had gestational diabetes for the last 10 weeks if pregnancy so very limited carbs.

Last night I wanted fish and chips. DH has unfortunately inherited a bit of competitive under eating from his mother (oh that's me done for the day if there's a big lunch- this is never actually true!) So I was very specific with my order, and being hungry.
He arrives home with a fish each, but one single chips (not even a large one) to go between me, him and DD. He also missed out the curry sauce Xmas Angry
I served up for myself and DD leaving almost no chips for him, then told him it wad his own bloody fault and he needed to go back to the shop if he wanted chips. He's been sulking since last night. WIBU? He knows how much I hate the meager little portions when we go to his parents, it shouldn't be too much to ask for a reasonable portion if chips, esp while breastfeeding!

OP posts:
Lweji · 23/12/2019 08:22

It's not even an entire fish. About half, not including the head, guts, spine and skin. Wink

MulticolourTinselOnTheTree · 23/12/2019 08:27

FallenAngel01

You're the one who needs to get over themselves, OP's breastfeeding and also underweight, so clearly you're stupid enough to not read the thread.

TheLittleDogLaughed · 23/12/2019 08:35

Cod, I’m hungry.

Tolleshunt · 23/12/2019 09:06

PlandeRaccordement we are talking about one meal here.

Even if you had full knowledge of the portion sizes of this particular chippy - which you don’t- it’s ludicrous to accuse the OP of ‘overeating’ on the basis of one meal and betrays an unhealthy anxiety about food.

A healthy lifestyle - including healthy eating- is about long-term habits and what is done overall, not about obsessing over each meal. Those who obsess about each and every single sodding meal being ‘healthy’ and ‘sensible’, who never unclench enough to eat anything ‘unhealthy’, and who never eat a larger portion than is strictly required are probably suffering from orthorexia.

RJnomore1 · 23/12/2019 11:18

I can only assume there are so many women on here who have totally fucked their metabolism through restricted eating that they have no idea how to eat normally!

MsChnandlerBong · 23/12/2019 11:37

I'm definitely having chippy for lunch today. I'm actually a bit fat too, and no fucks are given!

BarbaraofSeville · 23/12/2019 11:50

The last time I got a small portion from my chippy, it had 14 chils in it

Whereas at the chippies round here, a standard/small/regular/call it what you will portion of chips probably has more like 14 potatoes in it.

A portion of chips will fill a dinner plate piled up and the fish will hang over both sides.

But the OP wasn't unreasonable to take what she wanted and leave him the leftovers. And forgetting the curry sauce was unforgiveable.

joystir59 · 23/12/2019 11:58

I'm definitely having chippy for lunch today. I'm actually a bit fat too, and no fucks are given!
If someone said this of their planned alcohol intake we would not be amused would we? As in, 'I've already got a small drink problem but I'm going on a bender today and no fucks given'.
Somehow it's OK to keep eating yourself ill.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 23/12/2019 12:11

I’m in minority of YABU. I know portion sizes from fish and chip shops are massive. A single chip order is more than enough as a side for two adults and a small child. Especially with an entire fish each. To call sensible eating “competitive under eating” is ridiculous unless your DH is anorexic and rail thin. If he is a healthy weight, then he’s not an under eater. You may be using breastfeeding as an excuse to overeat though....

Let’s leave aside the point many have already made about portion sizes varying significantly between chip shops. Even if this one IS particularly generous on portions, the OP makes it very clear that her husband ordered one SMALL portion. Even a generous small isn’t going to be enough for three people, especially when one is particularly hungry.

In any case, even if the OP had asked for slightly more than necessary, the time for her husband to raise it was before he left to get the food. If genuinely concerned, all he had to do was say ‘Are you sure we need two portions? It’s a lot’. Then the OP can either say ‘Okay, maybe one large will do’ or ‘But I’m really hungry - I want to be sure we have enough’. Seriously, she’s not asking for finest Russian caviar or Dordogne truffles - it’s a bag of chips. Go mad and splash out the extra two quid on a bigger bag.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 23/12/2019 12:12

Oh the irony of your username, Joy.

joystir59 · 23/12/2019 12:45

Have any of you been to hospital recently and seen all the fat people waddling around with mobility aids? Obesity is a serious problem!

StillCoughingandLaughing · 23/12/2019 13:07

Of course it is - but it’s caused by years of overeating, not one bag of chips.

pointythings · 23/12/2019 13:19

Much stir.
No joy.

BaolFan · 23/12/2019 13:20

Joystir stop projecting your own issues with food and obesity on to the OP.

TwoOddSocks · 23/12/2019 13:34

Have any of you been to hospital recently and seen all the fat people waddling around with mobility aids? Obesity is a serious problem!

Oh my god! I'm a healthy weight and always have been but when I get fish and chips or any tae away as a treat I want a full portion so I;m not left hungry - especially when I was breastfeeding! Also what absolute rubbish last time I was in a hospital no I did not see thousands of fat zombies wandering around with mobility aids.

gamerchick · 23/12/2019 13:36

Joystir stop projecting your own issues with food and obesity on to the OP

Indeed. Joy I do hope you're not like this IRL with your family, especially on Christmas day. Just unclench for a bit.

FruitcakeOfHate · 23/12/2019 13:39

Actually, I still wouldn't give any fucks, joy, about how other adults choose to engage in legal activities. That would be controlling and fucked up. You're quite generous, OP, I'd have given half his fish to your DD and split up the chips. But then, people like this, I'd have placed the order myself or gone back and got more food. I don't abide controlling people.

Tolleshunt · 23/12/2019 13:43

Another one who says you are projecting, Joy,

Yes, some people are overweight or obese, and it affects their health. Many others are not. An occasional treat will do nobody any harm. Obsession, on the other hand, can be very definitely detrimental to mental health.

Either way, it’s not your concern what other people eat, or what they weigh. Get your own house in order.

FruitcakeOfHate · 23/12/2019 13:50

I was SO thirsty whilst breastfeeding! DH brought me tons of cranberry juice, which I craved in particular. We're having a chippy for tea tomorrow night, DH is picking it up after he and the kids see the Star Wars film. I'm having a fish supper. All mine!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 23/12/2019 13:54

I haven't seen any yet this year, but this is the time when we usually get some joyless folk banging on about how many calories people are likely to eat on Christmas Day (always assuming that people will have absolutely every variation of Christmas treat imaginable) and juxtaposing it with the recommended daily calorie intake.

The tiresome suggestion drawn from this is always that this is why people are obese. Oddly enough, though, unless you're Roy Wood and your wishes have all come true, there are 364 days of the year when people don't celebrate Christmas Day. Even if people pig out for a whole week, that's still 51 weeks of normal eating.

In other news, many people spend thousands of pounds on their wedding days and need to be sternly cautioned that such expenditure for one day simply isn't sustainable, assuming that you continue to spend the same amount every single other day of your life.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 23/12/2019 13:57

Also, you can't compare people who might be overweight commenting on having an occasional blow-out with an alcoholic going on a bender.

It's perfectly possible to live the whole of a long life without ever touching a drop of alcohol (or by completely giving it up forever at any time). Not so much with food, though....

joystir59 · 23/12/2019 14:02

Yes I am projecting my own food issues as I approach the danger zone that is Christmas. Sorry OP! This will be my first Christmas for a number of years at a healthy weight. I'm scared of letting go control as I love being a healthy weight. So yes, hands up, I am projecting. I am going to try and ease up on myself (and everyone on Number).

joystir59 · 23/12/2019 14:02

Mumsnet not Number

SmeagolAteMyWombat · 23/12/2019 14:16

**TheLittleDogLaughed

Cod, I’m hungry.
🤣🤣

TwoOddSocks · 23/12/2019 14:29

Yes I am projecting my own food issues as I approach the danger zone that is Christmas. Sorry OP! This will be my first Christmas for a number of years at a healthy weight.

Fair play joy now I feel mean in my reply. It's not easy to change your mind. Good luck for Christmas and congratulations on your weight loss!