To think, you don't send a 14yr old to a party with alcohol?

[christmasandcounting]

Why would people do this? Child has been invited to a party with other kids of the same age. All the parents are giving them booze to bring with them? WTH? Why would ppl do this? They are CHILDREN!

I was 14 in the late 90s. My brother is two years older.

My parents never gave us drink to take away. But they did let us drink with them. DB was given beer for prom. My boyfriends mum gave us drink.

It's not that weird. The kids who weren't given drink were usually the ones who ended up paralytic and/or making merry mix.

It was easy enough to get booze so better you're given weak stuff by mum and dad.

The kids who weren't given drink were usually the ones who ended up paralytic and/or making merry mix.

People keep saying this, but the evidence doesn't back it up. Quite the contrary.

Wtaf am I reading? If any friend of my 14yo child came to my house with alcohol,they'd be calling their parents and going straight back home.

Exactly this! I have a 15 yo and if (tbh even now) a bunch of his friends rocked up with booze, I'd think their parents are either a bit crap or just neglectful of their development.

That being said, I think it's fairly common for kids that age to experiment, just not with their parents advocating and encouraging it.

I’m so glad I came across this thread. DH and I have different alcohol habits, and it’s really made me think that we need to have a proper conversation about our views on alcohol ready for when we get there (we are hopefully a couple of years off this at the moment).

For those looking for resources and a conversation about alcohol with their teens the Australian website/movement Hello Sunday Morning has some great resources.

www.hellosundaymorning.org/

People keep saying this, but the evidence doesn't back it up. Quite the contrary.

Long term probably not, but I am talking about the immediate time after becoming 18, say the Uni years. Thats when it happens. The vast majority of those who go on what is basically a three year bender do not end up problem drinkers. But it is a big problem in those years.

When you start university, you can definitely tell who lived a sheltered teen life, they go wild and end up absolutely paralytic during freshers

From my experience in 1999 at university i agree with rachelfromfriends1

I was never bought alcohol but was allowed a taste however

OP yanbu 14 is too young

20 somethings I work with go to gym and think it's cool when someone doesnt drinks as training for a marathon. Good on them.

There's a big gap between sending a 14 yo off to a party with alcohol and a teenager not having any drinks before uni

Exactly!

I was a teenager in the early '90s and it was fairly common for teenagers to be given a few beers to take to parties amongst the kids I knew then. I assume the idea was to stop us all raiding the spirits in the cabinet or getting in trouble down the off licence (the old guy there served anyone who looked over about 12 anyway!).

I suspect either times have changed or I am in a very different social group now though. DS1 is 14 and he would be astonished if I gave him beer to take to a party! I don't think any of his friends parents would do that either. He has no interest in drinking at all (yet, I am aware this probably won't last!). My dad offered him a small amount of watered down drink with a meal (as they did with us occasionally at that age) and he looked at my Dad like he had two heads.

Unless the alcohol was for the party host parent I would not be giving any alcoholic drinks to an teen. I don't get the mentality of buying stuff for teens that for good reason is not sold to them.

Long term probably not, but I am talking about the immediate time after becoming 18, say the Uni years

Actually Dds peers who are at university now who had parents who taught them to drink are the ones who are carted off to hospital with alcohol poisoning or who are drinking to excess.

Actually Dds peers who are at university now who had parents who taught them to drink are the ones who are carted off to hospital with alcohol poisoning or who are drinking to excess.

Whereas it’s the opposite in DS’s cohort

Just goes to show it’s all circumstance and people can only do their best in their circumstances

Actually Dds peers who are at university now who had parents who taught them to drink are the ones who are carted off to hospital with alcohol poisoning or who are drinking to excess. I don't recall ever dividing people into these categories when I was at Uni - sounds like your dd is a bit on the judgy side.

QuickstepQueen dd isn’t at university.

She is at work. A lot of her friends go to university.
The sheer amount of alcohol they consume is staggering.

One of her friends, a few weeks into her course said she was the only person on her course who had turned up to every lecture. Sometimes she was the only person to turn up. The rest were all nursing hangovers or were still asleep.

Also totally agree with Northernsoullover

My parents allowed the odd WKD or smirnoff ice when I was 14. I drank small amounts at parties from then on, got really drunk a couple of times when I was around 18 and since then I’ve barely touched it.

I’ll have maybe one if I’m out with friends but none of my social circle are real drinkers.

Having booze as a teenager isn’t a massive deal, imo.