To think, you don't send a 14yr old to a party with alcohol?

[christmasandcounting]

Why would people do this? Child has been invited to a party with other kids of the same age. All the parents are giving them booze to bring with them? WTH? Why would ppl do this? They are CHILDREN!

Sometimes it’s a case of if you don’t let them they will do it anyway. Not sure I would encourage it but don’t think it’s worth getting too upset about.

I have 3 teens, ds aged 17 and dds aged 12 and 14.

Ds didn't take alcohol to parties until he was 16. He knew of parties where they took alcohol and all got drunk when they were 14/15 but it wasn't standard.
dd aged 14 doesn't drink alcohol at home and wouldn't be allowed to take it to a party.

I am surprised at the number of people who are saying it is fine.

I'm really not that strict. ds aged 17 now inks and has been drunka couple of times, but there is a huge difference between 14 and 17

I’d be uncomfortable with 14, even though I was drinking (in pubs and memorably a few club nights) at that age.

However I call foul on that article @Jossina . I’m very much anti the normalisation of alcohol abuse but harm reduction works (maybe just in the case of illegal drugs? Anyway abstinence only programs are evidenced doomed to fail). It was this quote that got me:

‘ “One of the major reasons I see now [for underage drinking] is to black-out, get wasted. That wasn’t the case 20 years ago,” he said.’

HAHAHA

Obviously the quoted person did not frequent the same teenage parties that I did.

I agree with you too OP. A party of 14 year olds is not a good place for a 14 year old to be drunk at. I think it’s irresponsible parenting TBH. Even if your own kid is responsible enough to be trusted not to drink too much you can’t know about the other kids.

I wouldn’t be half as bothered about a kid having some alcohol in the company of their parents.
I’ve four kids in their twenties. One never drinks alcohol, one does very occasionally and the other two do when they go out but not to excess. The biggest party goer is the tea totaller. Loads and loads of young people don’t drink these days. There is no need to promote drinking to young teens.

when I say she doesn't drink at home, she is allowed a glass of wine etc when we have it, but she doesn't want to

My teenage daughter has taken alcohol to parties and had alcohol when friends have slept over. We always pick her up and she has got to know how much she can drink and how quickly. She has only been a bit too drunk once.
Her friends mum doesn't let him drink. Over the summer he told her he was staying at a friend's and got completely smashed near a local river.

We went for a meal and ds at the bar when ordering food cheekily said oh mum ill have a bottle of becks.. The car staff said he can have an alcoholic drink with his meal but had to be a glass not a bottle? He chose vodka and lemonade.. They gave it to him.

They broke the law.

The law is that it must be normal strength beer, cider or wine and only one serving during the meal. Many pubs and pubcos (mine included) now use the right to refuse service to anyone in order to say "No, we only serve to over 18's as is our right". I still get parents waving their phones in my face saying "ITS THE LAW!!! SHE CAN HAVE A DRINK WITH HER DINNER!" and then admit that a) they havent bought ID so I wouldnt be able to serve it anyway as the person concerned could in younger than 16 (although I was once offered the birthday cake as evidence she was 16. To be fair, it did have her photo on) b) yes they do understand that I can refuse to serve anyone on any basis and c) they do understand that I need to know the law on this inside out in order to get and keep my personal license.

My parents used to send me out with Bacardi breezers at 15.

I have an almost 15 year old and the last couple of parties he’s been to, drink has been bought by parents. I wouldn’t send him with alcohol and I’m not keen on him going to these parties.. at all. However it is part of growing up, I did it, my siblings did it. We came to no harm. I let him have a bottle of beer at home if I make a roast on a Sunday because my parents did that with us so we didn’t go mad on the occasions we were around alcohol outside the home.. god I sound so old lol

PyongyangKipperbang I'm glad it's not just my restaurant that gets this. Someone actually cancelled their 17 year old's meal and took them to a local pub when we refused service before. I also have had people use balloons as proof of age

I should add that most pubcos now ban alcohol to under 18's because it is too easy to get it wrong.

It must be with a table meal. Define a table meal. Does a bowl of cheesy chips count? Or must it be a full dinner?

Alcohol strength varies a lot by brand too. A bar can have lagers with up to 1% difference, which one can a staff member serve? Same with wine. Some are 8%, some 13.5.

Too much risk, so we dont do it. The only place you are likely to get somewhere to serve you is a freehouse where the owner makes the rules and is prepared to take the risk.

My daughter went to a party when she was 14. Asked if she could take alcohol because " everyone else was " so I bought a couple of bottles of WKD for her- I figured that at I knew what she was drinking!
She lasted less than 2 hours before I had a call from another girl to go and collect her because she was vomiting in a bin and could barely walk. When I picked her up, there were kids being I'll everywhere. I was under the impression that adults would be there but they had taken themselves off to another part of the house and the party was in an annexe. The amount of booze there was unreal- bottles of spirits, liquers, beer, strong cider.....I couldn't believe it. An ambulance had to be called for one girl, she was so drunk. Turned out that my daughter handed over her bottles of WKD and never saw them again- she was handed a glass full of some alcoholic concoction that got her drunk very quickly! She's 16 now and hasn't touched alcohol since- she hated the feeling of being out of control and not knowing what was going on. My point is that it's other people they need to be wary of- she would have been ok with her 2 bottles of WKD but someone else thought it was ok to give her a mixture of everything else instead.

I think it depends on the 14 year old.

I remember going to my friends house for a sleepover with 2 cans of Woodpecker Cider my mum had bought for me (3.5%). I had strict instructions that they were the only thing I was allowed to drink - no spirits, no mixing drinks, once they were finished then that was it, it was discussed as a huge trust thing.

I went, had my two cans and then had lemonade because I knew if I did anything wrong then no more parties for me. I would have a drink maybe 3 or 4 times a year and was never, ever drunk because my parents trusting me made me feel like a grown up. The kids who weren't allowed to drink were the ones raiding the drinks cupboard, being sick and crying etc.

My parents would buy me a little 4-pack of blue WKD or similar to take to parties when I was 15/16. Only if it was definitely a ‘drinking’ party. I’d also be picked up at midnight

That said I cannot imagine providing any alcohol at that age now I have kids!

Depends what the alcohol is - I used to drink Smirnoff ice and WKD's when I was 14 at parties but my parents went crazy when they found out I'd had vodka and came home very drunk

Unihorn

Mad isnt it?! I always think it a bit sad too. They have lost that special "First legal drink in a pub" moment we can all have at 18, although I always made my kids buy me one too :o

Providing 14 year olds with alcohol? Utterly bizarre and irresponsible. From exactly the same school of thought as 'well I can't stop them having sex so I make sure they use protection' - yes you can stop them, as they are children.

I would never have allowed my DC to have alcohol at 14. Their friends' parents did allow alcohol. Not only that but they allowed my DC to take alcohol. I was quite surprised as the parents were in occupations like Doctor, several of them in fact and a social worker. I am totally against alcohol and the way things have turned out for my DC it is clear that my view of alcohol is correct.
There is nothing wrong with being teetotal.

yes you can stop them, as they are children.

:o:o

Good luck with that!

My mother had the same thoughts as you....that went well. Didnt stop us doing it, just taught us to lie better.

This thread is bonkers. It's not OK for a 14 year old to drink. Their brains are not ready for alcohol.

I'm really not that strict.

Me neither! I'm really laid back about most things, just don't see any need for kids to start drinking so young. Thankfully, dd doesn't appear to see the need either, and nor do her friends.

Her group of friends are generally quite creative about what they do, and they manage to have tons of fun without the alcohol. Most of them have quite full-on hobbies too. DD's theory is that the kids who drink are generally bored, don't do much outside of school and look to alcohol because they can't actually think of anything better to do. That, or they're just trying to fit in and look cool.

@aquamarine1 Sex doesn't pickle your child's brain.

chillykiwi his height/weight has nothing to do with his brain still being that of a developing child.

I get that but at 16 he would be allowed to have it bought for him in a restaurant so presumably it's not all that bad, he wasn't getting munted it was 4% cider and he had a small glass so I'm not losing any sleep over it, it'll be months before he has any again.

Just looked up the NHS guidance, it says a minimum of 15

www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/childrens-health/should-my-child-drink-alcohol/

My parents always said they would rather send me with alcohol, and know what I was drinking, than let me buy it in secret.

I used to take things like alcopops, it was nothing major. They'd have never sent me with vodka for instance. And it would only have been from when I was 16+ - I don't think my group of friends were particularly interested in parties before that age, so the issue didn't crop up.