To think, you don't send a 14yr old to a party with alcohol?

[christmasandcounting]

Why would people do this? Child has been invited to a party with other kids of the same age. All the parents are giving them booze to bring with them? WTH? Why would ppl do this? They are CHILDREN!

My daughter went to a party the other week and took cider for the first time she’s 15 next month it did feel weird for me buying it for her for the first time but I’ve worked with teenagers long enough to know I’ve had quite the reprieve as most of her year group have drank from 13, it’s an ofsted good rated comp in a very working class/deprived area. I’m intrigued to know if this is really unusual this day and age, as from the moment my kids went into comp I sharp had my eyes opened

14 seems a bit young but my parents were happy to get us some lager and cider in for my 16th, the idea being that we wouldn’t then try to buy it ourselves or seek out harder stuff. It was a special occasion, not a regular event. Where I live now, teens can legally have beer and wine from 16, most of them seem pretty sensible with it.

Mum bought me big bottles of cider for my birtgday party at 14. It was normal then, tbere was always alcohol at parties from about 14 on. I never drank too much at any of them and learned my tollerances well from it.

Can't believe people are all agreeing this is ok. At 14.

Thank you Georgia I feel we are in the minority though. I know people think that teens need to learn to drink sensibly but it doesn't seem to occur to people that no one actually needs to drink.
The healthiest attitude towards alcohol is to avoid it completely.
Incidentally I've not forbidden my children to drink. Ive presented them with the facts. I've done the safety talk e.g if your mate is mullered you must call an adult. Don't go mad on vodka etc.
I've also told my children how alcohol works on the brain and why people become drunk.
I don't drink at all so I wouldn't give them poison (which it is) when I won't put that shit in my own body.

14 is too young. It just is. IMHO.

although I was sneaking into bars at that age, but that was a very long time ago and no good came of it!

I think 14 is too young to supply your child with drink. Having said that, I’ve found out my child started taking drugs at 14, so I’ve obviously gone wrong somewhere. Who knows what’s right?!

I though this was a good idea too until I read this:
www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2019/04/01/think-youre-keeping-your-teenage-drinker-safe-think-again/

WTF...this can’t be real !?! 14 !!

My sister tried this on our mother at 14. ‘Everyone else will be bringing along alcohol’. Much to her surprise and delight, DM said ‘Sure! Why not? Here, have this bottle of Campari’, that a guest had brought and left behind.
DSis went off thinking she was the coolest, but came back crestfallen. None of her teen friends could stomach it.
My DM counts it as one of her greatest parenting wins.

Fairly normal in the day, nothing to get too frothed about. Teenagers always want to be seen to push boundaries, but it’s generally better to preempt them.

I'm so clenched in general but my 15 year old did take 3 bottles of weak cider to a party last week...single serve bottles....which I'd had in a cupboard for a year. Most of her friends took something. She told me her mate had a couple of beers to take and I gave her that.

She drank one and gave the other two away. I'm not worried.

"56Jossina

I though this was a good idea too until I read this:
www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2019/04/01/think-youre-keeping-your-teenage-drinker-safe-think-again/"

Great article.

I'd have no objection to a fourteen year old experimenting with alcohol in the family, but I wouldn't want and even-slightly-tipsy young teen out with friends.

I wouldn't. I remember being 14, funnily enough. I wouldn't encourage my child to get drunk - who on earth thinks that that's morally ok?

Excellent article Jossina. It explains it far better than I did.

My mum would have been horrified if I had of showed up to a party without my own supply of watermelon Bacardi breezers!

I’m with you OP.

Agree elfandsafekey. Dd 14 went to a party and i was miffed when the mum said she’d given her Rum and coke. Rum and coke? Lager maybe, but still not happy at that. Why would you do that? There were older girls there, but really? Why offer it to her? And then find that one of the 14 yr olds got tipsy amusing. No it’s not.

My parents brought me cider for my 13th birthday party.

No way was I doing that for my own DC. I do however buy him small amounts of vodka for him and his friends to drink from aged 16

At 14 my mum sent me to a party armed with a bottle of watermelon Bacardi breezer. She knew that others my age would be drinking. So she gave me that and trusted me. I returned home with the bottle intact. I did experiment with alcohol a lot in my teens a bit later on but I have never to this day been so drunk that I lost control, unlike my friends. I think she taught me a lesson there early on.

“There are so many myths, including this popular one: If I can teach them to drink at home, they’ll be fine. The idea of teaching teens to drink responsibly is misguided, he explains. A recent review of more than 20 studies on the topic concluded that teens given permission to drink at home are more likely to drink more frequently, and in higher quantities, outside the home. Teens who start drinking early often pay for it later in life. One oft-cited national study showed that people who use alcohol before age 15 are six times more likely to become alcohol dependent than those who begin drinking at age 21.

Alcohol has a negative effect on the developing teenage brain, more and more is being found out about this and really people should delay drinking alcohol as long as reasonable. At 14 you, hopefully, still have reasonable influence over your children and should be discouraging this.

www.drinkaware.co.uk/research/our-research-and-evaluation-reports/impact-of-alcohol-on-adolescents-brains-systematic-review/

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4321715/

Karaoke and castaway for my 14th birthday sleepover...fab night had by all. Can’t worry about it to be honest xx

Consider myself very liberal as a parent but I think 14 is way too young. 16, maybe ok depending o young person.
There is a well-documented causal relationship between early onset experimentation with alcohol and alcohol issues in adulthood.. this is also my lived experience.