Daughter wearing boys clothes. AIBU?

[Greydove28]

My daughter (9) just told me as we were leaving for school earlier she had an xmas party and was allowed to bring in party clothes. I said to go grab some clothes quickly and stick in the bag. She grabbed an old football shirt and some jeans. I said what about all the really nice dresses and shoes? She said she is boyish and likes this. I was like ok but feel a bit embarrassed. It was the same when we went to a xmas party at the club last week. She wore an old jumper and not any of the nice new xmas jumpers or trendy clothes- jumpsuits I have bought. My partner thinks I am bu and should just let her wear what she wants. AIBU?

So? I have always preferred wearing masculine clothes. I lived in footy shirts when I was her age. Grow up. Stop telling your DD she’s not girling right. My mum always did that that and it just bred resentment. Let her be who she is. What the fuck is wrong with girls wearing football shirts and jeans?

YABVVVVU.

My sons often ask me to paint their nails. I do. Why shouldn't I? Because they're boys!?!

If they asked me if they could wear a 'girly' outfit, I sure as shit wouldn't stop them.

I feel sorry for your daughter.

My youngest was exactly like this. Her and her best friend only wore boys clothes, and were very active and adventurous. The clothes were way more hardy and practical.

Fast forward to now. Shes 18 and goes out in clothes that horrify me. She doesn’t live at home anymore, so I just see the photos. Theres nothing tomboyish about them. Mores the pity...

My niece is like this. She is who she is! She loves football and wears her football kit all the time!

Makes no difference, her parents just let her get on with it. No point in forcing a square peg into a round hole. They are just clothes!!!

Let her choose. Boys clothes tbh are more comfortable as compared to girls. Their jeans are stretchier and shirts looser and longer as compared to girls clothes. As my DD's teacher says " if dresses were comfortable then boys would have been wearing them" . Take her shopping when you go next time.

Clothes are clothes, there's no such thing as boy's clothes and girl's clothes just clothes that some boys or some girls prefer to wear.

I never wanted to wear dresses either. I wore jeans or dungarees all of the time and I loved football shirts and trainers. My bedroom was blue, I hated dolls and pink. Mum always called me a tomboy but I just liked being comfortable tbh. Dresses and tights aren’t very practical, I still think this now as an adult. I most often wear trousers or jeans now rather than dresses and skirts. I don’t wear much make up either and have never had false nails. I don’t look like a man by any stretch , I’m just not massively ‘girly’ but it’s not a big deal.

Your DD is discovering her own sense of style, leave her to it.

She's 9... she's learning about puberty at school, her body is starting to develop and she's learning what she likes/doesnt like putting on her body.
Maybe you could suggest activity appropriate clothing? If she prefers trousers to skirts at the moment, suggest that jeans aren't always appropriate and ask her to chose something else that isn't denim.
Football tops are great but not Christmas themed. How about a t-shirt that's got some sort of festive cheer?
Jumpers are perfect for keeping warm but she'll get hot running about - suggest she looks for layers.
Some places ban trainers where as some ban pointy heels. Make sure she knows where to look for the rules so that she can plan her next event with confidence.
Just be grateful she isn't into glitter, that stuff is hell to get out of carpets!

My dd has her Christmas party today, she’s taken some trousers and a Pokemon tshirt, neither of my dd's wear dresses, I gave up trying a long time ago, both prefer joggers and t shirts 🤣

This is exactly the problem society faces that we have placed gender values onto things such as clothes. She presumably just grabbed stuff she wanted to feel comfortable in?

The problem is we have labelled stuff as being masculine and feminine rather than just letting people dress however they want. It’s society’s construct of gender that is the issue not biology

I'm with your dd. I wear dresses to funerals that's about it.

I live in Jeans. Fancy dresses are not practical for school. Stop buying her stuff she wont wear and doenst like. Let her choose some things she likes. Girls arent all dresses and jump suits us know. I'm fact Jeans/leggings and a massive hoody seem the be the main attire now.

YABU let her wear the style of clothes that she likes x

I don't understand why the clothes you are described are "boys clothes"? Everyone wears jeans, and why shouldn't a girl wear a football shirt? Wearing a football shirt hasn't done Alex Scott any harm.

As for wearing "trendy" stuff. Jeez, she has her whole life to worry about that sort of nonsense. Let her be a kid.

YABVU.

YABU.

How are jeans boys' clothes? Loads of women wear jeans and t-shirts. Are you from the 18th century?

If you're worried about her looking too casual, then find some smarter jeans for the future, but YABVU to say girls wearing jeans are wearing clothes that aren't for them.

I was the same. Til I was about 16 I literally didnt own a skirt and wore jeans/ joggers and hoodies. Even for weddings and parties the most I could be persuaded to wear was 'smart' jeans and a top.
Then I discovered boys / booze/ clubbing and it all changed.

I think its good she is focussed on comfort rather than appearance. I'd much rather that than make up etc

YADNBU… she’s a girl and should look like one.

What does a girl look like then? Are female football players not women because they wear football shirts and shorts?

My 14 year old daughter lives in hoodies and jeans. She even sleeps in tracksuit bottoms. I gave up buying her girly clothes when she was about 10 years old and I let her choose her own within reason - I did refuse to buy a jumper with a swear word on it!

Some girls just aren't into girly clothes. My older one however would never be seen outside the house until she was dressed up to the nines!

Unless the clothes require a penis to carry out their function then they are childrens clothes, not just boys or just girls clothes.

I suspect she won't be the only girl at the Christmas party putting comfort first.

They are not boys clothes. They are clothes.

What a load of crap OP.

If you're struggling for time to shop together, can you let her have a look at some clothes online and she can pick out the sort of items she likes?

Nine year old girls want to wear what they like, they are usually past the phase of being dressed up all pretty. Don't worry about it, quite normal.

@hellcarryingahandbag YADNBU… she’s a girl and should look like one

Why?

My 6yo at the moment prefers to wear a bright coloured skirt, with clashing bright tights... And a dinosaur jumper (from the boys section, she doesn't like the 'cute' dinosaurs with unicorn horns in the girls section).

YANBU to want her to dress up for a party, but dressing up doesn't mean dresses or jumpsuits (which are the most impractical clothing item invented). It can mean jeans with a smart top.