Same petty arguments-don't know who's right anymore.

[mummyrocks1]

DH have the same arguments about washing up continuously. It gets really petty and I am not sure who's right.

We have a rule that whoever cooks the other one does the washing up. Should be simple, but DH doesn't bother doing it in the evening after work and then struggles to get up and has a lie in until 8.8/30 and then runs out of time to do it. Saying that I should do it anyway as I don't work.

It's true I am a SAHM but I am studying at the moment. It's the holidays so I have the kids all day. He lists all the nice things I have done with them and how lovely life is well he works. It's true I have done nice things and taken them out but I ve also done a ton of things behind the scenes with Christmas, birthdays and ALL other household chores (except cleaning as we have a cleaner)

he does work but as a consequence only has two chores to do in the house. Put the recycling out and do the washing up. I sort everything else. He even moans about that.

I do the washing up for him regularly when he gets home late and is working hard. But I refuse to do it in cases like today when he's running late in the morning because he didn't get up until 8.30. He got back from work at 7.30 last night and then went to the pub so didn't get it done last night.

I also made mince pies with the kids yesterday and didn't get a chance to wash up. He's being petty saying he shouldn't have to do baking washing up, even though he's happy to tuck into the mince pies.

Am I in the wrong to expect him to do his two household chores without complaint? We constantly devalues any contribution I make as it's not bringing in money. But his working hours are generally 9.30-6.30/7 including travel.

I have to tidy up after him all the time, he takes days to put clothes away after himself, can't put things in the dishwasher or even put a label or envelope in the bin after himself as he's 'running late' all because he's disorganised.

I am fed up with the same argument.

Yes I am a qualified teacher so have a few options. I hope the course brings opportunities. One of the modules allows me to get the SENCO qualification too but not sure if I will do that yet.

I wish DH would think like that- it's not worth arguing about. It's a conversation we have had many times, just to leave the little things that annoy us about the other one. I do it, but he seems to find that hard.

Yes, he definitely wants a traditional wife model. Just like his upbringing. My upbringing was also like that but it's made me the opposite. We have always fought, even Pre-children, about the distribution of chores.

I will stick to my guns. I am not doing 100% of the chores. In fairness when I go back to work I think DH will step up and do school runs and other dc responsibilities. He is generally pro-active with the care of the dcs and does his bit- obviously I do more though.

We will have to have a chat about the distribution of chores when I go back to work. I have already said I am not doing everything I do now and working part-time. He knows he needs to help out more when that happens but I do think it will lead to more arguments.

I’m not really sure why you are asking on here. You’ve literally come up with an reason for anything that has been proposed. Sounds like you want people to agree he’s a twat to justify how you feel. You need to sort it out with him not justifying to everyone one MN why.

Yes, he definitely wants a traditional wife model. Just like his upbringing. My upbringing was also like that but it's made me the opposite. We have always fought, even Pre-children, about the distribution of chores.
Then be a modern wife, go back to work full time and insist on equal division of chores and childcare. Posters would be more sympathetic if you were not so entitled about your right to only work part time ( or not work at all). I did a Masters (Education) and worked full time. Lots of teachers do. Many schools have links with local universities and some of our sessions took place in Borough schools. I had school age children and a busy husband. We coped, I coped. I am afraid you do come across as very entitled. You want things on your terms. It makes me wonder if you have ever held down a full time teaching post for any length of time.

Yes I am a qualified teacher so have a few options.

What about teaching, then?

I really don't understand the 'freelance work dried up so I became a SAHM' angle if you're a qualified teacher.
I also don't understand why you need a Masters to be able to get a job. Or why your work history is so bitty that you can't get a proper reference.

@ GiveHerHellFromUs it’s all very strange.

I also don’t see why it took me asking about 4 times for the OP to answer whether or not she was a teacher!

One of the modules allows me to get the SENCO qualification too but not sure if I will do that yet.

You wouldn’t be able to do this without working as a senco/teacher in a school at the time to do the assignments.

Yes, he definitely wants a traditional wife model. Just like his upbringing. My upbringing was also like that but it's made me the opposite. We have always fought, even Pre-children, about the distribution of chores.

So you knew what he was like and what he wanted before you had children, and still chose to marry him and to have kids with him.

Come to think of it, most Masters in Education involve two school based research projects. I don't see how you would complete these without working in a school.

I am studying to get a better job and that's my only option at the moment. I am doing a masters in Special educational nerds. Going back to my old job isn't really an option.

Why is doing a dyslexia assessor course your only option when you’re a qualified teacher in the middle of a massive teaching recruitment and retention crisis?

As an aside-how are you finding the course, @mummyrocks1?

I seriously looked into doing it but after quite a bit of research on the SEN FB group I’m on, decided against it. It sounded like there was a high drop out rate as well as failure rate. It was also expensive so I didn’t want to risk paying out all that money and having nothing to show for it.

What’s the workload like-assignments/case studies etc and have you had to buy all your own tests/licences? Please feel free to PM if you wanted to-I am genuinely interested in hearing more about the content.

I don't want to go back into mainstream teaching, I hated it in the end. Too many hours and pressure and that was before having dcs. I felt like nothing was ever good enough.

My assignments are based in school, I was able to find a local placement who bit off my hand to go in.

The course is very interesting but very intense. I am finding the workload a lot but manageable as I am not working. But only by working 9-3 pretty much four dats a week. Some people on the course are working full time. God knows how they are managing. I am learning lots and enjoying it but It's very demanding we are excepted to do things with very little instruction in lectures and there is lots of theory. We are now going into the practical bit which is much appealing to me.

Thanks for recognising it's a hard course- it is. I have been told the next 12 months will be intense.

Haven't had to buy any test papers yet as only in the first term but will need to at the end. Heard it is an investment but feel confident it would pay.

I am lucky that I don't need to work full time so a happy medium seems for me to work part time. I don't think we would be able to hold everything together if I worked full time too. DH can be relied on for childcare. That way I can do the majority of the household things and allow DH to concentrate on building the business (but not 100% of things) and be there to do the school run and allow the children to have clubs and play dates after school.