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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

PTA Mum acting entitled at school nativity

204 replies

nutcrackered · 19/12/2019 23:33

I've been thinking about this and wondered if AIBU for thinking pta mum is a cf or if she is.

Wednesday morning was my child's first nativity (reception age). It was in the school hall. Ticketed and people had been queuing outside in the bitter cold for a really long time before it started. The school didn't let anybody in until the minute it said on the ticket.

Nativity started at 9.15 which is when people went inside. People were queuing so I'm told from about 8.10am. By 8.25 there was quite a bit of a que already. One of the other mums who I have seen organising a lot of pta things arrived at about 8.30 with her husband and walked right past everybody else in the que and went inside. When we all went in they were sat on the front row and looked like they had been for some time, I don't know what makes them so special that they don't have to wait like the other parents,
AIBU to think this is so rude and entitled?

OP posts:
GuyFawkesDay · 19/12/2019 23:35

Maybe they were helping organise things?
At our school PTA put on mince pies and drinks before the nativity.

You help, you get in early.

StealthPolarBear · 19/12/2019 23:36

People were queueing outside for over a hour?!

Bettyknocker · 19/12/2019 23:37

Is it possible they helped organise parts of it? So maybe they were helping just before and then just sat down? We had ours last week and before it I helped out set up the Xmas fair in the room next door, the head told me to go straight through and wait for everyone else. Maybe something like this?

Itcouldhappentoyou · 19/12/2019 23:40

Maybe she had been invited as a guest by the school as a thank you for the work she does?

Wildorchidz · 19/12/2019 23:40

I don't know what makes them so special that they don't have to wait like the other parents

In my kids school the PTA did a lot of work at Christmas events which meant arriving early to help set up, sort costumes etc..
Maybe you will get a chance to be on the PTA. It can be a very rewarding experience.

cadburyegg · 19/12/2019 23:42

I think YABU, here if you help out at the nativities you get to arrive early and pick your seats. Seems fair to me, I’m not one of the helpers btw

ButterflyBook · 19/12/2019 23:43

I was a pta mum and volunteered to warm up and put out all the free mince pies for after the show plus stay and clean up afterwards. I managed to slip into a front row seat as well. Them's the breaks.

Freddiefox · 19/12/2019 23:46

A friend of mine kicked off over another friend of mine getting front row tickets, 2nd friend had helped out loadsover the year and helped with tea and coffee for the nativity play. I asked her why she hadn’t volunteered, she said she couldn’t be bothered.

Can’t see the problem myself.

5foot5 · 19/12/2019 23:46

If it was ticketed why were people queuing for over an hour. Surely if you already had a ticket it meant that you could get in even if you turned up five minutes before.

The only reason I can think why anyone would be there so early is to bag a place on the front row. But surely when it is obvious from the length of the queue that this is not going to happen you could go have a coffee and come back at 9:10am

Yubaba · 19/12/2019 23:47

When I was on the PTA I made all the costumes for my ds1 nativity play when he was in year 1, I also used to help making brews and serving mince pies, I always got a front row seat.
He’s in year 6 now and thank goodness his school only do nativity plays in KS1.

DramaAlpaca · 19/12/2019 23:47

Yep, if you help with the organisation you get the perks. That's how it works.

Takeyoutothemovies · 19/12/2019 23:48

Mate at our school they get first come first served parents evening appointments!!!!

Half of them don’t bloody work so not sure why they need the prime time appts.

Front row seats at the nativity is the least of it

wobytide · 19/12/2019 23:49

Queuing for an hour for a ticketed nativity? I take it there isn't a Costa coffee nearby?

Welcome to reception, by year 6 you'll be turning up at 9.16

AwakeAmbs · 19/12/2019 23:50

So glad I don’t have to deal with this playground behaviour among adults.

teentree · 19/12/2019 23:51

Why were people queuing for over an hour Confused

Londonmummy66 · 19/12/2019 23:52

When my DC were in KS1 there were a load of parents who turned up early and reserved the front couple of rows at everything. When it came to Yr 2 nativity a group f us did the costumes etc. We were so hacked off we reserved the front row for us in the afternoon (it started at 6pm). They were livid but it was pointed out we had actually done something rather than just turning up early...

GlummyMcGlummerson · 19/12/2019 23:52

I work in a school and can well believe people queue for their darling's nativity for over an hour.

If she's PTA she probably did a lot of stuff to help with the nativity, I think a front row seat is fair

BackforGood · 19/12/2019 23:53

Fairly normal practice for people who give up their free time to help at events and to support the school in carious ways, to be invited as a guest to concerts etc. You'll often find Governors get reserved seats too. At my dcs' events, they used to invite the lollipop lady in to a reserved seat to.
Completely reasonable IMO.

Chickenitalia · 19/12/2019 23:55

This week I have spent 15 hours at school raising funds for my kids and their friends to have nice things, completely unpaid. Not to mention the hours at meetings and running around town buying the prizes, printing off posters, arranging games for the fair. And yes the school staff know me as a result of this, because I sign the cheques and make sure the gifts for the staff and kids are in school ready for them. Oh and I also work and do other voluntary things in the community. Just in case you thought I was a sahm and therefore beneath you.

You’re damn right I got front row seats at the Christmas event. Perhaps you might consider doing the same?

Mummymummums · 19/12/2019 23:55

I think fair enough when they're giving a lot of time. However at our school one of the PTA mums reserved 8 seats in front row - for herself, husband and both sets of grandparents plus 2 other mum friends. That was extreme cf'iness imo.

Welshmaenad · 20/12/2019 00:01

I get a front row seat reserved at the school Christmas play because I'm a governor,

Anyone else who wants one is welcome to run for the next vacancy and give up shitloads of their free time for termly meetings, AGMs, committee meetings, book looks, site inspections, head teacher interviews...feel free.

babygrootandstarlord · 20/12/2019 00:05

YABU. If she is on PTA she probably did a lot of work to help out with the nativity and/or other events throughout the year. I think people often underestimate how much time and effort things like this take for the volunteers.

Recently I volunteered for an extracurricular event for one of my DCs. Had to take a day of annual leave before the event to do the set up. Arrived on the day at 5am, worked until midnight, and missed two of the three shows because I was working. I reserved myself a seat (not even a good seat, just a decent one) for one of the shows, while I was running around getting things done, and arrived back to find someone trying to move the reserved sign off my seat because they wanted to sit there. Cue them kicking off because I "had the nerve" to reserve a seat when they had "definitely been ahead of me in the queue" Hmm

marchingonwithmother · 20/12/2019 00:08

@babygrootandstarlord why didn't you reserve yourself a good seat?

OP YABU

Longdistance · 20/12/2019 00:10

My dh is a Governor in Dds school, he gets front row seats and a red carpet —not really— I generally go and have the last row so I can stand up and video/take pictures.
The PTA parents may well have helped.

MrsBungle · 20/12/2019 00:13

I got a front row reserved seat because I’m chair of governors. I give hours and hours and hours of my time voluntarily to school.

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