PTA Mum acting entitled at school nativity

[nutcrackered]

I've been thinking about this and wondered if AIBU for thinking pta mum is a cf or if she is.

Wednesday morning was my child's first nativity (reception age). It was in the school hall. Ticketed and people had been queuing outside in the bitter cold for a really long time before it started. The school didn't let anybody in until the minute it said on the ticket.

Nativity started at 9.15 which is when people went inside. People were queuing so I'm told from about 8.10am. By 8.25 there was quite a bit of a que already. One of the other mums who I have seen organising a lot of pta things arrived at about 8.30 with her husband and walked right past everybody else in the que and went inside. When we all went in they were sat on the front row and looked like they had been for some time, I don't know what makes them so special that they don't have to wait like the other parents,
AIBU to think this is so rude and entitled?

Yep. Once we'd set up the chairs, put out the raffle stuff, (prizes the PTA had sourced -I admit, i wasn't involved in that), set out everything needed for refreshments, (which a PTA member had shopped for), boiled the kettles and had everything ready, I reserved myself a decent seat.
I then served refreshments to the parents, and slipped into my seat as the performance began.
Second it was finished, I went and washed up and cleared away.

Did we feel guilty for making sure we had seats?
Nope.

Disillusioned an awful lot of the people who can't be bothered to help out for the benefit of their children are areseholes. None of our PTA are arseholes and attitudes like yours are really sad. It's truly a thankless task at times but none of the children are complaining when they have extra equipment, books and opportunities.

And this is why we randomly assign seat number for nativity tickets

@Doyoumind In my experience a lot of PTA parents are arseholes. I'm not saying all parents in all schools but I have had very negative experiences. One friend had a child who was horrendously bullied by the child of a PTA mum and the whole thing was massively brushed over by the school because the teachers and parents were friends who socialised in and out of school. It wasn't fair at all.

I volunteer with trips and whatnot when I can (I also work) so please don't assume I don't help the school but having volunteered on the PTA for a short time when my dc were small I found it incredibly bitchy and awful
And would never want to go back there. All parents and kids should be given the same opportunities at school not be some sort of pathetic adult clique.

Again, not saying this is how it is in all schools but certainly in my experience it isn't pleasant

Yabu

Primary school PTA chair here - to be fair, no reserved nativity seats here, but I echo what others have said. The PTA give up massive amounts of their personal time to organise and run events for the benefit of all children at the school. We are a big school (500 pupils roughly) for this area and consistently have about 8 members helping out, pleas for extra help with larger events tend to drum up maybe another 3-4 non PTA helpers. There is a lot of behind the scenes work, our meetings are in the evenings, because - shocker - we are all mums that work. I have a busy professional job and still make the time for it, nativity seats or not more parents should be wanting to help out

ps our PTA group is lovely and not at all cliquey. Another PTA stereotype that puts people off joining in

Agree with everything @TinkysWinky said. Same experience here - I could have written your post!

Did we feel guilty for making sure we had seats?
Nope

I wouldn't expect anyone who thinks it's ok receive something in return for their voluntary work to feel guilty.

Front rows are reserved for PTA in our school. Not many ‘perks’ for giving up hours of your time during the year to raise pitiful amounts of money for the school, but front row seats are one of them!

I am chair of my 2 sons primary school pta. I give up hours of my spare time for free organising events and setting things up, chaperoning school trips, walking to the pool and back on my day off too. School always ask me to help with stuff and they are very grateful for it. I get a seat on the front row reserved at all my kids assemblies/nativities, don't feel remotely guilty about it either . Being part of the pta is very rewarding, give it a try, they'll be very grateful, I'm forever sending begging emails and facebook posts looking for volunteers. I knew no one on my pta when I went along to offer help, have made a great bunch of friends from it now.

At our school (senior) if people help out at events they get to reserve a seat (otherwise they would be helping and end up with no (or a rubbish) seat which would not be fair at all). Maybe start to help out with the PTA rather than griping about them.

This is normal and expected from some PTA members, it's one of the perks for helping.
I used to stand at the back as can't see unless I'm on the front or behind a child anyway.

When DSs were in primary school used to put a couple of seats in the silent auction at Christmas Fair. Always raised a lot of money

She probably put in all the effort organising and therefore deserves a little special attention - you are a cf for presuming that these things organise themselves imo.

Yabu. They deserve some perks!

Pta who help out have reserved front row seats here too.

Our school never, ever puts enough chairs out and this year dd's class weren't let in til way after the other years so we were queued right near the back even though we had been waiting outside the school doors for 10/15 mins before they let them in. Pretty annoying tbh but what cab you do? It was her last year, I won't really miss them tbh!!!!

I think that's a little appreciation shown by the school for PTA folk.

What I don't think is fair is when the kids of the PTA parents are getting chosen for the best roles/special events/best clubs year after year. Completely unfair on the kids, and they will notice.. Happened at my son's previous school, not been at this one long enough yet to know - we'll see.

PTA is a bloody thankless job. It costs me hours of my time every week to keep things running. This time of year with fetes, raffles, Santa photos, coffee mornings etc it's a part-time job, I have been in school for 2-6 hours a day. Fete day I was in for 12 hours. I am also a governor. We can get seats reserved although I never have. PTA takes up significantly more of my time than Governors does.

We often help out in other ways too. Like setting up for concerts because they staff help support our events so we support them, we also sell tea and coffee and raffle tickets so yes I'm there early and that had meant I have saved myself some seats (not front row) because I'm not there to get them myself.

I sat at the very last row this time to just to avoid the bitchy parents who always have some complaint about the PTA yet can never even give up an hour of their own time to help out with anything.

My sons old primary, the front row was reserved for pta and family/friends of.... twas a bit like that with everything sadly.... think his new primary is very much first come first served, whole different ball game and a much nicer atmosphere to boot...doesn't really answer your question, just empathising with you

Im a pta member. I get a front row seat when I do the teas etc as else id end up right at the back otherwise. However I help out at all the year groups and only get a seat at all at my own childs. The pta is actually a lot of work, got to be some perks

Jesus some of the rude replies on this! It depends on the situation. Some people may be working 50 hours a week/nightshift/caring responsibilities/disabilities and may not be able to help on the PTA. I know the PTA at my daughters primary school didn’t have to work so were able to help and hobnob with the teachers/board of governors and talk loudly about this in Sainsbury’s so everyone could hear how wonderful they were. I donate financially to my child’s school but couldn’t sit on PTA as I have to work to survive. I don’t get a seat at prizegiving unlike the gym going PTA mothers. So, in my area the PTA are entitled bores who help because they think they’ll make contacts so their kids will get a hand up in the world. If your situation is similar to mine YANBU

Because being the pta is hard, often thankless work making the school better for all our kids. They deserve front row seats. If you don't want to wait in line, you need to step up and be on the pta. Organise a ton of stuff, cajole people week in week out, give up Saturdays to set up fairs, evenings to stiff envelopes, count cash etc.
You sound mean spirited and entitled yourself.

She probably set up the bloody seats!

Also, it’s queue.