PTA Mum acting entitled at school nativity

[nutcrackered]

I've been thinking about this and wondered if AIBU for thinking pta mum is a cf or if she is.

Wednesday morning was my child's first nativity (reception age). It was in the school hall. Ticketed and people had been queuing outside in the bitter cold for a really long time before it started. The school didn't let anybody in until the minute it said on the ticket.

Nativity started at 9.15 which is when people went inside. People were queuing so I'm told from about 8.10am. By 8.25 there was quite a bit of a que already. One of the other mums who I have seen organising a lot of pta things arrived at about 8.30 with her husband and walked right past everybody else in the que and went inside. When we all went in they were sat on the front row and looked like they had been for some time, I don't know what makes them so special that they don't have to wait like the other parents,
AIBU to think this is so rude and entitled?

Everyone on our PTA works. We volunteer in addition. Still don’t get front row seats though. Shall I throw my tantrum now?

We used to have seats reserved in the front row for PTA and school governors.

Lol I misread that as PITA

No one on our governing board would accept a reserved front row seat to watch their child. We attend as parents, not governors. It’s a bit of a piss take if you ask me.

Yabu
I was a Governor at my dcs school. Spent many years volunteering at many events. At the school nativity I was given front seats. I definitely deserved it
Many of the parents on the PTA devote a lot of time and energy helping the school and your children. Don’t begrudge them a front row seat

At one point I lived at my daughters school helping out with stuff. I then got pregnant with my son and had an excuse to stop helping out with admin and discos etc.

There's nothing wrong with PTA volunteers being able to have a seat. From dds school they get whinged at all the time, I wasn't on dds but helped a friend who was on the pta (a working mum with a full-time job fwiw) set up stalls for the sports day and not one parent outside of the PTA would give up any of the time to help set up or put away but almost every fucker had an opinion on how it should have been set up and did nothing but twist.

They deserve front row seats for putting up with that shit from parents who won't help out but sit and twist about how they should have done this or that. Often the same parents complaining about the PTA having a seat for nativities thinking the rules don't apply are often the same ones taking photos and recording the show after explicitly being told several times they can't do that.

Majority of the PTA at dds primary were working mums parents too.

They also introduced a few things which really impacted children of working parents negatively too.

Like what?

Majority of the PTA at dds primary were working parents too.

What’s your point? That people who give work as a reason to be unable to help should be ashamed? That if you aren’t working you should volunteer?

People have different lives. It isn’t always possible to have the time to volunteer. A working mum can be someone who does 9-5 in the local shop, or can be someone who works shifts at the hospital. I live an hour from where I work and I finish at 6. How am I supposed to make fortnightly meetings at 6 at the school? A SAHM might have a partner who works odd hours and has no-one to watch the kids at 6pm. Or could have caring responsibilities for a family member.

Nobody should judge anyone else for not volunteering.

If I've helped make costumes and then dress the kids in the morning I perhaps wouldn't swan in like lady of the manor but I would expect a reserved seat for me and my DH.

PTA members and their friends are often putting in hours of work in the weeks around Christmas fete, nativity, church visits, santa visits, cooked cookies with the children, helped sort xmas lunch and the list goes on.

Its starting to irritate me the bad mouthing these volunteers get on mumsnet. How do you think your school pays for tennis rackets, books, footballs, laptops, outdoor shelter at playtime? Its not coming from the government that's for sure.

I had this as an AIBU once. I was told by most that it was unreasonable
Went to a school assembly and arrived 5 mins before curtains up. All the chairs were taken so I stood at the side along with a couple of other people. Upon seeing the gathering at the side the teaching staff grabbed a few more chairs and made a new front row and motioned for us to sit down. So we did.
You should have heard the uproar. The parents behind muttered that they had been there since 8am! I was told it was unreasonable to have sat there but a helpful poster pointed out that there would have been a ridiculous scramble for everyone to move forward one row if we didn't.
So yes in my experience people do arrive ridiculously early for school performances. I loathed them. 30 kids singing off key is not a way I enjoy spending my time

@MrsEnglishh

what a helpful contribution. I bet you feel very clever and pleased with yourself!

I'm on the pta, I get there early on nativity day to help sell teas and mince pies to raise funds for the school. Ive never reserved a space, we tend to head in last and stand at the back.
After this thread maybe I will start to reserve myself a space, didn't realise there would be so much recognition for the many hours spent volunteering by us. Certainly doesn't seem that way in real life!

YANBU I was on the PTA committee and a Parent Governor. I would not expect any such treatment and it gives the PTA a bad name. I would be pissed off to. I always slunk to the back anyway but that's not the point. I also did my fair share of pulling my weight at events.

Its starting to irritate me the bad mouthing these volunteers get on mumsnet.

Im a great believer in the volunteer movement but Ive always been of the opinion that a person volunteers because something needs done, that any volunteer who thinks they're entitled to a perk because of the work they do is a concept that goes against the spirit of volunteering in the first pace.

People queue early to try and get front row seats.

PTA parents often help at these events so get in early.

What happens when PTA members start reserving seats for grandparents etc?

You don't volunteer to get benefits and front row seats. That sours the whole relationship to me and what makes people not join the PTA in the first place.

My biggest grump is when governors and the like get front row seats. I say this aa a governor and I always give mine up for parents who wish to see their children perform.

From my experience of two schools PTAs vary massively. One PTA was full of people working really hard to put on nice events for the kids and provide extras for the school and often ended up getting moaned at by people who never bothered to help out for a second even when they could have easily spared the time. The other school PTA was a really cliquey group of women who wanted to act as gatekeepers between school staff and other parents. They resented any offer of help and planned events entirely to reflect well on them rather than make some money or actually involve any fun for the kids. I think my reaction to front row seats would probably depend on which variety of PTA you have at your school.

YABU. I work full time and help the PTA of our village primary school. There are plenty of entitled feckers who do absolutely fuck all and claim that they are FAR to busy to help, then whinge when the PTA get let in to the school play a bit early.

front seats would IMO be more than fine for parents who'd helped on that production specifically but i'd be annoyed to see the places given out just for, y'know, general reasons. i know that PTAs do important work but [and i say this as someone who does quite a bit of PTA stuff] they aren't exactly known for their inclusivity or welcomingness, and often amount to basically ego trips for their members.

Love the pp who said that by year 6 you will arriving at 914...so so true!

Our DS first nativity in reception had a similar set up and the queue was pretty long. I think they queued from 8.30 until 9.15. DH and I turned up at 9.14. I'm disabled and can't stand in queues for a long time, so we just accepted we'd be at the back. I was dreading having to ask for a seat if none were available.

We walked in and were ushered to the front row where reserved signs had been placed, on proper sized chairs no less, by the deputy head. Because she knew I was disabled and was making it easy for me. I was very grateful and also mortified.

Dont forget that not all disabilities are visible.

OP didn’t come back?

Totally normal at my school. Fair play to them. If OP wants to spend hours setting up
the Christmas and summer fairs, clearing up after, phoning business for raffles tickets, manning stalls - etc etc etc... I’m sure they’d love her help.

(Not PTA myself, not biased)

Bloody hell, an hour! People are mad! I'm going to go ahead and assume she helped out with organising something and that's why she went in early.
With our school Xmas concert parents who helped walk the kids to the venue 2 hours before got the best seats as they went and helped. The rest of us queued outside to get in ( 15 mins before BTW not a sodding hour!) Seemed fair to me, they had given up their time to walk all the kids there...
If you help you get perks, if you don't then you queue. Same for all events at our sschool. Helping usually means you're inside early.