PTA Mum acting entitled at school nativity

[nutcrackered]

I've been thinking about this and wondered if AIBU for thinking pta mum is a cf or if she is.

Wednesday morning was my child's first nativity (reception age). It was in the school hall. Ticketed and people had been queuing outside in the bitter cold for a really long time before it started. The school didn't let anybody in until the minute it said on the ticket.

Nativity started at 9.15 which is when people went inside. People were queuing so I'm told from about 8.10am. By 8.25 there was quite a bit of a que already. One of the other mums who I have seen organising a lot of pta things arrived at about 8.30 with her husband and walked right past everybody else in the que and went inside. When we all went in they were sat on the front row and looked like they had been for some time, I don't know what makes them so special that they don't have to wait like the other parents,
AIBU to think this is so rude and entitled?

Seats aren't held for our PTA or helpers BUT if they are there early at an event helping out beforehand then yes they will get to sit where they want before the hoards come in.

I'm a governor and do get a front row seat. I give a lot of time and energy to the school year round so they invite me to sit at front for DDs play. I won't feel guilty about that

I got a reserved front row seat at my DCs nativity last year because I'd just had major surgery (as in just been discharged the day before). I couldn't stand in the queue and if I'd got there last minute there wouldn't have been any seats left. I spoke to the pastoral lead and she sorted it for me.
So maybe it is because she's on the PTA, or maybe it's because of something that's nobody else's business.

I think more humility in society would a very good thing. My friend's mum was a member of their PTA. She didn't have to wait out in the cold, BUT she would never have sat in the front row, she would have regarded that as taking advantage of her position. Which it is.

Even though one is 'entitled' to something, it doesn't mean you have to take it.

Parents on chemotherapy and PTA members got front row reserved seats at my DC Christmas shows. No one had any problem with it. The chair of the PTA spends 10-15 hrs a week minimum - UNPAID - for the school. She should get a throne.

Well said Jux!

I don't understand why anyone would queue for an hour to get into a school nativity! Arriving 5 minutes before would be my maximum. It isn't a West End theatre production.

The alpha mums at ds primary school thought they were entitled to everything, they thought they were the Bee's Knees. The happiest day was the day he left to move up to secondary school & I knew that I would never see any of them again as ds was going to the local school instead of the catholic one.

I’m nearly 6 months pregnant and these types of threads make me terrified to be a mum. It’s like going back to school.

When I did my stint on the PTA it was first come, first served for us, as it was for everyone else. There was no early queue because the front row was always taken up by a large extended family of CFers, who'd reserve both front rows for themselves by spreading out coats, scarves and death stares. You'd see them chatting outside in the street as you went by, all confident that Auntie W and Granny D were holding their plum positions. If I had any reason at all to be in the hall or adjoining kitchen on PTA business, I used to plonk my own coat in the middle of the front row just to piss off the Cheeky-Fucker family.

The Cheeky-Fuckers are still going strong years later with a new generation of CFers, but a new HT got wise to their shenanigans and now makes sure a fair proportion of the front row is reserved for governors and other volunteers, most of whom are slightly mortified to be there without a child in the performance.

The point is that PTA members can’t actually join the queue if we are selling drinks and raffle tickets.
So should we stand in a queue for an hour or raise £1500 in 1 week for the school?
I don’t do it to get a seat at the front, I cover 6 or so performances and my child is only in 2 of those but if I’m there setting up I’m putting my coat on a front row seat and that’s that

Anybody can volunteer to help the PTA. You don't have to give lots of time, or help at every single event.

Maybe volunteer to help yourself next year & then you won't have to queue in the cold for an hour either.

Coeee OP where are you?

The point is that PTA members can’t actually join the queue if we are selling drinks and raffle tickets.

The answer is that simple. OP spends the hour queueing. PTA parent spends it putting chairs out etc

I don't know what makes them so special that they don't have to wait like the other parents

They will have been helping organise the nativity/refreshments:costumes/hymn sheets or similar.

What’s your point? That people who give work as a reason to be unable to help should be ashamed? That if you aren’t working you should volunteer?

I don't think anybody should be ashamed at all and I don't judge anybody for not volunteering wether they work or not. People should do it if they want to and are able. There were a few previous posts that seemed to have undertones that ptas are made up of mostly SAHP who have the time. That's not the case and I don't think it's unfair.

I do think it's rude of the parents who did nothing but complain and criticise the PTA at dds school and stand watching them run about like blue arsed flies sorting stalls and shit and complaining about how it should be organised and how they need to do this and that when they could have helped.

I wasn't on the PTA myself so I can hardly judge anyone else who isn't, I don't think those who do volunteer should be judged as entitled either though.

Hi OP, it was my DD carol service on Tuesday. I do a bit for the PTA and turned up at the Church an hour early to light candles, put out lanterns etc. I was then offered a seat at the front by the Head. Im sure to anyone queuing it would have appeared that I was 'special' but the reality was I had been freezing my bits off earlier. Don't judge.

Because they bust a gut for the school!!! We get priority seating for the shows because we are usually selling tickets for something so cant queue ... I don't understand the vitriol for pta mums . They do loads for the good of your kids .

Maybe she was helping out in some way?

It's hard to understand why anyone would begrudge people who put in hours for free to help the school, first choice of seats at a play, or tickets for a play, or first pick at the second hand uniform stall.

Often the people who are quickest to complain are those who are least supportive of the school in all kinds of ways - and actually it is often they who behave in an entitled way - entitled to be benefit and have their children benefit from the efforts of others......but they see no irony there.

The odd PTA person might be a bit queen-beeish, but again those who like to criticise are often those who don't do anything. Organising and running things does require organising others and making decisions, and often others don't like that, even though they aren't willing to do it themselves. Too many people seem rather small minded and quick to cOmplain and criticise - but they are probably also the people who moan about all aspects of the school - the teachers, the head, the facilities, any requests for trip money etc etc.....often being negative about all kinds of things and expecting everything to be provided with zero effort from themselves - seems more entitled than the PTA folk.

Lets be honest...a lot of the PTA mums are arseholes though

Yeah but a lot of people are arseholes aren't they. PTA or not

I don’t begrudge the pta parents getting front row seats as they do a lot for the school but.. I do resent them reserving loads of seats for grandparents and mates that’s taking the piss!

I work in a school and we place Reserved signs specially on the front row so that the PTA Mums who volunteer to do the teas and coffees at the end get a decent seat...