PTA Mum acting entitled at school nativity

[nutcrackered]

I've been thinking about this and wondered if AIBU for thinking pta mum is a cf or if she is.

Wednesday morning was my child's first nativity (reception age). It was in the school hall. Ticketed and people had been queuing outside in the bitter cold for a really long time before it started. The school didn't let anybody in until the minute it said on the ticket.

Nativity started at 9.15 which is when people went inside. People were queuing so I'm told from about 8.10am. By 8.25 there was quite a bit of a que already. One of the other mums who I have seen organising a lot of pta things arrived at about 8.30 with her husband and walked right past everybody else in the que and went inside. When we all went in they were sat on the front row and looked like they had been for some time, I don't know what makes them so special that they don't have to wait like the other parents,
AIBU to think this is so rude and entitled?

I'm in two minds about this.

On the one hand it's nice to be acknowledged for volunteering.

However the emphasis should be on the word volunteering.

My DD does lots of volunteering for school functions plus loads of behind the scenes things.

She would never in a million years waltz past a queue of people who had been waiting in the cold for an hour and claim front row seats.

Most times she doesn't actually get to see the concert because she's out the back changing costumes etc.

A friend volunteers at a food bank and they are allowed to take home huge amounts of food at the end of their shift. She doesn't need it but takes it because it's expected of her.

To my mind, when you volunteer for something there shouldn't be an expectation of a reward at the end of it.

8.10 is a strange time to queue, surely at that time you are either still at home, travelling to school or if u really are that early you are supervising your kids. Anyway being on tne PTA is a thankless role. During tne time I did it we got parents complaining that the school fair was rubbish, the discos where rubbish, we ran out of hot food at the christmas market. We spent months organising the events on top of running them and fundraising to buy everyone else's kids Christmas treats from santa. If people don't like the end results they should volunteer themselves. OP the PTA deserve those seats 100 times over.

Ask her, hey I saw you got a front seat at the nativity just asking what do I need to do to get a front seat next year?

Just ask and say, if i help out next year can I get a seat too. It was cold waiting outside blah blah (Subtext: I’d help to get around the cold) etc etc

I help on our PTA. It is endless. A handful of people do EVERYTHING for the benefit of every single child n the school not just my own.

The CF that complain about everything amaze me. They are usually the ones who never put their hand in their pocket, never give up their precious time to help out, never send in a bloody biscuit but feel very entitled to bitch and moan about the "entitled" women who actually do something to help THEIR child as well as their own. Honestly - just think a bloody minute about what you are saying....

I can't understand why parents want the front seats for a school play. The back row seats are much better. You get to stand up to watch your prince/princess deliver their lines (or be back row choir) - without other parents bitching.

I wouldn't queue at 8am to watch any A list singer/group. I'd definately be at the end of the queue for a primary school nativity concert.

My feelings on the scenario in the OP depend entirely on what the PTA is like.

I thought this too but OP does say the mum organises alot of PTA things. I agree with pps, probably a reverse.

@nutcrackered

Parents who do volunteer at the school do get preferential treatment I'm afraid. I used to when I was a classroom assistant at my daughters school. Why don't you start helping out and things might be different next year.

E had the same almost words for word except pta family went in and used costs and children to reserve 6 seats. Some of their family turned up minutes before the nativity started. Only 1 of them was supposed to help with tickets and they stood talking to the head. Cheeky fuckers.

*we.. Coats and children

She wasn’t acting entitled - she was entitled! The fact she went into the school early tells you she was invited to do so.

People are absolutely barmy. It’s your child’s nativity, not a £100 a ticket showing of the latest Westend show. Why were you all queuing in the freezing cold for an hour? That’s just crazy. Maybe this is because your child is in reception and I’m assuming it’s your first child. Mine are older now and I really don’t care about front row seats or PTA parents (wouldn’t even know who they were).

@nowaypose

I agree ... I remember when video's were banned at my son's nativity and everyone was up in arms about it. The school did offer a video for sale which would go towards school funds but some of the parents were furious about it.

In our primary the kids of the PTA got special status too. Not everyone can join it’s for SAHMS really.

Its surprising to read the replies from volunteers who are of the opinion that volunteering is about what they can get out of it in return.

Do people realise that the PTA do things that benefit their children and if they didn’t, their children and their parents would get less.

Do people realise that the PTA do things that benefit their children and if they didn’t, their children and their parents would get less

Yes.

Im a mum and grandma many times over and familiar with the role of the PTA but it's no different to any other kind of volunteer work in that it's not about giving to get anything in return.

This is the most Mumsnet title for a thread, ever. Well done op! Fwiw, she probably helped out so yabu. Even better if it’s a reverse!

This term our pta have -

Applied for grants totalling £17,000. Won £13000 so far.
Sourced new playground equipment and ordered it.
Organised the Christmas fête.

Run 2 other events, including shopping for items for said events.
Sewn new costumes for 4 shows.
Sourced prizes for raffles
Served drinks at 10 events
Helped out with kids Christmas parties
Bought trees for the school

Next term we have a whole school sponsored event
A disco
A pizza party
2 volunteers running sponsored races
We will continue applying for grants, sourcing grants and finding support for the school.

All our pta members work at least 30 hours per week. Most have elderly relatives, children and other volunteer commitments.

Damned right we deserve a seat near the front. We won't have seen our kids at the various events because we are too busy running them.

I’m not on the PTA but I had a front seat reserved for me so my son could see me. This is because my son is under assessment for ASD. His teacher and TA have worked very hard to even get him to be a part of the nativity. He didn’t have lines, he didn’t sing but he sat beautifully.

Were you the woman made who made a very loud passive aggressive comment of “look at her waltzing up to the front?”. If so Ill gladly sit at the back if it means I’ll swap my very anxious boy who finds each day a challenge for a happy, easy going child.

(Disclaimer I don’t actually want to swap DS!)

A lot of PTA parents work bloody hard, absolutely free of charge and are selfless in their time for the school which supports more than just their child.

So if they catch a break with nativity seats then that's the way it goes.

Want to have the same? Why not spend most of a week crafting and creating Santa's grotto to transport to the school and assemble? Or organise a fete asking non willing other parents to step up and volunteer a weekend morning, or spend hours looking at theatre companies to come in for a show for the kids on budget. There's always photographing events, serving refreshments and asking teachers what they need as well.

YABU, join the PTA and donate copious amounts of time for the same perk. It's a thankless task normally, small rewards like this are all you get in return.

I queued for my DGS nativity this week it really is competitive queuing, people jumping in front, saving seats, it’s dog eat dog. No wonder they don’t allow parents in until the very last minute.

If the school allowed her in she was clearly invited, helping or both.

But the front row in my local primary is reserved for parents who have children with SEND, the difference it makes to that child to be able to see their parent is what matters.

@BeardedMum
PTA are not just for SAHM - that’s the excuse people use when they can’t be bothered to make them feel better - two of us run ours and we both work four days a week!!!

Plus SAHM generally in our community do loads as well.

Working is generally nothing to do with it.

@crikeycrumbsblimey, well you had to be a a SAHM in my children’s primary school because all the PTA meetings were during the working day like 10 am. I volunteered to join a few trips but it was always the PTA women who were selected. They also introduced a few things which really impacted children of working parents negatively too. I am sure the PTA might be more inclusive to working parents in other schools.

By the way, now my children are in secondary both me and DH have joined the PTA equivalent. Its all working parents, evening meetings and more professional and inclusive.