Who was unreasonable here?

[Funkyslippers]

Last night, all of us in car, me driving, we're playing DD1's (16) Queen CD (she's slightly obsessed).

DD1: Oh I love the words to this song, can we all just listen to the words?
OH: (definitely heard what she said) - starts talking to DD2
DD1: I really want everyone to hear this song
OH: (Carries on where he left off with what he's saying)
DD1: (shouts): YOU'RE SO SELFISH! I ASKED YOU TO LISTEN TO THIS SONG AND YOU DELIBERATELY TALK OVER IT!!!
OH: Don't you speak to me like that etc etc....

Everyone stressed. Me upset because this sort of thing happens on a daily basis between DD1 & OH, DD2 & OH or DD1 & DD2!!!

being a brat
Oh for god's sake. This isn't bratty behaviour. And isn't isn't funny we mostly apply this term to girls and not boys?

It's completely brat behaviour. I call self-centred, rude, spoiled and dictating boys and girls brats by the way. I don't see others mostly applying the term to girls and not boys either.

Is this thread still going? What a fucking storm in a teacup.

Not read all TFT but sounds more like you need to work on your family relationships - is it usually DD1+you versus DD2+DH?

I think it's still going because the OP only rarely pops back and has changed her story.

I don't see Brat as being a girl term at all. That's possibly because I had a brother who was definitely a brat
I'd say I've heard it applied to both equally, and I certainly wouldn't equate "bratty" with "opinionated and strong". Plus "opinionated" is, to me, as least as negative as "bratty".

In the car it's unreasonable to expect everyone to be silent and listen to a song because you like it. If you want to share it with others, then the car isn't the place.
And I can't imagine if she has a CD of it, that you haven't heard the song multiple times anyway. Why should you be quiet on that rendition of it?

It's completely brat behaviour. I call self-centred, rude, spoiled and dictating boys and girls brats by the way. I don't see others mostly applying the term to girls and not boys either.

So what would you call an adult who asked people in a car to listen to a new favourite song?

Friends do it all the time
It’s only polite when someone is excited about something and wants to share it.

How dreadful to be called a brat for asking her parents to listen to a song

NemophilistRebel
How dreadful to be called a brat for asking her parents to listen to a song

Comments like this always make me laugh.
Yes, that would be dreadful. Now, what about what happened here?

I’m so surprised at all the responses here. I see so many people posting about “my teenager is always just plugged into their devices and never talks to me” and the main reaction to this teenager wanting to share a song with her family, and have them listen to words which are important to her, is “buy her some headphones” 🤦‍♀️

Wanting to share something is great. Insisting isn"t.

Devereux1 My comments from my previous posts would answer that

DD1 is unreasonable. If she wants to listen to music un-interrupted, then she needs to get some headphones.

She already had her choice of music on - when I was younger and in my parents car, the rule was "driver decides"!

Music can mean a lot to people particularly when young as it can help you find words for how you feel when most things are so confusing.... When it's dc it's surely more important to try hear what they're saying even if it's through music?

Agree with this. I listen to all kind of nonsense about YouTubers and what not because it's important to my teens and I don't want to risk missing that important nugget that might indicate that all is not well with them. I used to try and communicate with my mum through song lyrics because I found it too hard to vocalise what I wanted to tell her (some of it pretty dark and despairing) but got shut down for the most part.

Jesus it's a fucking song that can be repeated!

I can see why other people are saying she is being unreasonable but your OH reminds me of my step dad when I was that age- deliberately antagonist. He doesn't like her demanding (fair enough) so he deliberately winds her up to elicit a response. He should have simply said, 'no, we're talking' or given up 3 minutes of his life to listen.

If she wants to listen to music un-interrupted, then she needs to get some headphones
She didn’t want to listen uninterrupted. She wanted others to listen and feed back to her. I don’t see how headphones would help with that?

ragwort you have excellent taste in music.

Six and two threes.

Both, but your DH was first. It wasn’t unreasonable of her to ask in the first instance and her request wasn’t treated with respect. Answering “no sorry, this isn’t the time” wouldn’t have been hard. She then reacted badly but perhaps she is often treated that way.

Everyone is being unreasonable. For DD she’s just trying to share her fascination of the lyrics with you but perhaps timing not right but she’s 16z
OH sounds like he’s often unreasonable if he squabbles with the kids a lot.

Car rides are tough, cut everyone, including yourself some slack OP

Definitely DD . I have similar problems with my DC .

Your DD is in the wrong but we've all been 16 and behaved like that.

totally depends. You make it sound like DH DELIBERATELY talked over the song. Like he really only spoke to make a point and dominate. If this is the case, he is a twat.

Your partner is a dick. It's a few minutes so she could hear the words. Does he often remind you all he has a dick by being a dick ?

". An adult, especially a parent, wouldn't do this in the middle of a family car journey, with four people in the car. They'd have a much better awareness of appropriate time and place."

What a load of embarrassing shite.

DD1 was BU expecting everyone to be quiet and listen to her song.
OH was BU and antagonistic to just start up a convo with DD2.

It wouldn't have hurt anyone to just listen to the song for 3 minutes but it also wouldn't have hurt for OH to just say "No" with an explanation of why not.