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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask your biggest parenting fails to make me feel better about mine today

321 replies

GlummyMcGlummerson · 18/12/2019 14:52

I feel so guilty I could vomit. I’ve been sobbing all day (I know, I need to get a grip).

Taking DS (2) to nursery, as usual I put my handbag on the passenger seat of my car (which has the keyless entry and a stop/start button rather than an ignition) then strapped him in behind the passenger seat. Then, as usual, shut his door to walk round to the drivers’ side. This has never been an issue - it’s easier than keeping hold of my key in my hand while I strap a wriggling toddler into a car seat - but today for some reason the car locked itself. Long story short, the fire brigade had to come out and smash a window. DS has been in the car for about 20 minutes at his point and was seriously distressed. He’s fine now, but I’m a mess. I wouldn’t usually call emergency service BTW I did initially call the AA but they said up to 60 minutes and they couldn’t get hold of the nearest mechanic. There’s no way I was letting him stay there for so long.

I told my mum and she was horrified, told me to expect social services on my doorstep ready to take him away Sad in the meantime I have ordered a spare key (at £235, thank god for Christmas bonus) and a new car window comes Friday (Merry arsing Christmas to me)

In the vain hope of me feeling less shit please regale me with anything similar you’ve done, please say it’s not just me!

OP posts:
Original poster
GlummyMcGlummerson · 18/12/2019 14:52

I have no idea why I’ve included a vote 🤦🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
lanbro · 18/12/2019 14:53

Complete accident, dont beat yourself up about upFlowers

LuckyAmy1986 · 18/12/2019 14:54

Your mum is BU

QueenofPain · 18/12/2019 14:55

Not a parent yet, but once pushed my little brother (he’s now 22) in his buggy down quite a steep road, god knows what happened but I let go of the pram, the whole thing tipped over with him going face first to the ground. He was fine and thought it was hilarious.

Honestly, stop beating yourself up, no harm came to him and he’ll find it to be a funny story one day.

Fucck · 18/12/2019 14:55

I told my mum and she was horrified, told me to expect social services on my doorstep ready to take him away
Bloody hell, is she always such a nasty bully?

Doggyfeet · 18/12/2019 14:56

Your mum is really mean. DS will get over it a lot faster than you will, you made a mistake and rectified it the best way you could Flowers

Lulualla · 18/12/2019 14:57

Every car I've ever bought came with 2 keys. Did you only buy the 1 key? I know that's not the point, I've just never known anyone to not have a spare key!

Anyway, I've always worred about this so I have keychain window smashes on my car keys, house keys and one in my "stuff" drawer. Maybe get a few and keep them were you can access them if you lock your car keys in your car.
Also, put the car key in your pocket when you're sorting the kid. Dont leave it in the car!!

Magpiefeather · 18/12/2019 15:00

I got locked in the car as a toddler in the late 80s, before mobile phones of course. So my mum had to leave the car to go to pay phone to call for help. I went into survival mode and ate the loaf of bread that was next to me on the back seat Grin

Don’t beat yourself up OP, it was an accident.

My big parenting fail was the ONLY time I didn’t do DDs straps up in pushchair (she was about 1 I think), and she slid out of the chair and hit her head on the floor Sad felt awful and cried more than she did.

Nestlyn · 18/12/2019 15:00

We've all made mistakes please try and put to the back of your mind now. I didn't realise I needed stair gates until I heard my ds fall down the stairs, honestly I still feel terrible about it now, but he's 10 and fine. 💐 for you.

Twotinydictators · 18/12/2019 15:00

I've driven my DS 90 miles strapped into his car seat but the car seat was not actually strapped to the car Blush I also got locked out the house and had to call my dad to pop over ( lives 15 mins away) while talking to a crying DS through the letterbox. Tbf, the kid didn't sleep through consistently until he was 2 so it's a wonder I could function at all. Dont beat yourself up, shit happens Flowers

ItchySeveredFoot · 18/12/2019 15:02

Your mum is a cunt. Don't beat yourself up. We all have daft accidents. You'll laugh about it when he's a teenager.
Last year I slammed just turned 2 year old dd backwards onto the ground. She was running around in a shop and I'd already told her off. She went to bolt again and I reached out for her but all I did was snag her hood a little. She fell backwards and bashed her head. She cried and I felt awful. I had completely forgotten all of this till my dad reminded me last week. He is also a bit of a cunt.

kitk · 18/12/2019 15:03

Your mum is horrible!

Recently I was madly tidying our kitchen before a house viewing and asked DD8 to carry her own meal to table reasoning she was old enough. Cue half of her spaghetti and meatballs on floor. I saw red and yelled and she cried which was bad enough and then cleared it up off floor and put on plate by sink while i madly applied carpet cleaner. DD finished her plate and went upstairs. Ten mins later I saw the half plate of floor food by the sink and completely forgot that I hadn't scraped it and thought DD hasn't finished her dinner so called her down and asked why she hadn't eaten it. Poor kid sat there and ate it all then said "don't worry mum, it didn't taste that much like carpet..." and truth hit me like a ton of bricks! Couldn't believe I made her eat floor food! I made it up to her with ice cream mid week which never happens usually but wanted you to know we all mess up sometimes! X

LochJessMonster · 18/12/2019 15:03

Can I just say, that that is exactly what the emergency services are for. The AA would have taken too long and you needed to get your son out. They are equipped to do it the safest way.

Your mum sounds awful.

You've had a shock and a scary experience, don't beat yourself up over it.

HaveeeeYouMetTed · 18/12/2019 15:04

Your mum's comment was completely uncalled for & has only added to you stress. You won't be seeing SS so let that be one less worry. Accidents & mistakes happen. Your son will probably not remember this in a few months time & in years to come, I'm sure you'll all laugh about the time this happened. Be kind to yourself, you're only human Flowers

Dontdisturbmenow · 18/12/2019 15:05

This is very spooky! I read the title and thought 'oh yes, I definitely can tell you about the time I locked my DS in the car' and couldn't believe that it was exactly what you did!

Same scenario except my DS was 12 months old and miraculously, the AA managed to get a spire through the window and edge and with it press on the key to open the window.

He was in the car for almost an hour thankfully in the winter. I was all over the place, it was horrible.

I'm pleased to report that this was 16 years ago D's is doing amazingly well, no memory of it and never had social services knocking on the door!

lola006 · 18/12/2019 15:05

Very similar happened to DH and I with a rental car years ago, DS’s were 1 & 2 so couldn’t get out of their straps. We were beside ourselves, my mum called a locksmith, my brother was there being supportive. At no time in that 25min were we told SS would come, or that we were awful. These things happen and you did amazing calling for help and getting him out.

GunpowderGelatine · 18/12/2019 15:07

@Lulualla the spare key went walkabout months ago, I think one of my kids put it in the bin as I've searched high and low! and usually if I have pockets I'll stick the key in but pockets seem to be few and far between on women's clothing 😫 oh well lesson learnt, I'll never leave it in the car again!

Thanks all, and yes my mum can be awful and melodramatic. I wouldn't usually tell her but my brother was on the phone to me during the drama and ended up telling her

Lovelyjubbly45 · 18/12/2019 15:08

I’ve done that - and so has my friend! Perfectly normal!!!!!’ Crown Wink

tricky29 · 18/12/2019 15:08

I’ve managed to lock myself out of the house with a 2 year old locked in alone. My phone was inside and a passing runner had to climb through the window to open the door.

Same child fell down the stairs after her sister left the gate open.

I auto locked my 7 and 10 year old in the car a while back, let myself in the house and didn’t register that they hadn’t come in behind me. They were very cross 15 mins later when I went to look for them!

I know of 3 people who have done the same as you. Be kinder to yourself, we all make mistakes and all is well.

sayanythingelse · 18/12/2019 15:08

Don't dwell on it OP. I worked in the car industry for years and it's more common than you'd think.
I worked on the social media team for a huge car manufacturer for a while and you'd be surprised the amount of people who'd "emergency" message us on Twitter on Sunday saying that they'd locked their child or dog in the car. Atleast you weren't that dim and rang someone who could actually help Grin

MarianaMoatedGrange · 18/12/2019 15:08

Awwww you have years of parenting fails to come yet OP! maybe don't tell your arse of a mother though.

mamansnet · 18/12/2019 15:10

Your mother is awful. That was totally uncalled for.

I dropped a pair of baby nail clippers onto DS's eyeball when he was 5 weeks. And he fell off my bed when he was 9 months. Tell your mother to call social services for me instead of you.

edwinbear · 18/12/2019 15:14

Your mum has completely over reacted, it was an accident and you acted as quickly as you could.

Last week, in that storm we had on Thursday, I insisted DS (10) take part in cross country run when he was suffering with a chest infection. He is a talented runner and has been invited to take part in a run with kids 2 years older than him which was quite an honour.

He was really very ill and should have been at home in bed, instead, as he got overtaken up a hill by kids he normally he beats, crying and saying he couldn't do it and how much his chest hurt - I shouted at him, then I stormed off to the car. Not a proud parenting moment at all Sad Blush

MayFayner · 18/12/2019 15:14

A couple of days ago my mum told me she’d heard a locksmith talking on local radio and he said that they get at least one call a week for children locked in cars, so you’re not alone.

I also think your mum is being a bit mean. You’ve had enough of a shock and it’s not as though you left him there to pop into the shops or drop an older child into school (or to swimming lessons as I observed recently Shock ).

YoungHun · 18/12/2019 15:14

Blimey your mum is a bit of a cow! Don't worry at all this is the first of many many parenting fails and the stories are great to rehash with the teenagers! Teens and grown up children love your parenting fails and every time telling they get bigger!!

By the time your child is 30, the story will include multiple fire engines and local tv news!

Honestly, after you have calmed down and are able to smile about it,
You need to look at your relationship with your mum. She sounds toxic.

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