To ask your biggest parenting fails to make me feel better about mine today

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

I feel so guilty I could vomit. I’ve been sobbing all day (I know, I need to get a grip).

Taking DS (2) to nursery, as usual I put my handbag on the passenger seat of my car (which has the keyless entry and a stop/start button rather than an ignition) then strapped him in behind the passenger seat. Then, as usual, shut his door to walk round to the drivers’ side. This has never been an issue - it’s easier than keeping hold of my key in my hand while I strap a wriggling toddler into a car seat - but today for some reason the car locked itself. Long story short, the fire brigade had to come out and smash a window. DS has been in the car for about 20 minutes at his point and was seriously distressed. He’s fine now, but I’m a mess. I wouldn’t usually call emergency service BTW I did initially call the AA but they said up to 60 minutes and they couldn’t get hold of the nearest mechanic. There’s no way I was letting him stay there for so long.

I told my mum and she was horrified, told me to expect social services on my doorstep ready to take him away in the meantime I have ordered a spare key (at £235, thank god for Christmas bonus) and a new car window comes Friday (Merry arsing Christmas to me)

In the vain hope of me feeling less shit please regale me with anything similar you’ve done, please say it’s not just me!

I'm not entirely sure why you needed the emergency services to smash the car window? Surely you just get a brick or something heavy and a tea towel and smash it yourself if your child is trapped inside??

fuck off to bed has me buckled! I'm going to get in trouble in work

I have a few but the main one was when I took DS to a zoo. There were wasps everywhere. One landed on his face so I went to swat it away, but instead slapped him across the face really hard. I was crying. He was crying. I felt so guilty.

I just remembered a few weeks ago calling to my daughter across the playground at home time “you can carry your own shit to the car!”

No idea where it came from.
Everyone looked.
I think I meant ‘stuff’

I’ve done exactly the same thing when picking DD up from nursery, the car locked and the alarm kept going off! I had to go into nursery to borrow their phone as I’d locked my mobile in the car too, luckily DH was home and arrived with a spare key 5 minutes later. I still remember the shame!

We’re all human, be kind to yourself

Forgot my toddlers shoes, never put them on till we get where we're going. He just throws them at me otherwise. Got to nursery and realised I'd not put them in his pram bag. Bad mum club that day

If your mum has always been like that, seems logical that it will have made you a nervous parent

^^ nail head that one

I know things are different there than in the US but doesn't someone need to call Social Services to file an intake/complaint for the agency to get involved? Someone needs to report the incident to even get on social services radar, I would think. If they did report, a person would take the concerns, write them up in the initial intake. From there, it would go to a 2nd person who decides the level of severity & whether or not it meets their requirements to investigate. If so, they send someone to speak with the family/home to find out the facts/details.
Usually, the people doing the job have common sense and react like so many of the commentators, realizing that you are human, who had an accident happen.
I hope all the comments helped you feel that you aren't alone! You know you have truly become a parent when something happens to traumatize you more than your child.
When my daughter was almost 2, she was playing in the toy room. There was a bookshelf that was used for storage and I didn't realize my sister had put a food blender on one of the top shelves to get it out of the way. Somehow, the cord came unbound, finding it's way to the floor. My girl managed to pull it down, knocking the curved blade out of it. She sliced her foot open from stepping on it. I heard a small cry, as I was coming from the kitchen, the next room over, with no door between.
I saw blood on her hands & clothes, not knowing what had happened, my heart about came out of my chest. I have taken first aid courses & dealt with children injuries many times from working with kids most my life. I was well prepared for such situations but nothing had prepared me for how scared I would be seeing my child in distress. I was able to get the bleeding under control & take her to the ED, where she received 11 spiders (stitches but she thought they were tiny spiders on her foot). She was to stay off of it for a week. I had no idea how to keep an active 1.5 year old off her feet. Truth is, children adapt. She learned to bounce, jump & crawl to each couch or chair, never touching the floor or her foot because kids are so much tougher than we are!
I was terrified social services would come & even more upset that I had "let" such a thing happen in the first place. It just made me a better parent in the end. And your incident will make you stronger too!
Good luck to you & your family!

Not a parenting fail, but my big brother. I was a toddler and he was a teenager. He was holding me on a table at the window to watch the boats go by on the river.

For some reason he turned away, or let go of me, and I fell backwards from the table onto the floor. No carpet.

Apparently I landed on my head, then rolled and got wedged under the sofa.

My mother came in when she heard all the shouting and crying and they manged to ease me out from under the sofa.

I was fine!

This happened to me in John Lewis Carpark. The fire brigade has to come and break into the car. The engine was on. Social services were not contacted. It was an accident, for some reason my car locked that day.

Hey, just want to say actually I think you handled that situation very well - you did the right thing! we have all had moments where things dont go as we expect - its how its handled that matters. X

Don't sweat it OP.

My big fail was when my child was only months old I realised on the M25 I couldn't see them in the rear mirror. Turned out I had undone her straps at the petrol station and forgot to do them back up! She had skid down her chair and nearly on the footwell!

We all make mistakes. Were human. People have made much worse than you.

Your mum is wrong (and unkind). Social services would 100% not be interested in following this up. Had you not called for help, yes, but you showed no sign of neglect at all.

...but pockets seem to be few and far between on women's clothing

You want Popsy dresses!

Sorry but your mum is awful saying that!

Another one for driving with DC strapped safely into the car seat....but car seat not actually attached to anything doing 70 on the A1
Only done that the once though!

I also think your mum is being a bit mean.

Understatement of the year, I think. What your mum said was really twattish. It was an accident, and you handled it well by calling for help straight away - 20 mins probably felt like a lifetime but it’s not long at all.
My recent parenting fail - I had a cold, couldn’t smell anything and didn’t realise that the milk I’d given my DS who is 18 months, which was still in date in the package and only recently opened, had gone a bit wiffy. An hour later he threw up all over the shopping trolley as we were doing our food shop. I presumed he’d had a stomach bug but later that day when I put the milk in my tea I realised it tasted funny. DS was fine after he’d been sick, but I felt terrible - and always smell the milk now even after I just opened it!

I didn’t realised my 14 month old was behind me when I was hoovering I brought the hoover back in ‘hoovering a knocked the handle into her. she had a small black eye for days. I felt awful and she’s now petrified of the Hoover!

I watched gogglebox a while ago when the family with the Rottweilers talked (and laughed their heads off) about the time they managed to fold their pram into the car, wondered where the baby had gone, and realised he was still asleep in said folded pram. Although that’s quite bad, I was also laughing my head off at that... These parenting fails always seem very serious at the time - and they years later you find them quite hilarious.

OP! I did this when DS was a toddler! I also had no choice but to call the firebrigade (we were actually advised by AA to call the firebrigade. A massive fire engine turned up. They were all lovely! My older DS got to sit on the fire engine which he thought was amazing!

You did absolutely the right thing to call the firebrigade!

Your mum is bonkers!! Why on Earth would social services be at all bothered about this? You accidentally locked your baby in the car, you took emergency action straight away. DC is fine. You've done nothing wrong!!!

Be kid to yourself! In a year's time you'll look back on this and laugh!

Jgjgjgjg - the firebrigade have tools to 'break in' to your car for you. They usually try those first and break the window as a last resort. When they do break the window, they do it safely. They have a special vaccuum thing that can get rid of most of the obviously dangerous bits of glass, and can tape up the window safely for you so you can drive home/to the garage without bits of glass flying in your face, or rain pouring in through the window.

BTW, when this happened to me, the firemen said they break the glass to get toddlers and babies out quite frequently! One of their most popular jobs! So you aren't the first OP, and definitely won't be the last!!

Opened front door, went to pick up shopping and toddler walked in front of me and slammed door shut. Luckily next door neighbour had a key - was envisaging all sorts only to find him upstairs reading a book! Felt terrible but mistakes are made and accidents happen.

I heard somewhere that children need to see they have imperfect parents, as it prepares them in a loving, safe, way for a world which is never going to be perfect. Made me feel better!

My parenting fail (one that I can remember!): In the first place I lived in with my son, the front door had a Yale bolt thing (so if you closed it and didn't have your key, you couldn't get back in). My son was about 8m old and having an afternoon nap. I was taking the rubbish out to the communal bins. I closed the door. Had to call my parents (who had a spare key!).

My mum's told us a few stories about the things we (my siblings and I) got up to as kids. Bear in mind, she was a mother of 4, and a very highly qualified Nursery Nurse/Manager. She was folding washing in utility room once (adjacent to kitchen), door was open. I was 4, a complete Houdini and managed to stealthily climb to the top shelf of a kitchen cupboard, and nick a large box (containing medications belonging to my grandparents, children's meds and so on). I went into front room and managed to get into ALL the meds. I divvied them up between my younger brother and myself (we were playing doctors and patients) and we wolfed the lot. She walked into front room, clocked the empty bottles, boxes etc, gathered us up and whipped us straight off to hospital (with all the empty medicine paraphernalia). We blamed each other (as kids do), so the A+E doctors contacted the Poisons Unit at Guys for advice, and we both got "treated". To this day, I cannot abide the smell or taste of orange squash....the doctors offered my brother and I orange squash (we thought we were quids in, as we only ever got plain milk or plain water to drink at home!!). It contained the meds and emetics to treat our "accidental overdoses"!!!

BTW I'm a nurse now...and my brother works in finance!!!

I forgot to fasten my nephew into his car seat once. Luckily, he reminded me before I drove off!

OP I did almost EXACTLY the same thing when my DS was about 18 months old. DH had the spare key and was at work an hour away. The police came and smashed the window (I actually still have the dent in my door from where they missed!).

It's so easily done, don't beat yourself up over it, 4 years later I'm still really really careful about having my keys with me before I close my car door!! Lesson learned.

Disabled child in wheelchair and country road with narrow path! DD 4 runs off so I let go of wheelchair to catch her and see DS Slowly fall face first into the road in his wheelchair ...needed a few stitches !