To ask your biggest parenting fails to make me feel better about mine today

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

I feel so guilty I could vomit. I’ve been sobbing all day (I know, I need to get a grip).

Taking DS (2) to nursery, as usual I put my handbag on the passenger seat of my car (which has the keyless entry and a stop/start button rather than an ignition) then strapped him in behind the passenger seat. Then, as usual, shut his door to walk round to the drivers’ side. This has never been an issue - it’s easier than keeping hold of my key in my hand while I strap a wriggling toddler into a car seat - but today for some reason the car locked itself. Long story short, the fire brigade had to come out and smash a window. DS has been in the car for about 20 minutes at his point and was seriously distressed. He’s fine now, but I’m a mess. I wouldn’t usually call emergency service BTW I did initially call the AA but they said up to 60 minutes and they couldn’t get hold of the nearest mechanic. There’s no way I was letting him stay there for so long.

I told my mum and she was horrified, told me to expect social services on my doorstep ready to take him away in the meantime I have ordered a spare key (at £235, thank god for Christmas bonus) and a new car window comes Friday (Merry arsing Christmas to me)

In the vain hope of me feeling less shit please regale me with anything similar you’ve done, please say it’s not just me!

I lost him at London zoo when I had had him for three weeks (adopted). I was so upset I had to write down what had happened when I found a member of staff.

Left him napping on a friends bed and started walking home, I must have gone about 20m down the road before I went running back.

Let him dress himself on his own before school, he came home with extra clothes in his PE kit. He’d gone to school with his pjs on under his school uniform

On my first ever bus ride with my baby dd I left in her sleeping in her pushchair parked on a bus in the disabled/pushchair area, while I sat down in the closest seat. I wasn't in arms distance of her, the bus lurched round a bend and the pushchair, fully loaded with supermarket shopping, came crashing down face first. If DD hadn't been strapped in and the barrier thing was not there, her face would have smashed into the ground. DD started to scream, the passengers on the bus went silent, my shopping was all over the place. I started sobbing and was shaking so much I could barely stand to pick her up. I felt like the worst mum in the world. It was 5 years ago and I am close to tears now because it was just the stupidest thing I'd ever done I think. At the time it seemed like a good idea, I didn't think of the bus lurching or jolting. A lovely woman came over and helped me get DD, she told me to sit with her and she picked up all my shopping and arranged it back on to the pushchair and held on to it for the rest of the journey. I wish I'd been able to thank her more. I was in such a state I could hardly speak.

I left my 9 year old and 5 year old in the Ikea creche recently. Got the youngest and my shopping into the car. Started driving out the car park and thought "I didn't have meatballs..." then realised that was because I'd promised them we'd go to the cafe. Had to drive back round the car park for ages to find a space before going back in

When the 5yo was a baby I accidentally biffed the 10yo in the face. I changed her nappy, but realised she'd just had smelly wind. I couldn't reuse it as the little tab things were rubbish so I balled it up and swung round to chuck it in the bin not realising he'd come up behind me with wipes to help

I still get stick from my twins, now 16, for the time I dragged DD2 to the opticians for her eye test with her insisting she'd just been recently. She hated the optician which is why I took them individually. Got there and discovered I was meant to be bringing DD1. Was grateful that it was the weekend, but they both wrote it in their story of the day book on the Monday so the school (that I'd previously worked in) were highly amused by it

I think your mum needs to get a grip. SS would not be interested, it's not like you left your DC strapped in the car all night while you were out clubbing!!!

None of us (including your mum) are perfect parents 100% of the time. All was well, don't beat yourself up about it.

p.s. I am posting as a DGM.

Oh yeah, I also left my eldest in his pram by the till in a shop when he was about a week old, and walked out of the shop. I was so tired that I think I momentarily forgot I had a baby. I legged it back into the shop about 30 seconds later, and the woman behind the till laughed and said she'd done the same thing with her baby. I was mortified, and burst into tears

Not a parenting fail but hopefully one to make you laugh... my DH is almost ten years older than his sister. One day a rogue shopping trolley found its way onto their farm land so he thought it would be fun to incorporate it into a game.

He took safety measures by telling her to keep her arms inside the trolley at all times no matter what, put her in the trolley, then pushed it as hard as he could down the path that lead around the farmhouse. Path was in fact sloped so she picked up speed pretty quickly, straight past the kitchen window where my poor MiL was stood washing up and just witnessed her toddler daughter whizzing past. By all accounts the sister couldn’t stop laughing, mum had a heart attack and my husband still thinks he did the responsible thing because he said to keep her arms inside!!

Where do I start? First of all tell your DM to piss off. What a cow! Accidents happen.

I drove on the motorway with DS1 in his car seat, but car seat not attached to the car.
I collapsed the pram with DS2 still in it (sleep-deprived moment) and nearly broke his arm.
I let DS2 roll off of our bed, onto a wooden floor.

There are many more....

I'm a social worker. I doubt a referral will even be made. You took immediate action to address your mistake.

Even if a referral is made, social services won't be interested. At most I might ring you to follow it up with you.. you'll be saying all the right things so it will be left there!

Your Mum was being extremely unhelpful with her comments.

We used to leave our first born in the crib in the morning while I shuttled my husband to the station in the morning. Looking back on it now and having heard all the horror stories I’d never do it again! Xx

I looked my car keys like you accidentally in the boot and my diabetic mil was having kittens because she is diabetic and her insulin was in the boot. The AA came about an hour later and she wasn't happy with me. Shit happens. I would have been more distressed about your mother's comment than looking my son in the car. Ok he was upset but it wasn't hot or life threatening.
You poor soul stop beating yourself up. It was an incident. No harm done.
I'll be talking to the car dealer about the potential faulty key.

I don’t know if your mum is always that unpleasant but that was an unkind thing to say and completely ridiculous. Is there any chance she thought she was being funny.

We lost control of DSS’s pram once at the top of a muddy hill on a walk home from the pub. It careered to the bottom (luckily middle of a big open space so no roads) and we ran down the hill in a state of terror to find him suspended upside down by the safety harness laughing and crying ‘more, more’.

I twice hit my newborn's face into the door frame of the sitting room while he was in my arms and I misjudged the proximity of the door frame to his head.
My dd fell of the bed twice when changing her nappy.
I once drove on the motorway not realising g that although toddler was strapped into his car seat I had forgotten to strap the actual car seat itself in.

None of us, including your mam gets it right all of the time. Her comment about SS was both ridiculous and nasty. Honestly it was an unintentional accident. You know that. No harm done.x

Social services have bigger fish to fry than someone accidentally locking their child in a car and resolving the situation as quick as possible. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong to me.

I did the exact same thing in a carpark a little while ago, chucked my keys on the seat in front and they somehow locked the car with 18month old inside. Luckily my partner was at home with the spare set of keys, but we only have the one car and he was maybe 30mins walk away at rush hour so there were no taxis to be had. He managed to get a lift from a friend and got to us after 20mins ish. My DS was fine, started getting upset the last few mins but before that was happy with me playing peekaboo.

Worst thing was I was obviously pregnant, and standing by a car in a parent and child space, clearly upset, yet mostly people just stared. One or two did offer assistance but the amount of people who did nothing was quite upsetting.

Anyway, I told my mum and she said, 'oh dear that must of been upsetting, I've done that a couple of times recently with my car, it's so annoying. Are you both okay?' That's what a mum should say, not suggest Social services!! Don't listen to her for a second. If they were at all interested in this sort of thing pretty much every parent I know would be in trouble.

What a mean thing to say to you! I hope you can let her silly words go over your head a bit and try not to keep thinking of your awful morning.

We all have accidents.

I fed DS1 who is allergic to milk and soya a soya sausage. I must have condensed half a pack each of Cauldron ones and Quorn ones into a Quorn sausage pack in the freezer before knowing about his allergy and not remembered when I came to cook them, so I thought they were all Quorn ones that he is fine with. He slowly turned red from his feet up to his chest and had horrible reflux all day, poor thing.

DH and I took DS1 to our favourite restaurant as soon as he started on solid food but couldn't find anything milk free on the children's menu. The waiter rattled through the specials and a starter with mushroom and polenta sounded like possibility, so I checked that none of his allergens were in it and ordered it and the waiter suggested they would use less chilli for a baby. He absolutely loved it. Nothing was left on his plate. He fake cried when I asked to taste a bit, so I gave it back to him. He wad in a great mood and we all had such a good time. As we left, I saw the specials board and realised the mushrooms were cooked in white wine!

When I was small my dad left a stanley knife blade in a dish in the middle of the coffee table in the living room. Me being me picked it up and cut my thumb. Blood all over the shop. Rather than feel horrified though. my dad smacked me, gave me a bollocking and sent me to my room once the bleeding had been stopped and a plaster applied.

my car key battery is on its way out And keeps randomly locking itself, and I did exactly the same as you the other day. RAC took about 40 mins to get to us but all was fine, DD was asleep by the time the bloke got there! Really surprised the fire brigade had to break the window, (unless keys weren’t easily accessible?) RAC man took about 10 seconds to get car door open far enough to get the keys.

Ok DH and I were holding a hand each of DD aged around 20mths I think (non verbal anyway) and she wanted to swing - did two no problem, did a third she went quiet, I was very conscious you can hurt children by doing this so had said last one etc, anyway went to get her in car etc and she wouldn't go in the chair - she screamed and I was like what the... anyway figured out it was her arm, we were 3 mins from hospital so went there with her NOT STRAPPED IN in car, we only dislocated her arm at the elbow!!! DO NOT SWING SMALL CHILDREN

Should say it popped back in no problem once xrays done and no lasting damage thank goodness

Bit harsh from your mum! You sound lovely, we've all done things, believe me! I once trapped my sons hand in the car door! Don't beat yourself up, you're a wonderful mummy and now you know you can't do it again with a new key on its way. Enjoy Christmas with your little boy xxx

OP, ive posted on here before about doing the same to my ds who was around 7 at the time...except it was in spain and it was about 100 degrees!!
I still feel guilty! Hes now 21 and as far as i know, unscathed!

Dont be hard on yourself - it was an accident and hes fine. Your mum sounds like a bit of a cow and is maybe the reason you are being so hard on yourself. Was she a perfect mother? I doubt it!

I have done the same as you in the past OP once with a DC about 2 years old and once with the dogs. Both times I had left the keys in the car and they managed to touch them and lock themselves in. The only difference was that neither the toddler nor the dogs were that bothered thankfully. Could I get them to touch the keys again? not a chance.

Both times was rescued by roadside assistance with a nifty opened out wire coat hanger to reach round the side of the door and prod the keys .

When Ds1 was about 2 we were playing in a park that had a zip wire. After being there for about 20 mins I said I'd like to try the zip wire and told him to wait on the bench for a minute. He got up and ran into the path of me hurtling at high speed and there was nothing I could do to stop it in time. I bashed into him and sent him flying. He was unhurt, fortunately.

Ds2, age 2, was sitting on my knee as I sat on a dining chair in the kitchen. Just as I adjusted my weight to get a bit more comfy he also adjusted his weight. The two slight movements together put him off balance and he fell off my knee and face planted the hard wood floor. He bashed his front teeth which were now wobbly and there was blood everywhere. Awful.

I trapped my nephew's (age 2) finger in the car door.

Each incident makes me feel sick with guilt and horror when I think about them. If anyone ever asks me to look after another 2 year old I will politely decline.....

As someone who worked in car insurance
It happens all the time

Left DD in a foreign airport, she had the sense to find someone in uniform who brought her to us at the gate! Still feel like the worst parent ever!