To ask your biggest parenting fails to make me feel better about mine today

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

I feel so guilty I could vomit. I’ve been sobbing all day (I know, I need to get a grip).

Taking DS (2) to nursery, as usual I put my handbag on the passenger seat of my car (which has the keyless entry and a stop/start button rather than an ignition) then strapped him in behind the passenger seat. Then, as usual, shut his door to walk round to the drivers’ side. This has never been an issue - it’s easier than keeping hold of my key in my hand while I strap a wriggling toddler into a car seat - but today for some reason the car locked itself. Long story short, the fire brigade had to come out and smash a window. DS has been in the car for about 20 minutes at his point and was seriously distressed. He’s fine now, but I’m a mess. I wouldn’t usually call emergency service BTW I did initially call the AA but they said up to 60 minutes and they couldn’t get hold of the nearest mechanic. There’s no way I was letting him stay there for so long.

I told my mum and she was horrified, told me to expect social services on my doorstep ready to take him away in the meantime I have ordered a spare key (at £235, thank god for Christmas bonus) and a new car window comes Friday (Merry arsing Christmas to me)

In the vain hope of me feeling less shit please regale me with anything similar you’ve done, please say it’s not just me!

The very fact that you posted shows you are a good Mum OP. Where does your Mum get off saying that to you?! I would have words & let her know that she made you feel a whole lot worse after what was an accident with your child. 💐 & hugs for you

This is really common. Don’t beat yourself up about it.

A couple of weeks ago I was baby sitting my nephews newborn. I still have dd's Moses basket I put the baby in it. I went out to the car and Dd2 ran behind me and slammed the door shut.
I stood watching in the window as Dd2 was up at the Moses basket telling me the baby needed a bottle and she could give her it.
Luckily we have a spare key outside but I had to persuade dd2 to come away from the baby before I could go and get it.
I didn't intend to tell my nephew (first time parents) until Dd2 told them she was looking after the baby when I went out. I managed to change the subject quickly.
Don't worry about it OP. Your mum sounds nuts.

Done very similar with my dog! New car, hadn’t got one of the keys keyed up to the car yet (sorry don’t know technical term!!) so only had one key. Heading out for a walk with my dog and put him in the boot of the car. Put the key down next to him whilst I strapped him in and then forgot and shut the boot. Would have been fine, except he stood up and trod on the key which locked the car! All was fine once I realised there’s a secret key hole if you pop the cap off the door handle. Not before ringing every lock smith in the area at 6pm on a Sunday evening and bringing my partner out of work
As for parenting fails, I have hundreds. Can’t think of one right now but there’s been at least a dozen times when I’ve felt like a cowbag for not realising something sooner.

Living up to my username...

When DD1 was very small - about 18m/2yo - I had her sitting on the kitchen counter while I made a cake or something. I'd just used the hand blender and, yes you guessed it, she grabbed it as I reached for something else. Worse still, one hand was on the button and as it was big for her, she was holding the other end in her other hand. She sliced three of her fingers. Fortunately didn't slice them off, but OMG, the blood! Had to call my mum and dad who lived a few mins away to come and help because I was a wreck and didn't want to let go of the tissues I had clamped on her fingers. Not bad enough for stitches, but had to be bandaged at A&E. My mum gave me hell for being so careless, and I really deserved it. Could have been so much worse .

DD2 escaped from a shop once when we were buying uniform for DD1. DD2 was about 2.5yo. Me and DH though my mum was watching her and vice versa. The fear when we realised she was gone was awful. Fortunately a couple of lovely older ladies found her wandering around the shopping centre.

DDs are 18 and 20 now, so managed to survive my shit parenting somehow!

I don’t really see how this is your fault. Total accident.

Is your mother usually this unsupportive? It was an accident they happen. Your child is fine and you got him out as soon as you could. Don't feel guilty but do reconsider your relationship with your Mum.

First of all, you're mum's a dick.

Second of all, have you spoken to the car manufacturers? The whole point of keyless entry cars is that they can't lock if the key is inside! Sounds like you've got a fault that needs checking.

I did exactly this when da was a toddler. We had to wait for my DH to come home from work. It was about half an hour. Me and my mum were making cheeky faces at him but after a while he started getting upset.

He doesn't remember. He didn't care ten mins later and we've barely ever mentioned it again.

Your mum don't want sound very nice.

Let it go now and be kind to yourself. You won't be hearing from ss and he will not remember it ever happened.

a few months ago my 12 year old was stood outside the car as i reversed and i somehow managed to drive over his foot! luckily nothing was broken but his foot was black and blue.

OP, your parenting fails pale into insignificance against your mother’s parenting fail

God OP, your mother is a bit dramatic isn’t she. We all make mistakes.

Mine was when DS was about 3. We were on the back seat of the bus waiting to go. DS was on his knees in the middle of the seat looking down the bus. When the driver started the engine I reached over to pull DS over to me, but at that second he moved and I ended up knocking him off the seat face first onto the ground. he bashed his lip and there was blood everywhere. OMG I’ve never felt so awful in my life.

So easily done and a horrible time of year for extra expenses like this!
My clueless parenting moment- moved to house with bolt on bathroom door when dd a baby. Thought nothing of it. (!!!!!!)
Time passed, potty trained dd, day came when she proudly went to the bathroom herself.
Bathroom bolt went “click” few mins passed then “mummy...can you let me out?”
Turns out she had reached up on the little bathroom stool to lock it and had no idea how to unlock it.
Spent about 20 mins being alternately reassuring and stern trying to get her to unlock it. She gave up and started to howl.
Ended up ringing the fire brigade as well who were really lovely and drilled through the door to release dd
We now have locks on both bathrooms that can be easily opened from outside!!

Ds picked up and sucked a rogue mystery tablet.
I have no idea what it was or where it came from. We had just moved into a new house and a lot of junk had been left behind by the last owner. I was sorting it while he was pottering around and he suddenly appeared next to me, handed me the sucker tablet and said ‘yucky’.
He had to be monitored in a&e for 6 hours and I was convinced that social services would be called. They never contacted me so I assume not.
Give yourself a break, love.

Your mum is an arsehole.

Have managed to lock everyone out of the house (thankfully during good weather), and also dropped one of them on the car park floor while wrangling them out of a baby carrier, right in front of a couple sitting in their car. Social services have not appeared yet.

Is your mother usually this unsupportive

Yes. But only towards me, not my brother. So he tells her stuff I wouldn't, and she rang me 🙄

@myfuckingfreezer the glass man is coming to replace the window in the morning after which I'll be driving to the dealership that sold me the car a year ago and asking them to check the key!

Your mum is nasty. You literally did nothing wrong. It was a freak incident and your child was safe inside the care, albeit unhappy about it.

Woah @QueenofPain that’s spooky... I did EXACTLY the same thing and my brother is also now 22. Are we the same person?

Also OP, I really wouldn’t beat yourself up about that! I’ve seen/done/been part of worse parenting fails

I cut my daughters finger the first time I cut her nails, she was weeks old. I had a night terror whilst cosleeping with DD2 who was eight months old...in my dream I bit my rapist...I actually bit DD2 🤨
Don’t worry about it. Your mum is a cunt though.

Stop crying.

it was a genuine accident and your DS is absolutely fine.

Your Mum on the other hand, sounds like a vicious old cow!

Sorry about the extra cost. But yes, get a grip.

My Mum ran over my foot once if it makes you feel any better. Then told me to 'stop making such a fuss about it' when I started crying.

Don't beat yourself up - it happens. I left my baby twins strapped in their double buggy in Tescos car park! I went home, put the shopping away and realised I didn't got them. They've made it to 17 though.

@myfuckingfreezer
I thought the same thing.
I have a keyless entry car and if the fobs in the car it wouldn't lock.

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy I have given my head a wobble and calmed down. DS is fine and seems untraumatised - though he did tell our postman when he knocked to deliver a parcel "mummy locked me in the car today". Cheers for that son!

If your mum says she’s never got it wrong, I’d respectfully suggest she’s getting forgetful. We all have horror stories.

I had 30 month old ds plus two bags of shopping, and let go of his hand for a second while I opened the boot of the car.
One moment he was standing beside me and the next he had sprinted across the car park, up the bank and out into the road. (God knows why.).
A car swerved and missed him before I could grab him. Still makes me sweat thinking about it.
You are NOT a bad mum.

I've done the following:

DS (about 4m) on my knee. I stood up just as he pushed with his legs - result: DS somersaulted onto floor.

DD (age 2) in buggy. DS (5) started pushing her down a hill. I shouted "no", grabbed buggy handles and yanked it back. Forgot DD not strapped in - result: DD lands flat on her face on the pavement.

DD (2 days later) in buggy, again not strapped in because apparently I'm an idiot. Crossing the road, kerb looks a bit high so I shove the buggy extra hard; buggy still doesn't go o to pavement and stops dead. Result: DD flat on her face on the pavement.

DS (5) and DD (2): picking up from school. Lift DD into car, bump her head on the door. She cries a bit so I shove the door open more to get to her. Door hits DS who's standing behind it and knocks him flying.

Honestly, they'd be safer locked in the car.