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Original poster

To ask your biggest parenting fails to make me feel better about mine today

321 replies

GlummyMcGlummerson · 18/12/2019 14:52

I feel so guilty I could vomit. I’ve been sobbing all day (I know, I need to get a grip).

Taking DS (2) to nursery, as usual I put my handbag on the passenger seat of my car (which has the keyless entry and a stop/start button rather than an ignition) then strapped him in behind the passenger seat. Then, as usual, shut his door to walk round to the drivers’ side. This has never been an issue - it’s easier than keeping hold of my key in my hand while I strap a wriggling toddler into a car seat - but today for some reason the car locked itself. Long story short, the fire brigade had to come out and smash a window. DS has been in the car for about 20 minutes at his point and was seriously distressed. He’s fine now, but I’m a mess. I wouldn’t usually call emergency service BTW I did initially call the AA but they said up to 60 minutes and they couldn’t get hold of the nearest mechanic. There’s no way I was letting him stay there for so long.

I told my mum and she was horrified, told me to expect social services on my doorstep ready to take him away Sad in the meantime I have ordered a spare key (at £235, thank god for Christmas bonus) and a new car window comes Friday (Merry arsing Christmas to me)

In the vain hope of me feeling less shit please regale me with anything similar you’ve done, please say it’s not just me!

OP posts:
Xmashumbug · 18/12/2019 16:07

When DS1 was a toddlers (now 14) my mum used to give him her keys to play with whilst she was sorting the shopping out. Predictably DS1 managed to lock himself in the car whilst strapped into his seat and then threw the keys across the car. My mum also had to call emergency services to break a window to get him out.

She never let him play with the keys again!

Please don't beat yourself up about these mishaps. They happen to lots of us all the time.

rach2019 · 18/12/2019 16:08

Just got back from holiday in spain where I almost left my 5month old in a taxi!! Only realised when the driver started pulling away

flipperdoda · 18/12/2019 16:09

Not a parent but:

  • as a toddler I got accidentally locked in a bathroom with the bath running, the latch fell down when mum popped out for two seconds. She felt awful (after the total panic died down!) and my Dad was given no choice about removing the latch that same day, they didn't have a lock for a few weeks
  • I encouraged my niece to jump off a wall I was helping her walk along (holding her hand) and put my arms out as she was scared... managed to encourage her to jump straight into my chin (cue shrieking and tears) and felt AWFUL
FoxysFolkFace · 18/12/2019 16:09

How awful for you, but it was an accident. Your Mum sounds a delight....

Livebythecoast · 18/12/2019 16:10

I hope all these stories are making you feel better !
Please don't worry.
When DD was about 6 we were walking to the car after school and she was dragging her coat moaning about something. I needed to be somewhere so asked her to hurry but she was still dawdling so I walked up to her and yanked grabbed her hand but she had stepped on the sleeve of her coat, fell and literally headbutted the pavement. The egg on her head was instant and I felt sick - it was huge. Took her immediately to a walk in centre and she was fine but the guilt I felt was immense. She's nearly 16 now but I will never forget it and feel sick to this day if I think about it. Luckily she can't remember it!

DukeChatsworth · 18/12/2019 16:10

Wow your mum is an arse!

Not a big deal. It’s happened to more than one of my friends. It’s just a funny story for them now about the daft things that happen when you’re a parent. No harm came to your child so please chill out. And also consider telling your mum to STFU.

Eiffel85 · 18/12/2019 16:10

I left an open bottle of children’s neurofen on my daughter’s bedside table (she was 3). It was the middle of the night. I was half asleep and she had a temperature. I must have given it to her and forgotten to put the lid back on.

When I went in to her the next morning she had spilled it all over the bed and the floor. By some sort of miracle she didn’t drink any of it (she told me she hadn’t and I couldn’t smell it on her breath or in her mouth or anything). I did some frantic googling and the consensus seemed to be that calpol would have necessitated a trip to a&e just in case, but ibuprofen would probably be alright.

Needless to say I am more than careful with medicine now.

TheOrigFV45 · 18/12/2019 16:14
  • had car seat belted in, but child not belted into seat
  • had child belted into seat, but seat not belted into car
  • clonked DS1's baby head on playground horizontal metal bar in an ill-judged throw in the air
  • DS1 (5 months) rolled off bed onto stone floor
  • DS1 (about 2) fell off kitchen counter where I'd sat him and knocked a tooth out
  • DS1 (about 10) - I encouraged him to leapfrog a concrete bollard. He tried, couldn't get over it, landed on top, lost his balance and fell chin first to the concrete (in a public space).

DS2 - can't think of any actually! I've either learnt or they just don't even register!

Noideawhatusername · 18/12/2019 16:14

Why would your mum say that? She is nasty.

mbosnz · 18/12/2019 16:17

Is your mum prone to catastrophisation, and hyperbole? Because she's certainly indulging in it, on this one!

Right, here's mine. My four year old was out playing in the garden. It's a very hot day. What I don't realise is that she's decided to let herself out the gate, and that I'd left the car unlocked. And she'd climbed in the car and was playing in it. Thankfully my spidey senses tingled (you know that deafening silence that lets you know that something is very, very wrong?!) and I race out. She'd got upset and forgotten how to open the door to get out! One very distressed and hot wee girl - who never went out the gate without Mum again, until she was an awful lot older!

christmastreewithhairyfairy · 18/12/2019 16:19

Hope you are feeling better Flowers
Despite what your unhelpful DM said, these things happen and are normal parts of parenting. I managed to trap me and DH in a different part of the house to toddler DD1 (shutting a door that could only be opened from one side - the side she was on) and the estate agent had to come rescue us. And I left a sharp knife in reach of a baby DD2, who promptly picked it up. No harm done thankfully.

jobbymcginty · 18/12/2019 16:20

These things happen . Is your mum usually a cow?

tillytrotter1 · 18/12/2019 16:21

For some reason my daughter was off school, I'd locked the outside door when I went to work, she wanted to go into the garage for something. The inner door slammed shut leaving her marooned in the porch, she managed to attract the attention of a neighbour who phoned school for me to come and rescue her.

windycuntryside · 18/12/2019 16:21

I have done the exact same thing, only child was in car for longer and is now a wonderful functioning adult. Relax, it was an accident, forgive yourself and don’t call your mum (drama llama re the social services comment) in future.

81Byerley · 18/12/2019 16:22

Not me, but my friend, years ago. She was driving along the road and the sound suddenly changed in the car. She looked in the rear view mirror and to her horror the child seat was empty and the door was swinging open. Her FOSTER child was running in the road behind her, shouting for her. He'd undone his car seat and then the door, and she thinks when she turned left at a junction he'd fallen out. He didn't have a scratch on him. The first thing he said to his Mum was "I falled out of the car". My friend pretended she didn't know what he was talking about....

Pardonwhat · 18/12/2019 16:22

Sounds like something my mum would say Flowers

It’s fine. You’ll probably manage much worse Smile

ShinyGiratina · 18/12/2019 16:23

Your mother's a delight isn't she? Hmm

I set the tone for parenthood by dropping my new baby on his head into the crib before we even left the hospital. I was trying to be careful, but I was very weak and my strength gave out as I leaned over from my bed.

Another highlight was losing a 4 yo in a 3 man tent. After several checks of the tent and surrounding area, I did another check and instead of putting his jumper on, he'd snuggled up in a tiny ball at the foot of his brother's sleeping bag like a little doormouse.

The rest are too numerous to mention and too routine to remember. Babies falling off beds is a rite of passage isn't it?

My first car had no spare key.

LookingforBakedAlaska · 18/12/2019 16:25

Three children aged 3,4,5 at time. As we were leaving a restaurant 4 year old needed toilet so we split, both thinking 5 year was with the other. We had crossed a busy car park and were loading children into car seats when we realised he had gone. It still gives me goose bumps to recall that moment. Fortunately he was still in the restaurant staring at a Christmas tree waiting for his brother to re-emerge from the toilet but it could have been very different,,,

RiddleyW · 18/12/2019 16:26

I once drove quite a long way (like a 40 minute drive) to my mums with my baby in his car seat in the passenger seat. Pulled into her drive and stopped and the whole seat toppled into the footwell. I hadn’t strapped the seat in. 5 years on I still feel awful.

xlkhs · 18/12/2019 16:28

It was an accident and has happened to me as well. Rest assured it was 13 years ago and social services did not show up!

Wtf is the matter with your mum? She sounds really cruel. It’s a wonder social services didn’t take you away from her.

Bl3ss3dm0m · 18/12/2019 16:29

I really don't want to admit this as it could have turned into a real tragedy, and I still feel sick when I think about it, but when I was a single mum (about 27 years ago) I was joining a group of other single people for a picnic on a hillside in Dorset, there was no carpark, you just parked on the hillside, at the top - not a steep incline, but still - I got out of the car, but as I went to go to the back doors to let my three DS's out (you've guessed it) the car started to roll forward (it was a long BUMPY slope to the bottom of the hill) - I had not put the brake on properly on my automatic car - I have never jumped into a car so fast and put the brake on. I don't think that my DC even realised that some thing was wrong! When that awful accident happened to that young child last year, when the mother nipped into her workplace building to pick up some cash I think (it was her and her husband's business), and the child went into the river in the car because it had been on a slope, I wept buckets for both the child and the mother...
You did exactly the right things when you accidentally got yourself locked out off the car, please forgive yourself, it could happen to anyone.

pooopypants · 18/12/2019 16:32

When DS was 2, we were in london, near the eye and on a really busy junction. At the time, DS found it massively funny if you said "what have you got?" to him. We ordered a pizza and were tucking in, outside a cafe. He picked something up off the floor and without thinking, I asked him what he'd got. Cue him running, full pelt, into the traffic. I legged it after him and managed to grab him when he was about 10 inches into the road. As I grabbed him, I managed to scratch his neck, swung him round and scratched his face too by accident and pure shock, I just needed to get him off the road. A second later and the traffic would have been setting off, by pure chance he chose the split second where all the lights were red and traffic wasn't moving.

Your baby is fine and it'll be something funny to tell him when he's older. Your mother on the other hand, she's a twat. Plain and simple. You're obviously upset by today and get comments were vile and hurtful.

Bonniegirl435 · 18/12/2019 16:33

Oh you poor thing, dont beat yourself up about, easily happens.
I once left my son at toddlergroup, at the end of the session i just up and walked out, wasnt till i got to the end of the road i realised id left the baby behind Grin that was 15 years ago, i still cringe to this day thinking about it

LA115 · 18/12/2019 16:35

That's really not that bad, honestly it happens to so many parents! Take no notice of your mum

CrowleysBentley · 18/12/2019 16:35

I sincerely doubt that social services would be at all interested in bothering someone who accidentally locked their car, and then found the quickest solution available to them to fix the situation. Seriously, stop beating yourself up about it, it was a nasty thing for your mum to say to you.

DS (now almost 21, 18 months older than DD.) Drank karvol menthol baby stuff straight out of the bottle when I'd just put some on sniffly baby DD's cot sheet, I must have not done up the bottle properly, and had literally turned my back for a couple of seconds to lay DD in her cradle. DS had to spend the day in A & E under observation, as apparently can cause serious lung damage. DS was absolutely fine chatting away to nurses, I was a nervous wreck.

DD fell off a changing table thing in sainsburys loo onto a tiled floor, I had looked away for long enough to bin the dirty nappy, and she had somehow wriggled out under the strap. Bit of a bruise on her head, another afternoon in A & E and me a nervous wreck again.

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