To ask your biggest parenting fails to make me feel better about mine today

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

I feel so guilty I could vomit. I’ve been sobbing all day (I know, I need to get a grip).

Taking DS (2) to nursery, as usual I put my handbag on the passenger seat of my car (which has the keyless entry and a stop/start button rather than an ignition) then strapped him in behind the passenger seat. Then, as usual, shut his door to walk round to the drivers’ side. This has never been an issue - it’s easier than keeping hold of my key in my hand while I strap a wriggling toddler into a car seat - but today for some reason the car locked itself. Long story short, the fire brigade had to come out and smash a window. DS has been in the car for about 20 minutes at his point and was seriously distressed. He’s fine now, but I’m a mess. I wouldn’t usually call emergency service BTW I did initially call the AA but they said up to 60 minutes and they couldn’t get hold of the nearest mechanic. There’s no way I was letting him stay there for so long.

I told my mum and she was horrified, told me to expect social services on my doorstep ready to take him away in the meantime I have ordered a spare key (at £235, thank god for Christmas bonus) and a new car window comes Friday (Merry arsing Christmas to me)

In the vain hope of me feeling less shit please regale me with anything similar you’ve done, please say it’s not just me!

I did the same. Locked 2yr old DD in the car with car keys, house keys, mobile and a cat we were taking to vets. I was panicking but managed to convince DD to unbuckle herself, climb into the front, get the key and press open button. We went afterwards to a toy shop and she got a big toy as i was so proud 😁 it was horrible though. I was ready to go to neighbours to ask them to borrow phone.

DD ate almost an entire tube of nappy cream when she was under one. I don't think I breathed between the time we realised and the time we figured out it wasn't toxic.

The worst...

At about 18 months she could safely bum shuffle down the stairs, I still always went in front of her. One day she was faffing and I figured I could run down to the foot of the stairs (for what I can't recall) and back in 2 seconds. Obviously that was the exact moment she bounced too high, and toppled face first down the stairs.

The part where she bounced and her body bent over her head went in slow motion - I honestly thought she'd broken her neck. The four seconds she took to start crying were horrific.

She was absolutely fine - once she'd stopped crying I took her to nursery and told them what happened in case any bruises appeared - obviously they had to fill in a form, but other than a bruise on her back (after the flip she landed on a wicker basket) she really was fine.

I was very lucky.

And a worse car one than yours...

My parents used to give us the option of staying in the car at the supermarket. They'd lock us in if we did. One day my DB stayed in on his own (would have been about 4).

The shop took ages, when we got back the poor kid had wet himself, he was so upset.

So yeah, go easy on yourself.

YANBU. Your mother on the other hand.....

I think your mum was being unreasonable. I think social services have got far more serious issues to worry about!

As for having a second key, we've lost ours. I've not seen it since early March (possibly even February) and it's not reappeared in all that time, so it's obviously not going to, and we're going to have to cough up for an expensive new one :(

-Cut fingers instead of nails.
-Dropped phone on all four of DC's faces while trying to photograph them.
-Walking along a path when DD was about 2, she picked up a mushroom from the verge and ate it! (She's 7 now).
-Tipped DS out of his pushchair when going down a kerb (forgot to strap him in).
-Driving down the motorway, miles away from next service station, heard giggling in the back, looked round and realised DS had got out of his car seat and was climbing around.
-Accidentally got mouthwash in DD's eye
-Sent DS to school with his t-shirt on inside out.

...and my pièce de résistance, I drove out of Sainsbury's carpark with a newborn DS in carseat IN THE TROLLEY in the carpark! I only realised when eldest DS asked "are we not bringing [newborn] home?"

Oh and that's just a snapshot OP, I've done lots more!

I have forgotten to pick my children up from school and nursery. More than once.

I dislocated child's elbow and put her to bed with ibuprofen. Had to go to a&e the next day and because it had been out so long it was a bugger to get back in.

I dropped a really sharp knife while washing up with child sitting at my feet. Watched it falling point down in horror. Thankfully it just caught the side of his foot but was close to being very different.

Put a hot drink on the table not realising child could reach. That was a&e and multiple visits to change burn dressings.

Have fallen while carrying children, dropped things on them, trapped their hands in a variety of doors.

Shit happens. We all just try not to break them too much before they reach adulthood.

My very young son inserted his finger into the window hinge as I slammed it. It didn't break somehow but the noise was sickening.
I lost my twins on a very busy beach for 10 minutes aged 2 when they ran off together while I was looking at my older son. I was near vomiting when we finally spotted them playing happily - with no idea that they were lost.
My daughter climbed out of the triple pushchair as I was leaving nursery and I got to the corner before a member of staff shouted at me to come back. This one was embarrassing! She later climbed out again and cut her head open on a small stone she landed on which needed gluing in hospital and I had to purchase super straps to keep her in.
I lost my daughter at the zoo aged 2.. she was walking beside us and got lost in a crowd.
I could go on..
I'm a very paranoid over protective mum and these things still happen when you're busy/distracted overwhelmed or just trying to do too much.
They are all happy healthy teenagers! I'm quite grey these days!

DD's first Christmas, she was 2 months old, we were visiting my parents. When it came to time for Dad to drop us home I loaded the presents and our bags into the car and my Dad stood there "have you forgotten something?" so i checked for phone, keys etc, told Dad no I think I've got everything and he started laughing "I definitely think you've forgotten something..." I had left DD in the living room with my mum.

Oh! Once realised my very independent 3 yr old had spent a full afternoon at nursery with no knickers on without anyone realising!
My son licked a toilet brush that was soaking in bleach and I had to call for advice. - he was thankfully unharmed and I no longer own toilet brushes.
I keep thinking of more! 20 years of four children I must have hundreds!

I'm remembering more.

Lost child multiple times. My finest I think was the butterfly tent thing outside the natural history museum. The staff were very good at shutting off all the exits.

There was also the time a child vomited while having nappy changed and I grabbed the shitty wipe instead of the clean one and wiped their face.

We won't even go into the multiple lost my temper and screamed at them moments.

I've done the exact same thing... Twice. Thankfully the second time my dd was 4 and she knew how to unlock the door.

Social services won't be round and I can't believe your mum said that to you..

Like everyone says, it's very easily done. I've done at at least twice to mine and they show minimal signs of ongoing trauma.

@Chancey1982 when my DD was 3 my brother got married and at the quietest moment in the church she gasped and shouted "I'VE GOT NO KNICKERS ON!"....So, high 5!

If your car has an electronic dashboard there should be an option to stop auto locking, I found it on my current car.

I only found the option as I now always looks for it in the manual because the exact same thing happened to me years ago when my ds was a toddler, luckily for me a friend knew somebody who used to steal cars as a teenager so got him to break into without having to smash any windows

I would say your mum has had a bigger parenting fail today than you @OakleyStreetisnotinChelsea . What a dickish thing to say to you!

When DD has temporarily disappeared for a few seconds (bad enough) my instinctive response is not to look for her but just say nothing and stand very still. It’s the weirdest thing. I am a

I'll have to tell my friends who still work in social services that they should be coming round for every child accidentally locked in a car on top of their already overburdened workload or genuine child protection concerns. I'm sure they'll be able to squeeze the time in, as soon as someone figures out a reliable method of bilocation.

@NKFell your last example made me remember when I left for work with baby ds strapped in his car seat in the hallway. Realised when dd’s said “are we not taking ds to the childminder?” 🤦🏼‍♀️

Oh OP bless you what a day you have had! I voted AIBU because you are for beating yourself up about it.I am sure you are the best mum ...accidents happen and you are all ok! Stop crying dry your eyes and think tomorrow is another day .

Your mum was an absolute bitch about this. Honest mistake and no harm done. I remember the white hot horror of realising DS had vanished into thin air once when I wasn't watching - he'd run off to hide and thought it was hilarious but I was terrified.

Tbh, your child is unlikely to come to much serious harm locked in the car in winter ,.even for an hour if you are there . They might be distressd of course. Obviously it is more urgent in summer . Calling the emergency services is fine though I.think in that situation.

Just try and forget it, we all make mistakes. Maybe get a window break think like someone mentioned if.you are worried as well as a spare key

My dad dropped me In a swimming pool as a tot. My mum left my brother at the shops l. She put a nappy pin through my stomach skin when pinning my nappy. Show me a parent who hasn’t had a fail l. Important thing, no one was harmed. Window can be fixed

Is your mum always so supportive?

OP: The exact same thing happened to me.

2yo DD got locked in car while she was strapped in, at an airport car park. The fire brigade came too. She's 11 yo now and has no recollection of it.