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Using fork in right hand, knife in left..

499 replies

AG29 · 17/12/2019 18:53

I am aware it’s meant to be the other way round but I feel most comfortable with my fork in right hand and knife in left. The opposite feels uncomfortable and I was never taught any different growing up. It’s never caused me too many problems. I generally have good table manners.

My OH’s mum is a bit of a nightmare in general. If we eat there (not often thankfully but Christmas next week). She has told me to swap hands before but I don’t feel comfortable that way. To the point I avoid eating there as much as possible. OH reminds me to eat with fork in left if we are going over there too and I’m sick of being spoke to like a child.

Aibu to think they should just leave it be? Does it really matter. It’s not like I’m eating with my bloody hands!

OP posts:

JulietTango · 17/12/2019 18:58

No, it doesn't matter at all.

Dh and I have this conversation occasionally. He eats with fork in his left hand. He is however left handed so I just point out there is no difference between the way we eat. We both hold the fork in our dominant hand


Screenburn · 17/12/2019 18:59

I also do this. When people comment (which sometimes they do) they have said “Oh I didn’t know you were left-handed!”

I’m too embarrassed to correct them and say no, I just can’t use cutlery ‘properly’. As long as you can use cutlery full stop, though, it shouldn’t matter!


ThunderboltandLightning · 17/12/2019 18:59

DH swaps hands regularly, but is more comfortable the 'wrong' way round like you. I found it odd when we first met, but have got used to it. He switches to the 'right' way at formal dinners (military).

Why does it matter to them? Are they the Royal family? Of course they should leave it.


Dutch1e · 17/12/2019 19:02

None of your post is really about cutlery, it seems much more about what a pair of dicks your OH and his mother is.


Disfordarkchocolate · 17/12/2019 19:02

'Sorry, what did you say?' - looking directly at them and calmly.

If they repeat it 'Oh, you meant to be rude'.

It's never good manners to comment on someone else's manners.


TheMustressMhor · 17/12/2019 19:02

DH and I both eat with the cutlery this way round.

It doesn't matter at all. Your MIL and DH are being very unkind. As you say, you're not eating with your hands.


Gillian1980 · 17/12/2019 19:02

I hold my cutlery back to front too and my granny used to tell me off every time we ate together. I’m right handed.

My brother is actually left handed but holds his the correct way around.

I really don’t see the issue.... as long as table manners are generally good and the food is eaten.


KurriKurri · 17/12/2019 19:05

My DS (adult) uses his the 'wrong' way round - it's never been a problem. He's does a lot of stuff the left handed way (scissors etc) as do I.
My SIL is left handed but was always made to use cutlery (and other things) the right handed way by MIL. She looks extremely awkward holding her cutlery. I'd much ratrher people just held it the way they feel comfortable.
It's all just custom anyway - other countries use cutlery differently or use different eating implements, or use hands. No one is wrong.


FizzyIce · 17/12/2019 19:06

What if you were left handed , would they be so rude ?
They’d hate me as I only use my fork a majority of the time Grin


AwdBovril · 17/12/2019 19:07

I grew up eating this way. I've (had to - due to disability) learned to eat the other way round. It's totally doable if you practice, preferably at home with non-messy dinners at first! Grin I still eat with my fork in my right hand, mostly, but I can do it the other way round now.

Or if people comment on your supposed lack of table manners, you could comment on their lack of manners. Your "lack of manners" adversely affects no-one.


Justmuddlingalong · 17/12/2019 19:08

Your OH reminds you to use your cutlery the opposite way to the way you find comfortable. He obviously gets his dickish behaviour from his mother. Fuck that! Stand up for yourself!


NorthernSpirit · 17/12/2019 19:08

It’s not ‘wrong’ at all.

Would they ‘force’ a left handed person to use their right have to write?

Ignore their rudeness.

I eat this way as well. As does my DSS who is forever being told he eats the wrong way. It’s not wrong, it’s just something different from the norm. No big deal.


FizzyIce · 17/12/2019 19:08

I’m also right handed but wear my watch on my left wrist ..


isadoradancing123 · 17/12/2019 19:08

Whats the problem, just do what you are comfortable with


skintbutok · 17/12/2019 19:08

Ask them if they meant to be so rude to you.

What does it have to do with either of them?


Pindlesandneedles · 17/12/2019 19:08

I hold my cutlery the same way as you (because it’s way more sensible!!) if anyone said for me to change this I’d just laugh at them. I agree with pp that this is a MiL/DH issue not a cutlery issue.


justmyview · 17/12/2019 19:09

Rightly or wrongly, some people will judge you for not holding cutlery correctly. I wouldn't comment on it, and I would give you the benefit of the doubt that you didn't know the correct way to hold cutlery. However, I might not appoint you to a job which required dining out with clients

Your MIL is rude to criticise your table manners, and you might like to tell her this story


stoplickingthetelly · 17/12/2019 19:09

I eat the same way as you OP. My mum tried to get me to do it properly but I kept on switching them back. In the end she gave up 😂 When I first met my now fil he assumed I was left handed (I’m not). No one has mentioned it since. I think your mil is being very rude. Ignore her. Eat how you like it’s not hurting anyone.


JudgeRindersMinder · 17/12/2019 19:10

As long as you don’t hold your knife like a pen it’s all good! Your OH’s mum is very rude


pigsDOfly · 17/12/2019 19:10

I'm a bit of a stickler for using cutlery in the 'correct' manner; hate to see people holding their knife like a pen, but imo your OH's mum's offence is far greater than your's.

You are hurting no one by using your knife and fork the way you do she, on the other hand, by telling you how you 'should' be eating is being unkind and making you feel uncomfortable and self conscious.

Awful way to treat someone who's a guest in her home, or at any other time come to that. As you say you're not a child and pulling up another adult in this way is incredible rude.


Charmlight · 17/12/2019 19:10

OK in case ur own house or with close family, but I wouldn’t want to be seen eating like that in public, or see my child doing it anywhere.


PriscillaTheHun · 17/12/2019 19:11

I'm with your MIL on this one. I'm amazed when people don't have basic good table manners (which includes holding knife and fork correctly)

However, because I have good manners, I would never criticise someone or make them uncomfortable for it.


onlyoneoftheregimentinstep · 17/12/2019 19:12

This is nothing to do with left handedness. All the 'lefties' I know use their cutlery correctly. It's ooor manners.


Grasspigeons · 17/12/2019 19:12

I have this - my grandparents and in laws comment. I just used to laugh and ask why? And sometimes make up a study about high flying individuals my way.


MissGiddyPants · 17/12/2019 19:13

Those saying there is no tight way to do things do you believe there should be no formality in life?

Would you turn up in a pair of jeans to a black tie event?

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