Using fork in right hand, knife in left..

[AG29]

I am aware it’s meant to be the other way round but I feel most comfortable with my fork in right hand and knife in left. The opposite feels uncomfortable and I was never taught any different growing up. It’s never caused me too many problems. I generally have good table manners.

My OH’s mum is a bit of a nightmare in general. If we eat there (not often thankfully but Christmas next week). She has told me to swap hands before but I don’t feel comfortable that way. To the point I avoid eating there as much as possible. OH reminds me to eat with fork in left if we are going over there too and I’m sick of being spoke to like a child.

Aibu to think they should just leave it be? Does it really matter. It’s not like I’m eating with my bloody hands!

I read somewhere that Meghan Markle had to to be taught how to use cutlery 'correctly' before attending State dinners.

I've just googled it. Sod all to do with manners and everything to do with convention. There are different 'rules' for different cultures. From now on, when anyone questions me I shall just say 'my manners are fine, I identify as an American diner' and leave it at that.

That wasn't aimed at you saving BTW. Just crossed post! Agree about the eating with your mouth open. Esp some dcs where their parents think they are a cut above the rest and then their dcs do that and talk at the same time. Just eugh!

It's worse table manners to comment on it than it is to hold your cutlery the wrong way. Which is only wrong because tradition, it still works for its purpose.
I used to hold my cutlery the wrong way, my whole childhood but at some point, although I can't remember why, I made myself switch to holding them the right way and now it feels wrong to hold them the old way.

Sorry to change the subject slightly but on the topic of cutlery how does mumsnet feel about holding a knife like a pen?

Got it in 1 OP, you weren't taught any different.

There is a code, whether you like it or not, so I don't understand why parents don't correct their children. Obvious - the parents are doing it wrong.

I notice it instantly in restaurants if someone has their cutlery the wrong way round. My friends tell me they notice it too.

I also use my knife upside down most of the time As in using the blunt top edge rather than the sharp and/or serrated edge? Manners aside isn't that just making life difficult for yourself?

And I think people who hold cutlery the wrong way round look like they're struggling when cutting.

Still on the watch thing. I know at least 4 people who are right handed and wear their watch on their right wrist (me included).

Those saying there is no tight way to do things do you believe there should be no formality in life?

Yes, actually I do believe that. If that’s all you have to worry about in life is which hand someone holds a fork then you need to open your eyes to the world.

its poor manners

I can’t even begin to tell you how little I care if anyone sees me eating and thinks I have poor manners. I’m kind, say please and thank you and will always try to be helpful those are the only manners I’m bothered about.

I'm the same. Right handed and hold my fork in my right hand. I didnt even realise it was wrong untill someone once commented that they didnt know I was left handed! Of well I'm comfortable and dont shoot food everywhere so if anyone has a problem they can learn to deal with it

joyfullittlehippo Not middle class necessarily, just well mannered enough not to invite judgement in my milieu. Isn’t that what everyone is doing?

I also wear my watch on my right wrist. Didnt know until now it was the 'wrong' way

I don't struggle with cutting, unless I'm forced to change hands to the 'correct' way by bullish people with delusions of upper middle class grandeur.

It’s all well and good saying that this stuff doesn’t matter, but you might never find out that you were passed over for promotion for something like this. Making a comment to another adult is downright rude, but you can guarantee that there will be many people who have noticed, judged and not said anything. I have a lovely colleague who’s educated to masters level who licks her fork - I’ve noticed the boss looking horrified by this. However unfair it may seem, I imagine her chances of promotion are less than they would be without this habit.

That’s why I make sure my kids eat the ‘correct’ way.

Judging others visibly might be the height of bad manners.

Ooo this is giving me the rage. I have good table manners and I hold my cutlery the right way just left handed. Fork in my right hand. This always made sense to me. Most small children start with one item, spoon or fork, which tends to be held in right hand. Them a knife is introduced and you swop?? Weird. Anyway, what the fuck does it matter?? Who are these etiquette officials policing the masses?? Its all someone's opinion disseminated to the masses. One person decided it and then suddenly it's the 'right way'. Its all emperors new clothes to me.

They are being idiots. Especially your husband. And you a bit for actually swapping hands!
Can you just make a joke of it like "haha, yes, what time is the queen arriving?"
Or "haha, thats what my great grandmother used to say! I'd love to go back to Victorian times, wouldnt you."
And DONT swap hands.

Holding a fork in the right hand and knife in the left hand is nothing to do with manners. It's a hang over from the idea that using the left hand is wrong.

Poor table manners includes spilling stuff, making a mess, burping, reaching over someone, etc.

I don't give a stuff which hand is used for what implement.

I eat left handed but am right handed.
Dd left handed eats right handed.

They are being very rude, I can only think it’s harks back to when left handed people were frowned upon.

Arguably it is imperfect take etiquette to hold one's cutlery in the wrong hands.

It is certainly very poor manners to point this out to a guest!