Using fork in right hand, knife in left..

[AG29]

I am aware it’s meant to be the other way round but I feel most comfortable with my fork in right hand and knife in left. The opposite feels uncomfortable and I was never taught any different growing up. It’s never caused me too many problems. I generally have good table manners.

My OH’s mum is a bit of a nightmare in general. If we eat there (not often thankfully but Christmas next week). She has told me to swap hands before but I don’t feel comfortable that way. To the point I avoid eating there as much as possible. OH reminds me to eat with fork in left if we are going over there too and I’m sick of being spoke to like a child.

Aibu to think they should just leave it be? Does it really matter. It’s not like I’m eating with my bloody hands!

Ide correct my children but never another adult. How rude is that especially when it doesn't matter.

Just ask him not to talk with his mouth full or wave his irons in the air instead of setting them after every forkful!

Bear in mind some people were not brought up with sitting down at a table to eat with someone teaching them table manners. They had to teach themselves how to use cutlery.
This does NOT apply to everybody who holds their knife and fork "wrong", of course!

MilkTrayLimeBarrel
Mealtimes mush be fun in your house.

DH comes from a culture that eats with their hands. So I don’t have to get Hyacinth Bouquet over how he holds his cutlery as he won’t be holding it at all.

I’ve never understood why it’s okay to deliver the food to your mouth using your dominant hand if it’s pudding or soup or anything with a spoon but not a fork? I like to cut everything up first then move the fork to my right hand, abandon the knife and shovel it in.

Sorry - I cannot bear people who do not hold their cutlery properly. It shows a lack of education and social etiquette. My DH holds his knife like a pencil and fork right down near the tines - it is so ugly.

Hmmm. I think an over emphasis on thinking there is one true way to hold cutlery and that it makes some sort of grand statement about a person's education level or societal acceptability shows a lack of true class and grace.

And I can't say that I would ever think I couldn't 'bear a person' for something as trivial as this.

Serious question.

Where does this crap come from? I mean, who decided it was 'basic manners' to hold the knife in the right hand and the fork in the left?

And more importantly why?

Lack of etiquette- yes. Lack of education- don't be so silly. I'm ambidextrous. I also have a degree. If you watched me decorate a room and seamlessly switch hands whilst painting you'd be impressed, not hoiking up your judgy pants!

Judging people over made up bullshit is poor form. I know whose manners would concern me.

Mymum was taught that way my dh also holds it this way and says im wrong

turns out noones wrong

I noticed DH does this the other day (I've known him 9 years), he says he's always done it.

In some circles improper table manners would lead to judgements about the quality of your education.

However, nothing shows a person to be ill mannered more than commenting on someone else's manners!

My reply would be 'shut up Hyacinth' to be perfectly honest!

I’m also right handed but wear my watch on my left wrist

That's what you'd expect isn't it? I'm left-handed and wear my watch on my right wrist so I can use my dominant hand to fasten it.

I use my cutlery correctly though as do both my left-handed parents. Never thought of this as a left-handed thing.

DH does this and I remember the first time I took him home to meet my DPs, my aunt, uncle and grandfather, all of whom were/are proper sticklers for the correct table manners, I was so worried that they may notice and say something. It was fine as they either didn't notice, or didn't care and nor should they have done as it really doesn't matter. If he'd licked the knife, then that may have been different though!

DS is a leftie and holds his the 'correct' way, whereas DD, a rightie, holds her's the same way as DH.

Sorry - I cannot bear people who do not hold their cutlery properly. It shows a lack of education and social etiquette
wtaf am I reading on this thread?
What a load of snobby gobshite. Get a fucking grip.
Someone is holding a knife and fork in the opposite hands to the ones that you do (I do this). I swap them without even thinking about it.
Who actually decided that there is a right and wrong way to eat with a knife and fork and what arm to wear a watch on???
I mean seriously.
Spend more energy on worrying about the children who are living in poverty and starving in this country.

In strict terms of etiquette, you'd be rude to use the 'wrong' hands but they'd be ruder to comment.

If they say anything just smile and do a tinkly laugh.

I'm pretty sure there is a special place in hell reserved for monsters who force others to smoosh peas on the back of their fork in the name of good manners!

Sorry - I cannot bear people who do not hold their cutlery properly. It shows a lack of education and social etiquette.

And being unable to 'bear' people holding something comfortably, shows an even bigger lack of education I think.

You'd break out in a cold sweat if you ate with Chinese families who use chopsticks and hold a bowl of rice under their chins, so they can shovel it in.

I expect you'd faint with all four limbs in the air if you ate with some Indian families, who rarely use cutlery at all.

I m left handed and have a coordination disorder and use them the right handed way albiet very slowly but if someone told me I was doing something wrong with the way I'd eat, i'd be trying to educate someone and if they belittled me again i'd consider if they were people worth spending time with.
If your OH is picking at you for something this small, i'd be considering whether the relationship is one that's making you happy.

Oh god, brings back memories of my MIL. I didn't have the cutlery issue, but everything else I did was fair game to be commented upon, loudly and at length. Scooping a bit out of the butter rather than planing off a 0.5mm even layer. Having sugar in coffee. Having mayonnaise in a chicken sandwich. Having a cheese sandwich one night after 5 nights in a row of chicken sandwiches. Eating cereal with a soup spoon.

It felt like a physical weight lifting off me when we could finally leave.

At least this guy is using his knife and fork correctly. In McDonalds.

@DappledThings I actually meant the other way round 🤦‍♀️

I had a girl come to eat at our place - she'd never eaten with a knife and fork before. It was lovely watching the acceptance and help from the other girls - no sneery condescension and judgment.

I went out with two women to a Japanese restaurant who were ridiculously proud of not knowing how to use chopsticks, and making sneery comments about chopsticks (in front of the Japanese Hosts and chef.)

I know who I thought had a lack of education and social etiquette.

But it’s extremely basic table manners. Would you eat like that if you were out somewhere? It’s nothing to do with the dominant hand. My husband if left handed and doesn’t eat like that. I had table manners drummed into me though as a child and I am grateful for it now.
I would be embarrassed if he or my child ate like that.
Perhaps I need to chill?......