Using fork in right hand, knife in left..

[AG29]

I am aware it’s meant to be the other way round but I feel most comfortable with my fork in right hand and knife in left. The opposite feels uncomfortable and I was never taught any different growing up. It’s never caused me too many problems. I generally have good table manners.

My OH’s mum is a bit of a nightmare in general. If we eat there (not often thankfully but Christmas next week). She has told me to swap hands before but I don’t feel comfortable that way. To the point I avoid eating there as much as possible. OH reminds me to eat with fork in left if we are going over there too and I’m sick of being spoke to like a child.

Aibu to think they should just leave it be? Does it really matter. It’s not like I’m eating with my bloody hands!

[mbosnz]

I make sure my children eat the correct way - as I understand it to be. I'm aware that many others have different understandings of what is the correct way. There is no one true way.

I'm also making sure my children have the manners to not comment, stare or judge if someone eats differently from what they have been brought up to believe is the correct way. Also, to ensure they can eat with chopsticks and understand different cultures etiquette and that they may be different, this does not make them 'wrong'. Thankfully they have the wit to be able to comprehend this.

[Grasspigeons]

A code. Fantastic. People might realise I dont have a title. I guess something had to guve me away.

[AG29]

Thank you. I have to say that I’ve never taken much notice of how others hold their cutlery. I was never taught differently and never took any notice as a child so didn’t feel like what I did was wasn’t the norm. The first person to mention it to me was my great aunt. She was actually a lunch lady at my school and she questioned if I was left handed whilst eating. I had pack lunch 99 percent of the time too..


Otherwise my table manners are good (I think).

Also my sons eating habits concern her. He has autism, dyspraxia and hypermobility and struggles big time to use a knife and fork at all 😩

It’s very rare we out a restaurant ^^autistic son and restaurants don’t mix so I don’t have to worry about that. Take away doesn’t matter as I’m in the comfort of my own home! 🤣

[FlamingoQueen]

My dd uses cutlery that way round. I’d rather she did that than use her fingers!

[Charmlight]

joyfullittlehippo are you saying that I would be laughed at by the upper classes for holding my fork in my left hand and my knife in my right hand?
What do you suggest then, if I dine amongst them?

[PicsInRed]

This thread... 🤣
It's BouQUET! 💐

Charmlight, Christmas present gift for you.
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Watching_the_English

[stoptryingtomakefetchhappen]

I do this. I broke my right arm when I was a child and had to learn to eat ‘the other way’ (I’m right handed) and the habit stuck. It’s not the ‘wrong way round’ in my opinion, I just find it more comfortable. Family and friends are used to it but it was very annoying in the early days of being with my DH who would regularly tut and say ‘how can you eat like that?’ and the in-laws who would take offence when I switched my cutlery round at their dinner table. Ridiculous!

[YeOldeTrout]

I grew up outside UK. Nobody in my large extended family knows that there is a 'correct' hand to hold fork with. They'd be baffled by the idea.

[Honeyroar]

I’m left handed and have always used my left hand for my knife. Nobody has ever commented on it or looked twice. If I eat quietly, don’t wave my cutlery around or drop food etc I can’t think why anyone would think I had been badly brought up. I’ve also been a first class air stewardess for years. I’ve seen plenty of people from the upper classes eat left handed in first class too.

There are a million better things to judge people on their manners for than this, surely! I couldn’t even be the slightest bit worried about someone who was strange enough to judge me on this!

Ps, the only time I’ve ever felt judged for how I ate was by a French countess that I au paired for who told her daughter never to touch her bread with her hands while eating soup, it must be cut with a knife and picked up with a fork and NEVER dipped in the soup (said just as I was dipping).

[redandwhite1]

I do it this way and I'm not a leftie

My dad used to make comments but doesn't anymore

Id happily swap if no one complained when my food flew all over the place! Just can't do it!!

[Charmlight]

PicsInRed Ooh thanks for that link x Might request it at the library 😁
I’ve been relying on ‘Noblesse Oblige.’
No wonder I’ve had my nose wiped for me by joyfullittlehippo

[My2ndfavouriteFword]

Omfg your mil is unbelievably rude. I think as long as you're hitting your mouth, not getting good all over and using a knife and fork you're fine. But it is very rude to comment and demand you eat in a certain way. I'm not sure I could eat with somone that rude.

[FearOfTheDuck]

I hold my fork in my left hand to cut food, then switch it to the right to eat with. I have a disability which affects my left hand, so if I tried to use cutlery the 'correct' way, some of the food would probably end up on the table or in my lap. That seems like a much worse breach of etiquette.

Nice to know I'd be judged by so many people on this thread - and no, my disability isn't obvious from looking at me, so you wouldn't know that was the reason for it.

[NaviSprite]

Jesus Christ aren't there more important things to get wound up over - there's nothing wrong with using cutlery the way you do @AG29 I do the same.

My FIL used to comment frequently on it too, so I replied that I will consider changing the way I use my cutlery if he ever takes me to the Ritz or if I'm invited to dine with the Queen

[Kazplus2]

I'm the same and would be very cross if someone mentioned it to me and would go so far as to say that if they found it an issue I apply wouldn't eat there and would make different arrangements.

[pickingdaisies]

Tools to help us eat. I learnt to eat the "correct" way. Then I moved abroad and realised that the Brits are bonkers.

[Mummymummums]

I use cutlery like you despite being right handed but in no way have I ever thought it was a manners issue. It's just what feels best for me. Lots of people do different things with different hands. None of anyone else's business - total non issue.
Your MiL is rude.

[My2ndfavouriteFword]

I think it's a bit of an old fashioned thing to be fucking obsessed with the right way to do stuff no one else cares about.

[Charmlight]

joyfullittlehippo Worry not - I would not be seen or heard judging anyone. That would be bad manners. And they may be judging me.
The judging goes on, I’m afraid.

[LadyMonicaBaddingham]

My DS1 does this, as do my uncle and one of my 2nd cousins. We call it 'kecky cutlery' because Nanny always did. As long as no-one is spraying food everywhere, it really doesn't matter. Even at a formal meal with row upon row of cutlery, it's easy enough to make the hand-to-hand switch discreetly.

[BigChocFrenzy]

Most Americans I've met eat with just a fork in their right hand

• they cut up the food first with fork in left hand & knife in right.
  
  In some cultures, burping is good manners from a guest, to show your host that you enjoyed the meal
  
  Different customs, no "right" one

[yellowallpaper]

Tell your DH to tell his parents to stop with the cutlery nonsense, and do the same while he's at it. I would be livid if told how to hold my knife and fork (unless I was 5).